I worked the technical helpdesk for a cable company for a while. A few gems: Custoderp: "Hi. My email works at the university, but not at home, and it's your fault." Me: "I's sorry for your inconvenience, let me take a look at that for you. What email adress is this ?" Custoderp: "I dont know." Me: "..." Custoderp: "Hello?" Me: "yeah i will look into it. Can you please hold?" Took me a full minute to actually recover so i could go on to solve that one. Another favorite: Custoderp: "yeah can you please reset the code on my set-top box for the adult content filter?" Me: "Has to be requested by mail. Did you forget the code?" Custoderp: "No, my 10-year old son changed the code and refuses to give it to us."