I really recommend going to see a psychologist (sp?). I had (and still have) a bad anger problem. When people piss me off it so often seems the best way out is to smash their face in. For instance, I was walking along and there guys are behind me kicking and throwing stuff at me. After about 30m of this I just snap, turn around and beat the crap out of the closest guy. Damage his teeth and seriously bruise most of his face. His martial-arts friend steps in and does his martial-arts stuff on me, basically punches me up against a bulding and tries to kick my head. (Which he still claims to have succeded at, though the scuff mark from his shoe was on my ARM). We all get in major trouble, but thanks to my schools crappy anti-bullying system NO-ONE gets punished. Not me, not them. I can get a dention for riding my bike outside the front gate, but I bash some kid's face in an I miss a lesson of IMM. Thing is, turns out these guys are one year younger than me, somewhat popular (though know for bullying people when the teachers aren't looking), and apparently kicked my ass. I still get sh!t about it to this day. I saw a psychologist (sp again), which really helped. What also really helps is to have some way to let out your anger (even if this sounds stupid, you're probably not doing it the right way for you). I find computer games a great way to release my anger, but it is different for everyone. Another important thing is the real reason why people tell you to "count to 10 before you do anything". This doesn't work, becuase while you're counting to ten you're thinking of what you're gonna do when you get there, and how good it is going to fell. What does work is sort of riding the adrenalen rush you get when you get angry. Instead of obeying the fight-or-flight reflex you can use the adrenalen to think faster and clearer. The moral of the story is that you cannot beat these people at their own game, becuase they make the rules. You need to find a way to break away from them. You're still young, and even if this particular issue does not work out, you will have a much better life than them if you keep at it. You might think eventhing I've said is utter BS (I know I did when people said similar things to me), and even if you try what I've said it won't really help unless you can come up with your own ideas. This is where the anger management/therapy/psychologist comes in. If you make up your own mind to go and see them, they can help you find a solution to your problem/s. Sorry for the uber-long post, but if any of it helps it was worth it.
There's no way you can think faster and clearer with adrenaline rushing around your system. The only way to beat is to have self-control and discipline before it gets to that point. It takes quite a while before I snap, but when I snap, it gets bad. The last time it happened was three years ago and the other guy had three broken fingers, broken nose and a dislocated shoulder. Luckily I was in boarding school at that time and according to the unwritten and unspoken rules between students, nobody complains about anything. The guy went to hospital and claimed that he fell down the stair .
Every post I've read detailing how badly you've hurt somebody else while losing your temper has been a post I've completely ignored and disregarded. If you're detailing that kind of info, you might as well just brag outright and skip all the other bits. Regardless, as most responsible people have suggested, seeing somebody to help you work through your anger management would be a wise idea, if you lack the self control to do it naturally/without help. It's a part of growing up for just about every testosterone overladen male on earth. Some never learn it due to whatever circumstances early in life, don't let yourself be one of them. The earlier you work through it, the better off you are! I also believe the people posting here concerning making an apology are correct, you may not get let back in, but at least you'll know you did the right thing, and that you were man enough to own up to your faults. That way you can move on, and not look back on it in 20 years and say to yourself what an idiot you were. Just keep looking forward, get some help, and I'm sure everything will work out just fine and dandy for you. Good luck, David
Well I used to have a big temper problem, at my Mum, my annoying, stupid, ugly, stupid (/rant) Sister, my dad coped it bad from me, the annoying guy who threw stuff, they guy that called me a nerd, the guy who kicking my seat, any body and any little thing I would go ballistic but not to the point of physical violence with anyone in my family except my Dad, But anyone else would get it, I had a real short temper for anything, and everything if It annoyed me. I probably should have seen someone but maybe it was me or the Stereotypical Aussie inside "ah she'll be right mate." But I didn't get help and still have never. But one day my sister was purposely annoying me to get me riled up and I just let it go, Dan then the next thing after that and soon I realized it was so much easier than fighting, so maybe it was cause I was lazy but I just completely lost interest in fighting and gradely my temper lessened and now I have no real temper at all, maybe the problem is laying dormant waiting to strike or maybe it is completely gone but I do know it is so much better not loosing your temper.
If it helps most people mellow with age, I have. But swearing and cursing at the tutors probably was the last straw, just hope you manage to get back in.
Jeez man this is going to sound harsh but you deserve everything you got. It's such a lame excuse to blame it on the fact your dad has a temper, and an even lamer one to blame it on the fact you were bullied at school. Loads of people have short-tempered parents, and loads were bullied, and if all of them acted like you the world would be a mess. To be honest I'm surprised you even got allowed back into a college after your exploits at the first one. The admissions staff must have been a lot more understanding than I would have been. Hacking your college network is pathetic and disruptive to other students, not to mention probably the stupidest thing you could do. No wonder you got caught and chucked out. Most people with even a vague understanding of networks could 'hack' most college networks - they don't have the resources to lock down their systems as securely as a monolithic corporation does. And as for beating up some degenerate who thought it was funny to throw things at you - firstly, don't you understand the reason they were throwing things was because they knew it would get you annoyed? Often people who are bullied have bad tempers, and the bullies do it to get a reaction. I'm going to sound like a school teacher now but, seriously, if you ignore them they'll normally get bored and leave you alone. And how immature are you that you need to resort to physical violence to get one up on those reprobates? If you can't rise above it or come up with a cutting remark to make them look stupid, that's your problem. As it is, you've made them look like comparative grown-ups. As for what to do next, don't get all sanctamonious about working at a help desk or whatever. Let's not forget, you've now been expelled from college twice, once for a violent, if provoked, assault. You're not exactly prime employment material are you? Here's my advice - get a job, any job you can at the moment because as I say you're not going to be beating prospective employers away with a stick. Then, instead of crying about how you're so hard done by and don't know enough about a computer language to get a programming job, learn. Programming and IT skills are probably amongst the easiest things to learn on your own and in your spare time. Then you may be able to apply for better jobs. Your grades show you're obviously not as stupid as your actions might suggest. Get a grip and get a life.
ok first im nto blaming anyone but myself. the comment abotu bullying was to show i can control my temper most of the time as i only "exploded" 3 times in 5 yrs. the comment abotu my dads temper was to say i kinda inhereted it. his advice to me when i was getting bullyed was to beat the crap out of them. but enough about him. as it depresses me to talk abotu him to much ( he died 1996. )
How'd the interview go, if we might ask? i doubt you did ok as you already seemed to have used your lifelines.. :s btw some ppl here are giving you stick here; you need to work out whether they're right or not, whether it's just immaturity or whether it's something else. either way do as you said you would and get an impartial second opinion. Whatever, good luck mate..
well when i went in today i saw 1 of the tutors that saw the whole thing and taught me 1 of the units last term(i did particulaly well in his assignment) and he basicly sed that if i had have gone over and told him "those are annoying me if you dont sort it in 5 mins i will deal with it" and if he didnt do anything he sed i would have been right to do what i did. and woudl have gotten away with it as he woudl have stuck up for me. ( i helped him get the practice bay working (computer graveyard) ) but the interview basicly went you shouldnt have done what you did. does your mother know yet. what are you gonna do now dunno go work full time at work and try n get into the it industry now go see connexions bye and dont come back to the college
tbh dude, mcclean was right. I've been bullied since year 3. Not as much physically as verbally, but I did get kicked in the face once. I have a violent temper, and when I get stressed I get violent and abusive. But every time someones bullied me, I've let it go over my head. I've had stuff pelted at me, geeze, I've even had someone spit phlem in my hair. I've never once injured someone over it. You've got no excuse dude. Learn some self control and stop trying to persuade yourself you're a special case - it happens to alot of people all the time. You had what was coming to you I'm afraid.
All this talk about how violence never solves anything. What a load of bull. I think that people seem to forget how ruthless children are when they pester other kids. I got pestered in primary school, got bullied and got beaten up. I really had a bad time. It ended the one time I kicked the crap out the biggest bully in the class. When I got into secondry school I swore to myself that that would never happen again. So I never took any crap from anyone. I must admit that I never beat someone up in school but I did really threaten them after school. A person is usually not bad, but crowds are vicious. I can take on anyone person and get them to be friendly to me. It is a different matter when a crowd picks on you. So I feel really bad for you that you got kicked out of college, but I must admire you for sticking up for yourself. Next time just dont do it at school.
Sorry about the result. All I can asy is that Anger managament is very important, you may get away with some fistycuffs at school aged under 16 but when you get older you have to be very carfull about not hitting people at all ever. You can get into serious serious trouble even to the extent of police involvement and court. I have had a few friends with anger issues they have been kicked out of jobs due to massive anger outburts or being violent or with other staff. I know how much people can be massive idiots but you have work something out, rise above them or ignore them or something you can't go and wack every fool you meet in life. I agree about seeking some kind of professional help. Good Luck, I hope things turnout well for you.
So, what age are the people bothering you? I have difficulty understanding the school system in UK but I heard you say the word "college" in the first post. Is college the same as "uni?" My point is, past the age of 18, I've never run into any problems of people throwing things at me...pestering me...or anything like that. People usually grow up around then and it makes life alot easier.
LOL at that he is about 18. same age as me. the entire group they are in has 1 brain cell shared between them all. the seccond part of our group has lessons with them and the tutor spends 90% of the lesson tryig to stop them acting like 12yr olds
im gonna join the "grow up" posse... fighting at school, at the age of 18 over something so pathetic is plain juvenile... either ignore it, move or chuck somat back My dad died around the same time as urs, and if you can't bare talk about it after 7-8 yrs somats wrong. U shouldnt internalise all that stuff mate. Next time try and apply to a realtively Ned free college
