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LOL Just For Laughs. Jokes & Gags

Discussion in 'General' started by Arthur, 19 Oct 2015.

  1. Kronos

    Kronos Multimodder

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    I was having a pee in the swimming pool today. Flipping pool attendant saw me and blew his whistle that loud I nearly fell in.
     
  2. Kronos

    Kronos Multimodder

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    I've got two old school bags that I really love, does that make me bisatchel?
     
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  3. Kronos

    Kronos Multimodder

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    Someone threw a piece of cheese at me the other day. It wasn't very mature.
     
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  4. Wakka

    Wakka Yo, eat this, ya?

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    From the Ethtrader daily discussion thread on Reddit:

    Made me for reals LOL, in the office.
     
  5. Kronos

    Kronos Multimodder

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  6. Kronos

    Kronos Multimodder

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    I feel sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night. He hypnotised seven guys then dropped the mike on his foot and yelled, "**** me."

    What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.
     
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  7. Kronos

    Kronos Multimodder

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    Fella near me invented beach sandals for one legged people, it was a flop though.
     
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  8. Arthur

    Arthur It's for 'erberts !

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    Sad to hear that Roger Bannister has died.....aged 88....

    Can't say he didn't have a good run !!
     
  9. Flibblebot

    Flibblebot Smile with me

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  10. David

    David μoʍ ɼouმ qᴉq λon ƨbԍuq ϝʁλᴉuმ ϝo ʁԍɑq ϝμᴉƨ

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    What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

    One is a big heavy animal, and the other is a little lighter.
     
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  11. MeMo

    MeMo It is what it is

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    Funny
     
  12. Mopsi

    Mopsi What's a Dremel?

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    Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
    Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
    Doctor: "Nine."
     
  13. Mopsi

    Mopsi What's a Dremel?

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    I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
     
  14. The_Crapman

    The_Crapman World's worst stuntman. Lover of bit-tech

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    What do you do if you don't get a spreadsheet joke?

    Vlook it up
     
  15. David

    David μoʍ ɼouმ qᴉq λon ƨbԍuq ϝʁλᴉuმ ϝo ʁԍɑq ϝμᴉƨ

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    Capitalisation.

    The difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
     
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  16. Mr_Mistoffelees

    Mr_Mistoffelees The Bit-Tech Cat. New Improved Version.

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    Spike Milligan, "“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all the people some of the time, which is just long enough to be president of the United States. ”
    Good enough for the Donald.
     
    Last edited: 4 Jan 2019
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  17. Arthur

    Arthur It's for 'erberts !

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    My next door neighbour has been blaring out Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra records constantly for the last 7 days...

    I think he may have the crooner virus !
     
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  18. doolhoofd

    doolhoofd doolhof:maze + hoofd:head

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    "A guy came up to me and said, 'Look at that girl. She's got a nice butt.'
    I said, 'Yeah. I bet she can sit down excellently.'"
    - Mitch Hedberg

    "If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive...
    they would eventually start finding me attractive."

    "What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
    One has claws at the end of its paws, the other is a pause at the end of a clause."
     
  19. Guest-44638

    Guest-44638 Guest

    Sometimes too true to even be funny.
     
  20. David

    David μoʍ ɼouმ qᴉq λon ƨbԍuq ϝʁλᴉuმ ϝo ʁԍɑq ϝμᴉƨ

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    I think the guy I bought my new shoes from is a drug dealer.

    I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all morning.
     

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