For a long time I've had sexual feelings towards other men but I wasn't sure that I was definitely gay so I didn't do anything about it but last week I got a bit drunk and had sex with a gorgeous guy for the first time and I think I'm in love. I need help coming out and I'm not quite sure about what to tell my friends and family. I'm worried that they'll reject me and maybe never want to talk to me / hang out with me again. I just don't know if I can keep this bottled up any more. Any advise would be much appreciated.
Personally what I would do is come right out with the 'like it or tough ****' attitude, if they want to accept you for who you are then excellent and job done, if they don't like it and want to hide beind religious or homophobic rhetoric then they are not your friends and they are not a good family. TBH I'd wait until Nexxo turns up and corrects us all.
Don't bother coming out... Just start coming to double dates with other guys. Though, my co worker next to me (who is gay) suggested I say this: "Just kill yourself. And when you do, make it messy." Though I imagine he just wants you... too bad we're across the pond.
Seems to me that you just did. Of course, it's easy when you're behind the relative anonymity of the internet. I can't really give you any good advice, as it depends so much on the attitude of your family and friends. Some people don't care, and some will want to drag you behind a pickup for it.
You think you're gay? I think the whole thing you described means you are in fact homosexual Good for you! Don't let other peoples BS get to you - live your life how you want and be proud of yourself. Are your parents going to not accept it? Your friends don't matter in as much that if they really care about you - they'll accept you, otherwise they can go **** themselves if they turn out to be homophobic idiots.
I'm honestly tempted to close this discussion purely because I don't think it'll be helpful for you and I don't think the forums are the correct place to air such thoughts, but I guess I can leave it for now (Edit: Especially since Bindi has piped up directly above me ). Just saying that as a heads-up in case anyone steps out of line. As for Nexxo, he is of course welcome to comment here - but I don't personally think it's right for you guys to point to and expect him to step in here and solve it all. Like all readers, he's just a tech-head who enjoys the site and is under no obligation to discuss things like this. The professional in him would probably agree that while airing things like this in a public forum can be good in a cathartic and anonymous-help-searching kind of way, they shouldn't be relied upon because everyone is acting from behind the same anonymous veil. If you feel you really want to talk to a professional like Nexxo then it's far better to do that in a proper setting and not just in the forums of a hardware and games site. We can of course try our best to point you in the right direction and there are certainly forums out there which are better suited to this conversation or a fusion of the two interests, like Gaygamer.com All that's purely said as a friendly warning to you all which is as much about not abusing a core and prominent member of our moderator team as it is about the dangers of taking the advice from internet strangers. In the end you need to find your own way, like we all do. There's a time and place for each discussion and it's important to recognise that fact. Good luck.
I knew someone who "came out" at uni. If I'm perfectly honest, he didn't really at all, we all knew, he just hadn't said anything He got a bit of a weird reaction from some people but they were still good friends oh his and in the end, didn't really give a monkeys. Aside from a bit of banter (which is to be expected ) Anyway, they shouldn't treat you any differently. If they do, then they are either not very good friends or could have had parents or other influences that make them prejudiced. If that's the case, don't immediately give up on them, it could be that they just need a chat or something. If that doesn't work then they are dicks.
Its your life, other people have pretty much hit the nail on the head and apparently nexxo found out cardjoe's password and is posting under his name. As for the issue at hand, its your life to live. You will probably have some really weird moments when you tell people and could possibly loose some friends but its something that will come out eventually and it would probably be best for you to have a little bit of control about when and how whatever news comes out. If your family likes to gossip like mine it would be best for you to come forward with information like that, you don't want to have everyone at thanksgiving dinner looking at you thinking that you beat your girlfriend. (long story, she told my cousin that I hit her so she could get a ride home when she was mad at me once)
You may find the resources at Intl. PFLAG useful in your situation. Here's the info: FFLAG Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays http://www.parentsofgays.co.uk West Yorkshire-Leeds c/o V.A. Leeds Stringer House 34 Lupton Street Hunslet Leeds England LS10 2QW 0113-267-4627
You should really talk to somone you trust and have known for a long time and bring it some somone qualified. But you could initally 'come out', on an actually gay forum. Remember though that opinions are only opinions at the end of the day YOU will know best how your family and friends will react andyou may be suprised to find that they already had suspicions. I would do that if I found I was in the same situation.
Regardless of sexuality, I'd advise caution. You say that you think your in love after a drunken encounter, which was also your first of this kind. Does that story ever end well?
Yea, but this guys been feeling this way for a long time. Probably a huge crush? Love is only really something you have after you've been through the ups and downs and still care deeply about the person. That would be my definition of love at least. However I would hazard a guess that he wants to feel loved by this guy. Sorry I dont want to analize you SparkuS. I realise it's coming out thats more the issue. Gay people tend to have allot more relationships than hetrosexual people. I don't really know why that is, but I think you'd be safer considering why this feeling is only sexua and sex is only part of a relationship, if it's just about sex you'd want to think further about how much you'd quantify yourself as being gayl? I think Cardjoe is right though. Best to seek professional advice mate. I think were only going to either end up getting into an argument, or making you feel deeply confused and I'm sure none of us want that for a fellow bit-techer! What ever happens I hope it works out for the best for you.
I agree to a point, but would you not ask friends for advice? BT is rather a close community and I would certainly trust the people here for sage council, morons are usually expelled rather quickly. Yes, perhaps immediately choosing nexxo for the job is unfair, but years of giving good detailed advice like he has do not wash away instantly, and he is the most qualified here on this issue.
It's a whole lot easier airing something on the internet than in real life, I've done in a number of times, so I don't see why this thread is a problem? Personally, everyone is bound to find out one way or another, you might come back with a guy someday, and it will just click to everyone, you won't even have to say "I'm gay". To be honest, I'm not gay, and I'll never be, so I have no idea what thoughts your having about coming out, also it depends how close you and your family/friends are, and if they dislike or like homosexuals, for example, If I was gay and I came out, my Mum wouldn't mind, but I know my Dad would. So it's really upto how you are with everyone.