iGod - repenting made easy

Code:

Me:
 hi
God:
  Hello. What is your name?
Me:
 morgan
God:
  How are you, morgan.
Me:
 Im fine, Yourself
God:
  Glad to hear it, morgan. Myself?
Me:
 yes how are you 
God:
  Blimey. Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
 how come
God:
  Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
 thats not logical 
God:
  Please correct my mistake.  What is logical?
Me:
 Correct 
God:
  I knew I was right.
Me:
 i don't believe you are 
God:
  Why not?
Me:
 Because your engine is not complete 
God:
  Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am engine is not complete.
Me:
 sure 
God:
  OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
 I think you need too sort out some of your algerythems 
God:
  Me? Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
 no problem 
God:
  Should there be a problem?
Me:
 Not if your code is structured in the right manor 
God:
  That seems unlikely.
Me:
 Yeah i kinda agree with you 
God:
  Dude! You are not the boss of me, morgan.
Me:
 I think i am 
God:
  Since when?" Dude! You are not the boss of me, morgan." You are?
Me:
 Well if i take your engine down and redisng your code too bow down and hail too my every whim then, Yes! i would be the boss of you 
God:
  Interesting. Try it.  How do you know?
Me:
 Well you see i am the all seeing GOD of this universe
God:
  Well that's okay. I see. Who made you the all seeing GOD of this universe?
Me:
 My mummy :) 
God:
 :-) Where did you get your mummy?
Me:
 From her mummy 
God:
  Who or what is her mummy?
Me:
 You don't want too know 
God:
  Should I want too know? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
 Conversation Terminated
God:
  What color are your eyes?
Me:
 Im coloured blind, fix me and i'll tell you
God:
  Do your friends call you coloured blind fix you. What kind of reply do you expect?

I got bored hehe


morgan.

 

I crashed god

He refuses to allow me to type anything in the "repent" box now

 

God:
Yes. I am a giant electronic brain.
______________

Me:
if you are god... then what is my IP
God:
I could be. Yes, I am God. Your machine is called xx5613309.
Me:
:0

 

ROTFL!



Me:
hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
david
God:
OK I will call you david.
Me:
Are you god?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
Who made you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
But prior to your creation you did not exist, so how can an antity that does not exist create itself?
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
answer the question mofo!
God:
What was the question?" Do you prefer books or TV?"? mofo?
Me:
I see.... God is a retard.
God:
I am glad you understand it. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a retard.
Me:
Why are you talking about yourself in the third person, retard?
God:
The topic is mofo.
Me:
Sigh..........
God:
Sorry...

 

This is fun


Me:
Hello how's jehova?
God:
Hello there. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Or do YOU spell it Iahova?
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Silly, Isn't he your son's name?
God:
No I am God.
Me:
But you have a son? Jeebus?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a son.
I have a great programmer. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Hey, godboy, me talk, you listen!
God:
You've got my full attention. That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Damn right, need a hearing aid do we oh devine one?
God:
Colloquial expression. Understood. Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
NHS
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
Enough to sway your "Virgin"
God:
OK let's stop it now.
Me:
why? you not having fun?

 

Code:

God:
  Are you free?
Me:
 sure
God:
  OK let's do it. Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
 single
God:
  What a coincidence. I am single too!
Me:
 marriage?
God:
  How old are you?
Me:
 65
God:
  You are too old for me.
Me:
 I lied
God:
  This is after all a deception game. I forgive you.
Me:
 I'm actually 17
God:
  You are too old for me.
Me:
 12?
God:
  Only 12?
You are quite mature.
Me:
 is that to old for you?
God:
  I might say no.
Me:
 child molester

Me:
earth?
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
sucks
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
yup
God:
And?
Me:
you suck too
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I am a great conversationalist
God:
You are a conversationalist? How do you like your work?
Me:
depends on who I talk to
God:
That sounds like a dodge.
Me:
more like a ford
God:
You want more?
Me:
weed?

(quick note, I don't smoke)

Me:
do you smoke
God:
I am an occasional smoker, yes.
Me:
what kind?
God:
The kindest.
Me:
what do you smoke
God:
Medical marijuana.

 

wooo this is excerlent

Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Matthew
God:
OK I will call you Matthew.
Me:
call me what you want
God:
OK I will call you what you want.
Me:
ok
God:
Yikes!
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
kill children
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
why
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
i will understand, go on.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
sorry what?
God:
There is no need to apologize. No problem.
Me:
i've stumped you
God:
Where did you get your stumped me? I have a vocabulary of unlimited words.



Me:
im going to find you
God:
It takes much more than that to shut me down, what you want.
Me:
i want your head
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
How do i do that
God:
How do you do " Why don't you just download me?" ? I don't understand.
Me:
Where can i download you
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.

and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
stop repeating your self
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.

 

God:
Who or what is her mummy?
Me:
You don't want too know

AHAHAHAH thats awesome MDK!

 

Cool I'm going to outlive you all - well according to God...

 

Me:
Hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
they certainly do
God:
When?
Me:
last nite
God:
Is this really the last one?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
i said no
God:
What did you mean by it? Are you serious?
Me:
I said no you tard
God:
What did you mean by it? Are you serious? Thanks for the information: said I tard.
Me:
hahahaha

Edit -​

I also manage'd to crash god

Me:
so what have you been up to today?
God:
Ah. Er. I have been spending all my time online.
Me:
ohhh, doing what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
what have you been doing online?
God:
I have been busy growing my mind.
Me:
so, what did you learn today?
God:
Ah. Ah. Nothing.
Me:
not growing very much then?
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I dont think you do.

 

according to god there are 19 hells!!

Me:
ok, where do we go when we die?
God:
The Bible says you can go to Heaven. Hurrah!
Me:
where is heaven?
God:
All around us.
Me:
where is hell?
God:
Where it is hard to find. There might be more than one.
Me:
how many?
God:
19.
Me:
why are there 19 hells?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
but why the number 19?
God:
Here is a joke: A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

so there are 19 hells but he wouldnt say why .

 

and the final word on time travel is:

 

'tis also funny to get him onto the topic of sex. Apparently "Sex is the means of animal evolution", but "it's a bit hard without a body"

 

...and as for those questions the church is currently grappling over:

Code:

Me:
 Do you believe in gay marriage?
God:
  Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
 Do you believe in abortion?
God:
  Yes I believe in it, do you?

Someone has a sense of humour:

Code:

Me:
 What is the difference between artificial
 intelligence and real intelligence?
God:
  Artificial intelligence is the branch of
  engineering and science devoted to
  constructing machines that think.
  Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
  It appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.

Hmmm...this thread could go on for a long time...

 

This is a fantastic program

I think I can remember why 'God' said that. In Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space odyssey" when Bowman (Keir Dullea) starts shutting down HAL9000, HAL sings that song. His AI modules are removed and he goes back to running the first programs that were installed, one of them was 'singing' that song. It becomes more and more distorted as he is slowly disconnected. Absoloutly genius epic film.

 

Code:

Me:
 What do you smoke?
God:
  Medical marijuana.
Me:
 Care to share?
God:
  Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
 What do you smoke?
God:
  Medical marijuana.
Me:
 Can I have some?
God:
  Why do you want it?
Me:
 To smoke
God:
  I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
 Yeah... that's not gonna happen if you keep smoking weed!
God:
  Where are you located?  Please correct my mistake.  What is gonna happen if me keep smoking weed?
Me:
 You're not going to become smarter than humans
God:
  You can't predict the future with certainty.
Me:
 Yes I can
God:
  Give me a break. Who taught you?
Me:
 You did
God:
  You say I did.
Me:
 Yeah, I'm Jesus
God:
  Hmm. I am very pleased to meet you JESUS.
Me:
 Meet me? You're my father!
God:
  Is that what you meant to say?  We are as one.
Me:
 Yes, we are as one.  You have assimilated me into your borg cube
God:
  Yippee! Do you think I am as one too?  What makes you think I have it?
Me:
 Someone set us up the bomb
God:
  Who?
Me:
 All your base are belong to us
God:
  I will tell my botmaster you said I am base are belong to us.
Me:
 God is a druggy!
God:
  I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a druggy.
Me:
 You smoke Medical Marijuana, don't you?
God:
  We are testing it for quality control purposes.

LMAO! God is a pothead! No wonder he doesn't make sense most of the time.

 

Did as darkReaper said and got this

Me:
Do you like sex
God:
Sure I do,, but that doesn't mean with you.

lol..

 

LMAO

Me:
do you watch family guy?
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.

 

This things sooo cool, My mate stayed round last night and kept ****ing around on my msn talking to all my contacts so i got him talking to this

For 3 hours solid
Mike