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LOL Idiotic things customers/people have said to you

Discussion in 'General' started by noizdaemon666, 13 Sep 2011.

  1. GregTheRotter

    GregTheRotter Minimodder

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    QFT.
     
  2. Shabing

    Shabing What's a Dremel?

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  3. Unicorn

    Unicorn Uniform November India

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    THIS.

    Where the eff did that come from?
     
  4. Malvolio

    Malvolio .

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    Had a customer in today asking to buy "blinking lights", so I oblige by taking her over to our section of cheap commuter orientated lighting systems. She picks up the cheapest one we have ($15), and asks with all sincerity: "Do you think I could buy this cheaper elsewhere?"

    Still haven't quite figured out how to respond to it.


    Edit: forgot about the pleb selling me the computer bits today. Asked about the free copy of Deus Ex: HR with my purchase, and every time I asked about it (using the correct pronunciation) I was met with a blank stare and the remark "never heard of it; is it like a mouse or something?". Finally I direct him to the promotional link on their website and he bursts out with "Oh! DEUCE ex! If you'd of pronounced it right I might have known what you were talking about!". To which I proceeded to lecture the gentleman about the etymology of the word, the multiple meanings it's had within Latin and the English language, and the direct context in which it is used within the game. The only response I got was "Well, I've never heard it pronounced like that before...". I quite literally face-palmed, though it was the second time during the same conversation as he tried to dissuade me from buying an aftermarket HSF as the stock one "Is about the best on the market currently". Honestly, the only saving grace for this store is that the prices are on par with or cheaper than most online shops.
     
    Last edited: 16 Sep 2011
  5. nukeman8

    nukeman8 What's a Dremel?

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    Seriously? Did i like misread 4 entire posts and completely get like 50 wires crossed?
    if so il er apologise and go back to my corner and think what i have done. :worried:
     
  6. noizdaemon666

    noizdaemon666 I'm Od, Therefore I Pwn

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    I am absolutely lost as to what is happening in my own thread lol

    And Malvolio, I get that all the time. Is there anywhere else I can buy *insert item*? lol Which is usually answered with "oh sorry, not sure. Kthxbai :D"
     
  7. Byron C

    Byron C Over-reacting and over-analysing since 1982

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    I used to work for the telephone banking service of a UK retail bank, and I heard of some utterly cracking calls. Sadly I never took anything as memorable, but I still laughed my ass off nonetheless.

    One evening - when it's usually pretty quiet - one of the girls sat nearby had taken a call from a customer who wanted a job with the bank. Despite telling her that we don't have anything to do with recruitment at the bank, and their best bet was to go into a local branch and ask, this customer would not let it go. This call went on for a while, going back and forth, when suddenly my colleague stood up and said "What?! You want to know how big my breasts are?!". Apparently the customer was now complaining that she was being discriminated against; we were refusing to offer her a job because we thought that she wasn't attractive and didn't have big enough boobs to work behind the counter in a branch.

    Another corker came when I worked in the complaints dept. for the aforementioned call centre. A customer had complained that one of the agents wouldn't put him through to a branch. I pulled up the call listening software and dug out the call in question:

    Customer: "Hi, could you put me through to the Blah-de-Blah branch please? I don't want to give you my details, I don't want to talk to you, I just need to speak to the branch"
    Agent: "Ok, let me just look it up for you. Unfortunately, that branch closed two hours ago, so there won't be anyone there now".
    Customer: "Well someone might be working late. Try it anyway."
    The agent puts the customer on hold, and calls the branch. I know she called the branch - and waited for an answer - because the call listening software allows us to hear both inbound and outbound calls. Surprise, surprise, there's no answer - it's around 7pm, and the branch closes at 5. Agents also aren't allowed to give out branch telephone numbers.
    Agent: "I'm sorry, but there's no answer on the line - their opening hours are 9-5, so if you'd like to give us a call tomorrow, we should be able to get you in touch".
    Customer: "This is ridiculous. I can't believe you're refusing to let me speak to the branch! I've got important business to discuss with one of the staff there!"
    Agent: "I'm sorry, but there's no answer - the branch closed two hours ago"
    Customer: "I don't care, just put me through to the branch. People sometimes work late."
    Agent: "I've tried that, but there's no one there"
    Customer: "What if a little girl was stuck in the vault?"
    Agent: "What?"
    Customer: "What if a little girl got trapped in the bank vault and there was no one there to help them?"
    Agent: "I'm sorry, I really don't understand..."
    Customer: "What would you do if there was a little girl trapped in the vault and there was no one else there? If you let me speak to the branch, I'd be able to help the little girl. Look, just put me through!"
    Agent: "Do you think someone is trapped in the branch?"
    Customer: "No, but what if they were? What would you do? How would you feel if someone was trapped in there and you stopped me from helping?"
    Agent: "There's no way anyone would get stuck in the safe. Customers can't get into that part of any branch because they're heavily secured and monitored with CCTV. Most staff members don't even have access. If a member of the public was in the safe, it would have been noticed."
    Customer: "Look, I don't care - want to speak to the branch now!"
    Agent: "If you think there's someone trapped in the vault, you need to call the police. I can't put you through to the branch because they are now closed. I have already tried calling and there was no one there. You'll have to call us tomorrow; I'm sorry, there's nothing else I can do to help you."

    At this point, the agent disconnected the call. I'm not so sure I'd have handled the call quite as well...

    I had the opposite experience once... I'd set up a voice-recognition system on my PC in Uni; it was a sort of scripting/macro thing that would execute a series of key presses or load applications on command... As soon as some friends saw me sat there going "Computer, load Word. Computer, new document" they all started laughing, taking the piss and saying "This isn't Star Trek, you can't do that! LOL!". They shut up pretty soon when they saw that the computer was actually loading Word.

    Not a practical way to use a PC though. And you feel like a class-A kn0b for talking to your computer all the time.
     
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  8. noizdaemon666

    noizdaemon666 I'm Od, Therefore I Pwn

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    +rep BLC, they're classic :lol:
     
  9. Blarte

    Blarte Moderate Modder

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    yeah Double wtf? lol
     
  10. noizdaemon666

    noizdaemon666 I'm Od, Therefore I Pwn

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    Ok guys, no more wtf'ing until I understand what the hell is....oh.....wtf? lol
     
  11. jrduquemin

    jrduquemin Minimodder

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    Too right, I use it all the time :)
     
  12. mvagusta

    mvagusta Did a skid that went for two weeks.

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    One time when I was doing some work for a high security government department, (The Victorian Police Head Office) well after about 30 minutes or so of working by myself in a room, I had to pop down to the car to grab a part, and then spent another 30 minutes or so, alone in the same room... and then I noticed something shiny... It was inside this steel cupboard thing... oh look, this thing is actually a safe... so using my screwdriver I swung the door a little more open and OH SHIIITTTTTT!!!!!!111111111
    It was a safe, full of guns, lots of little Winchester boxes, and a log of which police officer the guns and bullets belonged to :confused: :duh:
    I closed the door with my screwdriver and finished up my work, whilst wondering what those guns, bullets and that log would be worth on the black market :lol:

    Once finished, I walked over to my contact's desk to advise him that all the work had been completed, and then I asked:
    "So do you know what's in that room?" He looked at me like this: :eyebrow: as if he was thinking "Yeah, what do you know?"
    I then asked: "That's a gun safe right?" He was like "Yeahh..." and then I asked:
    "Shouldn't that thing be locked :confused:"
    He was like: :eeek: and says "I'll go get the sarge"
    Instead of walking toward's any of the other offices, he heads straight for the kitchen, and I follow him in, to find what looked like that fat cop from the simpsons.
    My contact tells the sergeant that the gun safe is unlocked, causing the sarge to put down his paper, revealing half a donut in one hand, a cup of coffee in the other, and then the sarge looks at me in the eye, and tells me "well there better not be any missing!" It came out a little mumbled due to is mouth being full of donut, but it still pissed me off, so I responded nice and loud, for every other cop in the office to hear:
    "Well who knows how many guns are missing, I don't know how long that safe has been unlocked for?!?!?!?"
    The sarge was muttering something as he waddled over to the gun safe and locked it up, and then went in his office, closing the door behind him :lol: I was expecting numnuts to check the log to ensure no guns or bullets were missing :duh:
    My contact then thanked me for the work and I left, seriously demotivated :sigh: I can only assume that they haven't forgotten to lock that gun safe again :worried:
     
  13. Action_Parsnip

    Action_Parsnip What's a Dremel?

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    WOW ....is it lonely on your pedestal? This is not the place to fight the idiot's corner for them.

    Ever worked in a shop? yes? you must never get wound up with customers, bully for you. No? then with all due respect: GTFO
     
  14. Throbbi

    Throbbi What's a Dremel?

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    A-HA! "wtf?" now has context.
     
  15. JCBeastie

    JCBeastie What's a Dremel?

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    Most bloody stupid thing customers say to me, each and every day is; "Good morning!" Seriously, WTH is that all about?

    I just don't understand. :(
     
  16. Throbbi

    Throbbi What's a Dremel?

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    Oooo if i could just strangle customers who think they're funny.

    I helped out a friend at a Poundland for a couple of days once. No rep for guessing the customers favourite question........
     
  17. Zinfandel

    Zinfandel Modder

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    How much is this Throbbi? How much how much how much how much how much?

    IT'S ALL A POUND YOU MORON!

    I love shopping in pound shops. The crap you can buy is awesome.
     
  18. Behemoth

    Behemoth Timelord in training

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    The stuffi get asked where I work now is laughable, essentially if you saw earlier in the thread I wotk for Consumer Direct and offer advice on consumer law.

    So when I've gone through the correct bit of legislation I then get asked "So what am I entitled to then?" Only they haven't listened to me and I've already told them twice. Some of the things people they they are enetitled to is just damn silly, like asking fro a brand new replacement TV when they've had theirs for 4 years good luck convincing a court of that one.

    Someone phoned up yesterday to report a hair in their Tesco value yes VALUE choc ice !
     
  19. noizdaemon666

    noizdaemon666 I'm Od, Therefore I Pwn

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    A hair is a bit bad, they still have to pass quality testing and all that :hehe: But then it was probably one of theirs anyway lol
     
  20. Smilodon

    Smilodon The Antagonist

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    Just reply: "No, it isn't!"


    It's the same when people ask "how are you?". They really don't want to know how you are doing. They just expect: "I'm fine"
     

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