Merry Freakin Christmas

Discussion in 'General' started by chrisb2e9, 17 Nov 2007.

  1. Amon

    Amon inch-perfect

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    I'll dig around in the Toronto Star's archived papers. There was some commotion about the change during that time and I remember being annoyed and binned the paper when I was in the crapper; I prefer reading pleasant or meaningful articles when in the john.
     
  2. mvagusta

    mvagusta Did a skid that went for two weeks.

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    Ho, Ho, Ho (officially titled "VH1 Presents RuPaul Ho Ho Ho") is the 1997 album of Christmas music released by drag queen, singer and actress RuPaul. The album was a combination of original music, standards and comedy vignettes. Most of the traditional songs were given a campy twist. The title is a double entendre: though it is a phrase associated with Christmas (it is the sound of Santa's laughter expressed through onomatopoeia,) the term "ho" also refers to a whore or prostitute. The album's cover features three scantily-clad versions of RuPaul, and the back cover features her legs with panties around the ankles; these are the "three hoes".

    The album was tied-in to a television Christmas special from The RuPaul Show on VH1. Much of the humor on the album is of a risqué nature, making it quite different from traditionally wholesome holiday albums. For instance, the classic "All I Want For Christmas" is turned into a thumping dance song with lyrical changes requesting breast implants, a tummy tuck and rhinoplasty, so that (as she sings) "I can look real purty!".

    Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, Kris Kringle, or simply "Santa" is a historical, legendary and mythological character associated with bringing gifts on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. The popular North American form Santa Claus originated as a mispronunciation of Dutch Sinterklaas, which in turn is a contracted form of Sint Nicolaas (Saint Nicholas). However, the Dutch Sinterklaas is different from Santa Claus in many ways: see the section on Dutch folklore. The Dutch word for Santa Claus is Kerstman ("Christmas man"). Santa Claus has a suit that comes in many colors depending on the country. The most common depiction (red with white sleeves, collar, and belt) became the more popular image in the United States in the mid-to-late 19th century.

    Saint Nicholas of Myra is the primary inspiration for the Christian figure of Santa Claus. He was a 4th century Christian bishop of Myra in Lycia, a province of the Byzantine Anatolia, now in Turkey. Nicholas was famous for his generous gifts to the poor, in particular presenting the three impoverished daughters of a pious Christian with dowries so that they would not have to become prostitutes. He was very religious from an early age and devoted his life entirely to Christianity. In Europe (more precisely the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria and Germany) he is still portrayed as a bearded bishop in canonical robes. The relics of St. Nicholas were transported to Bari in southern Italy by some enterprising Italian merchants;[2] a basilica was constructed in 1087 to house them and the area became a pilgrimage site for the devout. Saint Nicholas became revered by many as the patron saint of seamen, merchants, archers, children, prostitutes, pharmacists, lawyers, pawnbrokers, prisoners, the city of Amsterdam, and of Russia. In Greece, Saint Nicholas is substituted for Saint Basil (Agios Vasilis in Greek), a 4th century AD bishop from Caesarea. Also, the Northern part of the Netherlands and a few villages in Flanders, Belgium, celebrate a near identical figure, Sint-Maarten (Saint Martin of Tours).

    Prior to the Germanic peoples' Christianization, Germanic folklore contained stories about the god Odin (Wodan), who would each year, at Yule, have a great hunting party accompanied by his fellow gods and the fallen warriors residing in his realm. Children would place their boots, filled with carrots, straw or sugar, near the chimney for Odin's flying horse, Sleipnir, to eat. Odin would then reward those children for their kindness by replacing Sleipnir's food with gifts or candy [Siefker, chap. 9, esp. 171-173]. This practice survived in Germany, Belgium and the Netherlands after the adoption of Christianity and became associated with Saint Nicholas.

    Children still place their straw filled shoes at the chimney every winter night, and Saint Nicholas rewards them with candy and gifts. Odin's appearance was often similar to that of Saint Nicholas, being depicted as an old, mysterious man with a beard. This practice in turn came to America via the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam prior to the British seizure in the 17th century, and evolved into the hanging of socks or stockings at the fireplace. In many regions of Austria and former Austro-Hungarian Italy (Friuli, city of Trieste) children are given sweets and gift Saint Nicholas's Day (San Niccolò in Italian), in accordance with the Catholic calendar, December the 6th.

    An early folk tale, originating among the Germanic tribes, tells of a holy man (sometimes Saint Nicholas), and a demon (sometimes the Devil, Krampus, or a troll). Young men dressed as Krampus are still involved in the celebration of Saint Nicholas's Day in Kärnten (southern Austria) and Carnia (northeastern Italy). The story states that the land was terrorized by a monster who at night would slither down the chimneys and slaughter children (disembowelling them or stuffing them up the flue, or keeping them in a sack to eat later). The holy man sought out the demon, and tricked it with blessed or magical shackles (in some versions the same shackles that imprisoned Christ prior to the crucifixion, in other versions the shackles were those used to hold St. Peter or Paul of Tarsus); the demon was trapped and forced to obey the saint's orders. The saint ordered him to go to each house and make amends, by delivering gifts to the children. Depending on the version, the saint either made the demon fulfill this task every year, or the demon was so disgusted by the act of good will that it chose to be sent back to Hell.

    Yet other versions have the demon reform under the saint's orders, and go on to recruit other elves and imps into helping him, thus becoming Santa Claus. Another form of the above tale in Germany is of the Pelznickel or Belsnickle ("Furry Nicholas") who visited naughty children in their sleep. The name originated from the fact that the person appeared to be a huge beast since he was covered from head to toe in furs.

    In the Netherlands Saint Nicolas (often called "De Goede Sint" — "The Friendly Saint") is now aided by helpers commonly known as Zwarte Piet ("Black Peter").

    The folklore of Saint Nicolas has many parallels with the Germanic mythology. Saint Nicolas has many resemblances with Odin, like the beard, hat and spear (nowadays a staff) and the cloth bag held by the servants to capture naughty children. Both Saint Nicolas and Odin ride white horses that can fly through the air. The white eight-legged steed of Odin is named Sleipnir. The letters made of candy given by the Zwarte Pieten to the children reminisce of the fact that Odin ‘invented’ the rune letters. The poems made during the celebration and the songs the children sing has to do with the fact that Odin was the god of the arts of poetry.

    On the origins of the helper there are various explanations. The oldest explanation is that the helpers symbolize the two ravens Hugin and Munin who informed Odin on what was going on. In later stories the helper depicts the defeated devil. The devil is defeated by either Odin or Odin's helper Nörwi, the black father of the night. Nörwi is usually depicted with the same staff of birch (Dutch: "roe") as Zwarte Piet.

    Another, more modern, story is that Saint Nicolas lilberated an Ethiopian boy slave called 'Piter' (from Saint Peter) from a Myra market, and the boy was so gracious he decided to stay with Saint Nicolas as a helper. In Belgium Zwarte Piet is still called "Pieter baas", derived from 'Piter'. With the influx of immigrants to the Netherlands starting in the late 1950's, this story is felt by some to be racial. Nowadays Zwarte Piet has become a modern servant who have black faces because they climb through chimneys and get blackened by the soot from the fire. The tools they held (cloth bag and staff of birch) are chimney cleaning tools.

    Until the second world war Saint Nicolas was only helped by one servant. When the Canadians liberated the Netherlands in 1945, they reinstated the celebrations of Sinterklaas for the children. Unaware of the traditions, the Canadians thought that if one Zwarte Piet was fun, several Zwarte Pieten is even more fun. Ever since Saint Nicolas is helped by a goup of Zwarte Pieten.

    Presents given during this feast are often accompanied by poems, sometimes fairly basic, sometimes quite elaborate pieces of art that mock events in the past year relating to the recipient (who is thus at the receiving end in more than one sense). The gifts themselves may be just an excuse for the wrapping, which can also be quite elaborate. The more serious gifts may be reserved for the next morning. Since the giving of presents is Sinterklaas's job, presents are traditionally not given at Christmas in the Netherlands, but commercialism is starting to tap into this market.

    The Zwarte Pieten are roughly to the Dutch Saint Nicolas what the elves and reindeer are to America's Santa Claus. According to tradition, the saint has a Piet for every function: there are navigation Pieten to navigate the steamboat from Spain to Holland, or acrobatic Pieten for climbing up the roofs to stuff presents through the chimney, or to climb through themselves. Throughout the years many stories have been added, mostly made up by parents to keep children's belief in Saint Nicolas intact and to discourage misbehaviour. In most cases the Pieten are quite lousy at their job, such as the navigation Piet (Dutch "wegwijs piet") pointing in the wrong direction. This is often used to provide some simple comedy in the annual parade of Saint Nicolas coming to the Netherlands, and can also be used to laud the progress of children at school by having the Piet give the wrong answer to, for example, a simple mathematical question like 2+2, so that the child in question is (or can be) persuaded to give the right answer.

    Santa Claus, as known in the US (white beard, red and white outfit, etc.), is an entirely other person, called (de) Kerstman (trans. (the) Christmasman. Although Sinterklaas is the predominant celebration in the Netherlands in December (36% of the population only celebrates Sinterklaas), Christmas is celebrated by a fifth of the Dutch population (21% celebrates only Christmas). 26% Of the Dutch population celebrates both.

    cbf pasting the rest, that's about half, let me know if you want more guys :dremel:
     

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