I've got a Nikon 3100...with the kit VR lens. Then I got a 35mm 1.8, which is fantastic, but shows you the 3100 (and 3200 as well I guess) simply lacks a night programme. I'ts pretty much trial and error afterwards. The next lens I got was the 55-200VR, which really helps keeping a bit of distance from your subject. (yes, zooming on foot works great with the 35mm, but my kid doesn't like having a camera 20cm away from her face)
Another alternative would be the Tamron 70-300mm VC USD. I had a go with one the other day and was actually quite impressed with it (having always avoided Tamron lenses in the past), the build quality was certainly better than the 55-200VR, though it was admittedly bigger and heavier. I didn't pixel peep any of the images but a lot of the reviews say that it's basically on par with the Nikon 70-300 but is generally about £100 cheaper and can even be picked up for around £200 if buying used.
Alternatively, there's the other end of the scale. A Sigma 10-20 lens can produce very interesting pictures.
The Camera always tries to make it look like it's bright daylight. I like the night to look like night, therefore I'd need a night program. Kinda like the "night portrait mode" which it has, but without the flash. My compact Pentax is very good at this for instance. Sure in the end, after about ten test shots tinkering with the manual settings, the result from the Nikon is equal, then about half an hour later it's stunning... still I'd like the program just to tell me at what settings to START tinkering, thus saving me a lot of time.
Can't you just use the night portrait mode on the dial and then turn the flash off? isn't the flash able to be set to auto +red eye reduction, Auto + slow and off? or at the very least look at the aperture and speed the night portrait mode suggests and then use those in manual?
Use P mode and then dial in Exposure compensation to -1 or 2 Ev. Take the photo, it should come pretty close to Night mode.
I think I tried turning the flash off (or even keeping it in) in night portrait and both didn't work. Exposure compensation should work, aperture mode will still try to make the picture bright as day using ISO or time otherwise.