I could realy do with some advice for the first time meeting up with my girlfriends dad. The guy is ex RAF and in the British Olympic bob slegh team, so he's quite macho! Where as I spend most of my time designing interfaces and making animations. I've already been told that he doesnt like me because i have long hair, beard, lip pearced and a tattoo Which seems a little narrow minded tbh! Any advice for making a good first impression and good conversation topics would be great I've been told firm hand shake and good eye contact is a good start.
When you meet him, ignore your gf for a few minutes and just chat with him. Make it sound like you're really interested in him, like you've heard loads and you have a lot of questions - "So I heard about the Bob sleigh team! What was that like? Did you win any medals? Is it as cold as it looks? Hehe" It's just a bit of subtle praise and attention but it should go a long way.
Hmm I dont realy talk to be girlfriends dad that much, but her mam is pretty cool. when I met her dad, he came into her room, and she introduced, us. (ask her to do that) All I said was "alright, how you doin?" started a little hello im whoever (forgot his name rofl) thats it, you cant force someone to like you, but you gotta try good luck.
Shave your beard, cut your hair, take peircing out. Acrons advice sounds good. This is your chance to dispell his preconceived ideas and stereotypes. Good luck dude, stand proud.
Look smart. Trim your beard and put in a really small piercing. Also, make sure you're hair is clean and neat. Treat it a bit like a formal interview until you get to know him but best to ease the gap by making a small compramise yourself.
dont change yourself for him... he will see right through that. be yourself and be cool. dont ass kiss or brown nose. im sure he dont want his girl going out with a poof, so if he doesnt like you dont start dressing up wtf if he doesnt like you then just dont give a crap and dont like him either. then he'll realise youre not a pushover and give you some respect.
Make yourself neat, that'll help. Don't totaly ignore the girlfriend, you don't want to appear innatentive, but do compliment him abit, and feign intrest. With a bit of luck he'll be socially retarded from the RAF and won't actually be very good with people, that might help you.
^ Being from the RAF doesn't mean he's socially retarded you know don't generalise. Anyway I think that you should relax, be yourself and just treat him like any other parent you have met before. No need to plan anything just "go wid da flow".
Nothing wrong with generalisation, so long as its not taken to be more then a generalisation. Plus, most people who spend 20 years in the RAF are pretty different to regular civvies. They've spent 20 years of their life in an environment vastly different to our own, and to be honest, I find many people who've spend their whole life in the forces to be less competent socially then people who havn't. Of course I was assuming he'd been in for 20 years, maybe he was only in for 4 or 5, in which case it will have had a much smaller effect on the guy. Good luck either way
tbh, you're doing the same thing to him as you accuse him of doing to you - you're generalizing and stereotyping. You don't need to change yourself for anyone, but understand you are with his little girl. I can tell you as a father that he doesn't like you for the sole reason that you are dating his daughter. That can change though as long as YOU make an effort to do so, don't expect him to. When you meet him, I agree with Bindi, look smart and treat this almost like you would a formal job interview. Talk to him on an adult level, be intelligent and non-confrontational. Don't be upset if he doesn't like the way you look as he is from a different generation. Over and above everything else, never forget that you are dating his little girl and knows what guys your age are thinking.
Dont get intimidated by the hand squeezing thing. Be yourself (dont get all dressed up, just be clean), be honest and look him in the eye when he asks something or when you tell him something. Your gf will defend you when you are gone.
Try avoiding saying things like "that **** is totally rad dude" or "me and mah homies were doing som serious **** in da ghetto."
Just take a bottle of vodka and a few beers and get pished with him....That's what I do with my g/f old man.
Thanks for the advice guys! Think i'm gonna meet him on sunday at his sons rugby match. Most of my friends parents seem to like me infact my buds mum just cooked me a bacon sandwitch! I will take out the peircing and cover up the tat when i first meet him. I'm realy interested in the whole bob slegh thing so thats useful
Wear a tshirt that thays "Yo Momma" - or one with a big arrow pointing to your pants, with some of derogatory comment to boot Then you should hug him when you meet him and call him dad, then ask for a cup of tea and tell him youre to be a musician when youre older! Then ask where the "old lady" is in rfeerence to his wife, and tell him he can see where his daughter got her lovely breasts from. That will make him love you, he will think youre "very" brave
