1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

LOL Just For Laughs. Jokes & Gags

Discussion in 'General' started by Arthur, 19 Oct 2015.

  1. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    606
    I was having a pee in the swimming pool today. Flipping pool attendant saw me and blew his whistle that loud I nearly fell in.
     
  2. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    606
    I've got two old school bags that I really love, does that make me bisatchel?
     
    Behemoth likes this.
  3. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    606
    Someone threw a piece of cheese at me the other day. It wasn't very mature.
     
    javaman and Behemoth like this.
  4. Wakka

    Wakka Yo, eat this, ya?

    Joined:
    23 Feb 2017
    Posts:
    2,119
    Likes Received:
    672
    From the Ethtrader daily discussion thread on Reddit:

    Made me for reals LOL, in the office.
     
  5. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    606
  6. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    606
    I feel sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotised seven guys then dropped the mike on his foot and yelled, "**** me."

    What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.
     
    damien c, MeMo and Dr. Coin like this.
  7. Kronos

    Kronos Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    6 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    13,483
    Likes Received:
    606
    Fella near me invented beach sandals for one legged people, it was a flop though.
     
    javaman and MeMo like this.
  8. Arthur

    Arthur Comment is over there ----->

    Joined:
    24 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    1,394
    Likes Received:
    180
    Sad to hear that Roger Bannister has died.....aged 88....

    Can't say he didn't have a good run !!
     
  9. Flibblebot

    Flibblebot Smile with me

    Joined:
    19 Apr 2005
    Posts:
    4,700
    Likes Received:
    180
    ElThomsono likes this.
  10. David

    David Take my advice — I’m not using it.

    Joined:
    7 Apr 2009
    Posts:
    14,580
    Likes Received:
    3,105
    What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

    One is a big heavy animal, and the other is a little lighter.
     
    Vault-Tec, Dr. Coin and Arboreal like this.
  11. MeMo

    MeMo It is what it is

    Joined:
    26 Jun 2016
    Posts:
    617
    Likes Received:
    10
    Funny
     
  12. Mopsi

    Mopsi Member

    Joined:
    12 May 2017
    Posts:
    52
    Likes Received:
    10
    Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
    Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
    Doctor: "Nine."
     
  13. Mopsi

    Mopsi Member

    Joined:
    12 May 2017
    Posts:
    52
    Likes Received:
    10
    I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
     
  14. The_Crapman

    The_Crapman Don't phone it's just for fun.

    Joined:
    5 Dec 2011
    Posts:
    5,452
    Likes Received:
    1,939
    What do you do if you don't get a spreadsheet joke?

    Vlook it up
     
  15. David

    David Take my advice — I’m not using it.

    Joined:
    7 Apr 2009
    Posts:
    14,580
    Likes Received:
    3,105
    Capitalisation.

    The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
     
    Arboreal and The_Crapman like this.
  16. Mr_Mistoffelees

    Mr_Mistoffelees is not The Piper at The Gates of Dawn

    Joined:
    26 Aug 2014
    Posts:
    2,906
    Likes Received:
    945
    Spike Milligan, "“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States. ”
    Good enough for the Donald.
     
    Last edited: 4 Jan 2019
    Arboreal likes this.
  17. Arthur

    Arthur Comment is over there ----->

    Joined:
    24 Nov 2009
    Posts:
    1,394
    Likes Received:
    180
    My next door neighbour has been blaring out Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra records constantly for the last 7 days...

    I think he may have the crooner virus !
     
    Mr_Mistoffelees likes this.
  18. doolhoofd

    doolhoofd doolhof:maze + hoofd:head

    Joined:
    19 Mar 2012
    Posts:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    "A guy came up to me and said, 'Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt.'
    I said, 'Yeah. I bet she can sit down excellently.'"
    - Mitch Hedberg

    "If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive...
    they would eventually start finding me attractive."

    "What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
    One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause."
     
  19. Guest-44638

    Guest-44638 Guest

    Sometimes too true to even be funny.
     
  20. David

    David Take my advice — I’m not using it.

    Joined:
    7 Apr 2009
    Posts:
    14,580
    Likes Received:
    3,105
    I think the guy I bought my new shoes from is a drug dealer.

    I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all morning.
     

Share This Page