No Sex tonight either................

Discussion in 'General' started by MonkeyTurnip, 30 Sep 2005.

  1. MonkeyTurnip

    MonkeyTurnip What's a Dremel?

    Joined:
    23 Aug 2005
    Posts:
    697
    Likes Received:
    5
    Its funny cause its true...
    No sex tonight?

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

    And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

    I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE
    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a Woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
    her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

    I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
     
  2. Spiral Architect

    Spiral Architect Cooked on Phonics

    Joined:
    4 Sep 2003
    Posts:
    1,209
    Likes Received:
    2
    Seen that before but it still makes me chuckle. I just hope it's a real story.
     
  3. keir

    keir S p i t F i r e

    Joined:
    5 Oct 2003
    Posts:
    4,380
    Likes Received:
    49
    ha!!! in your face lol
    I didnt quite read all of that, but I wouldnt shout at her.
     
  4. Shadowed_fury

    Shadowed_fury Minimodder

    Joined:
    21 Nov 2003
    Posts:
    7,506
    Likes Received:
    21
    rofl, thats good ;)
     
  5. ChromeX

    ChromeX Minimodder

    Joined:
    12 Aug 2004
    Posts:
    1,606
    Likes Received:
    22
    awww I well thought it was real for a moment then :D i'd be brilliant if it was :)
     
  6. P2D

    P2D 99.999% Pure Spam!

    Joined:
    26 Mar 2004
    Posts:
    2,425
    Likes Received:
    0
    rofl, awesome! id love to do that..
     
  7. Sam0r

    Sam0r It's been a while

    Joined:
    24 Jun 2005
    Posts:
    1,900
    Likes Received:
    1
    Thanks for the tip :D
     
  8. acron^

    acron^ ePeen++;

    Joined:
    15 Oct 2001
    Posts:
    2,938
    Likes Received:
    10
    old but still funny :D
     
  9. webbyman

    webbyman Hax.

    Joined:
    7 Oct 2004
    Posts:
    2,755
    Likes Received:
    0
    lol if it ever happens to me then i mightl give it a try lol.
     
  10. dom_

    dom_ --->

    Joined:
    4 Jan 2004
    Posts:
    3,942
    Likes Received:
    8
    "I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis."

    is this ironic? as a tennis bracelet is a bracelet with diamonds the whole way around.
     
  11. acron^

    acron^ ePeen++;

    Joined:
    15 Oct 2001
    Posts:
    2,938
    Likes Received:
    10
    I'd say so :p
     
  12. Shadow_101

    Shadow_101 Mudkips.

    Joined:
    12 Feb 2004
    Posts:
    1,116
    Likes Received:
    4
    lol classic :D
     
  13. atanum141

    atanum141 I fapped to your post!

    Joined:
    22 Jul 2004
    Posts:
    7,986
    Likes Received:
    19
    u sir deserve a pint!!.....and a new girlfriend :hehe:
     
  14. Lost.Soul

    Lost.Soul What's a Dremel?

    Joined:
    26 Oct 2004
    Posts:
    339
    Likes Received:
    0
    quite amusing :D
     
  15. lex90

    lex90 Minimodder

    Joined:
    5 Aug 2005
    Posts:
    600
    Likes Received:
    5
    thats ******* amazing.....ill do that some time to my gf...haha....not that ide buy her that kinda stuff seeing as shes got all the money in the world...

    DAmn...that rocks
     
  16. Andromeda

    Andromeda What's a Dremel?

    Joined:
    29 Sep 2005
    Posts:
    171
    Likes Received:
    0
    roflmao.. really funny read thanks
     
  17. Krikkit

    Krikkit All glory to the hypnotoad! Super Moderator

    Joined:
    21 Jan 2003
    Posts:
    23,578
    Likes Received:
    413
    Lol, that's simply genius. One of those stories that would be more amazing than words can describe to see/do. :lol:
     
  18. Skylined

    Skylined Minimodder

    Joined:
    3 May 2003
    Posts:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hehe: :hehe: :hehe:
    That would be so funny to see.

    Somebody has to do that and tape it! :D :p
     

Share This Page