matters of the heart

ok, here goes:

i have been in love for the same girl for the past year now, we are deeply in love, and have had our lifes fair share of misery and joy in our lives already. We are so well suited to each other it is amazing, and the fact that she has put up with me for the last year is amazing in itself!

she is the most sensitive, funny and wonderful girl i have ever known, and i love her tremendously, and in the past few weeks, this feeling has grown a thousand times over, and i am going insane! you see the problem i am facing is that in the last week i have seen her for a total of 3 hours, and its killing me. this will sort itself out over time hopefully, but it has made me realise how much i actually do love her, and want to be with her for the rest of my life.

we are both going to the same uni in september as well, and we will be living with each other outside the knowledge of her parents, who for some reason hate me, well thats not toaltty true, her mother likes me, but her father is an ******** who doesnt want his daughter to be happy with any man. So we live a lie to her parents for 2 years, then come clean to them, and hopefully get away from them when we move in together.

but then comes the next "problem", which is not so much a problem, but more of a technicality.. my gf has a daughter from her last and first real relationship, and although i know i can live with a child, and i am well capable of looking after her, cuz she is the sweetest child on the earth, i think her parents are going to make it amazingly difficult for me to have custody of her once we are living together.

but i diverse from the true meaning of this post, i love her with all my heart and want to be with her forever and always, and this week has been hell, cuz i have been "locked away" in my own mind with my thoughts, and i can draw only one conclution from them... i want to marry her, and be with her for the rest of my life, she is my world.

now should i wait, go to uni, and live with her a while, then propose, which will be difficult to hold in, or shall i do it now, have a long engagement and get all this worry off my chest, and be happier than i have ever been?

sorry if ive rembled and made little sence, but i needed to get this out to some people who will listen and help, and hopefully understand my situation and what this girl means to me!

thanq all

 

wow Tommeh, pretty powerful stuff,

i think that personaly, you should wait, i know it will probably be hard but in the long run im sure it will be a lot better. If she loves you like you say she does then she wont mind waiting either.

As for the child thing, surely your gf will have custody anyway and theres not much her parents can do about it? (i may be wrong, im not a custody expert)

I wish you the best with your gf and her child, you sound like uou will be very happy together

 

Get married then this feeling of "love" will soon dissaper beleve me it does

 

if i were you dont propose now build up to it live together for a few months & just drop little hints here & there for a while, then mabey 6-7 months down the line propose to her properly on a bended knee in a really romantic way.

oh if her fater still gives you trouble just remind him your better than her ex as he left her with a chile & youare man enough to do what many oter men would not, you are amn enough to wat to marry & take care of someone elses child, you sir are one of the good ones

 

Yea, WTF can her parents do if:

a) she is the mother
b) she accepts you as the "stepfather" almost, and she's comfortable with it.
c) you're both 18 or over i assume (going to uni) so you are legally adults who can do what you want.

However i can understand her fathers position, not wishing to pry or not knowing the full details of her past relationship maybe he see's you as just "another guy" after his little girl with only 1 thing in mind. Obviously you have shown this is not to be true, but fathers can be VERY protective and maybe because she is a single mother already he feels he owes it to her to keep her from these nasty men, or something like that. Just tred carefully and show your scenserity to her, but dont expect things to change overnight

Anyway - good luck to you both (or 3) and i hope it works out good in the end

 

errr checkout how much money the SLC will lend u if u get married... if u go to uni married you might get extra support/bursaries/accomodation... she should be getting extra $$$ cause of havign a child