In true rugged manly tradition, the missus has said something ridiculous, and I felt I had to share it with a group of total strangers. Ready for it? "How does a guitar get born?"
Ah, the fairer sex... source of humour and many other good things! I once started a list, but apparently that was "offensive" to her. Here's some I remember (would remember more if I had been allowed to keep my damn list!): "It must take a long time to fly from America to Japan" (because you have to go over the Atlantic, Europe and the rest of Asia... apparently...) "A cow is somebody's son!" I think there's something in the female brain that makes it shut down once in a while. Probably when they see something shiny. (Scientific evidence pending.)
I remember when I was a teenager and I took my girlfriend at the time to Magaluf, we were having a romantic moonlit walk along the beach (you all know my true intentions ) and she looked up at the moon and mumbled this classic................"Wow, Spain's moon looks the same as ours does!!!" Beautiful girl but she really was dumb as s%*&!
Yeah, the fairer sex sometimes say the funniest things. Why, earlier tonight the other half said that she should be allowed out of the kitchen to be fair I chuckled then told her to pass me another beer and then sent her back to the kitchen so she could continue doing the washing up etc .
My house has it right, the washing machine and dryer are in the kitchen with the stove and sink. Best part is... it is surrounded by 3 walls which would make installing a cage quite simple.
I was once driving to the airport with the girlfriend. We had a bet on how many miles it was until we arrived. Turns out at the next sign we found out I was right, to which she replied: 'well, it won't be if I drive faster.'
"Oh my God, did you know Dave Grohl used to be in Nirvana?" Never have I been so disappointed in my GF
Geez, I was thinking it was kids pulling a blinder. Speaking of which..... I got out manouvered by my 2 year old. We do the usual spell things out. Shall we get A.... V..... A..... a B..... I..... K..... E..... ? and she turns around and says. I'm getting a bike, and smiles. 2 years old and 3 months FFS and she can spell. I can't spell and I'm f'ing 37 We've resorted to using a phonetic alphabet, I give it 6 month before she cracks it. The little sweetie will be able to out wit me before she gets to school. ><
Anyone seen that crappy film "The Core"? That bit towards the end when they're moving the bombs around on chains and hoists etc? Quote the girlfriend: "If that's a 10 megaton bomb, how are they moving it?". I **** you not. Then, this is the best bit, she asked 3 of her friends a week later about it, me having told her what it really meant. Two of them instantly said "Yeah, I always wondered about that". The other just had epic facepalm.
No specific quote per se but I was able to convince the two girls I work with that George Washington was not in fact the first president of the United States. Funniest day I've had in a while.
True story: My friend's GF asked another one of my friends: "Are you Chinese, or Asian?" He replied with "are you German or European?" She responded: "...But Germany is in Europe..."
her: "hey where does so-and-so live?" me: err, kinda over by the isle of dogs, near on one of the quays on the left of it "oh" you don't know where i mean do you? "no" ... "do you need a boat to get to the isle of dogs?" edit: i'd just like to point out, the particular lady responsible for the above is a friend.
