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Rant Possibly the greatest crisis man has ever faced!

Discussion in 'General' started by Cheapskate, 29 Dec 2010.

  1. Xir

    Xir Modder

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    Yeah, the Arabian way of washing instaed of wiping is very clean.
    Also used throughout Asia.
    The Japanese perfected it, no need for touching anymore. :thumb:

    Still, if you're not used to it, thying to hit your bum wit a jet of water, and dosing said jet of water right...it's a challenge.
    You either soak everything, or even worse, spraypaint yourself and your surroundings with water and residues. :D
    I prefer folded paper.

    Gotta save for a japanese one, though :thumb:
     
  2. Pieface

    Pieface Modder

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    I don't use public toilets for a number 2.
     
  3. Silver51

    Silver51 I cast flare!

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    IIR, you get something like four or six squares to use when out in the field. Which is okay when you're knocking out a handful of walnut-dry road apples, but they're not really up to dealing with Tuesday night's curry.

    As for anywhere that uses water instead of wood to sanitize the rings of Uranus, well, that's just not Cricket. Water is great for hosing down your car or for wet t-shirt competitions, but I'd rather not flood the uncanny valley like some junior fireman on their first day. And seriously, you've still got to dry down there - right?

    Unless Dyson has a particular brand of cyclone bum driers that I'm not aware of, paper, cotton or a phone directory will be involved eventually.
     
  4. zukomonitor

    zukomonitor assumption is the mother of all....

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    This thread is comedy genius, effin lovin it!!!

    Edit: I read this, put my phone down and then used the fold technique :D
     
  5. RichCreedy

    RichCreedy Hey What Who

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    anyone remember having to use tracing paper
     
  6. Teelzebub

    Teelzebub Up yours GOD,Whats best served cold

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    In india its a pit with pigs in lol a mate nearly lost his nuts there when a pig jumped up and tried to take a bite.

    And I was in a public toilet in the UK and the bog seat poet had written on the wall, If on the roll there is no paper under the seat you will find a scraper.
     
  7. DeathAwaitsU

    DeathAwaitsU I'm Back :D

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  8. saspro

    saspro IT monkey

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    You get wood near Uranus?
     
  9. woof82

    woof82 What's a Dremel?

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    In Kazakhstan the only toilet paper seems to be very densely packed and sans cardboard tube in the middle. I should start importing that stuff....
     
  10. Xir

    Xir Modder

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    Kazakhstan?
    You have the stuff the east-germans used to produce? That doubles as sandpaper? :D

    As a friend of mine that watched every penny back then said while purchasing 4-Layered TP...
    "The best is barely good enough for my luxury-ass":D
     
  11. Throbbi

    Throbbi What's a Dremel?

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    Here's another sore point though. Have you ever found there to be no paper after taking the throne and been forced to craft the 'Emergency Trowel' from the tube itself?
     
  12. Guest-23315

    Guest-23315 Guest

    I'd rather perform the waddle of shame to the next stall to be honest.
     
  13. Flibblebot

    Flibblebot Smile with me

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    You mean Izal TP? Unfortunately, it's not made any more. I know, disappointing, isn't it - to learn that until recently there were people who actively searched out the crappiest toilet paper in preference to other, softer, toilet papers.

    For those that don't know: Izal, otherwise known as tracing paper, was a medicated TP that was commonly found in school and public toilets. It was called tracing paper because that was what it was like. It didn't so much wipe as smear around, whilst at the same time causing major bottom trauma caused by the sharp edges and creases.

    Frankly, sandpaper and bare twigs would have been preferable to having to use Izal - and most people my age will remember having to walk around with tightly clenched buttocks until you got home rather than have to suffer the indignity of having to use tracing paper.

    Ah, the memories ... :sigh:
     
  14. RichCreedy

    RichCreedy Hey What Who

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    'Many people still use this as their toilet paper of choice.' hmm, can't think why anyone would still want to use that stuff.

    and yes it was the stuff it was referring too.

    in my case it was use it or poop yourself, due to the 30-40 mile trip home from school on the tin can buses
     
  15. sleepygamer

    sleepygamer More Metal Than Thou

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    On my old forum, the topic of folding vs scrunching came up. I'm very much a scruncher. I led the scruncher army against the folding battalions in a war that would only end in tears.

    And when the paper tears for those damn folders, they got poop fingers, fo' sho'.

    It then got more confusing when I started the Scrunching@Home thread, and probably damaged a few prions.
     
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  16. Throbbi

    Throbbi What's a Dremel?

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    Only if there's some really stubborn klingons which have become attached to hairs ;)

    P.S. Lmao @ Scrunching@home
     
  17. boiled_elephant

    boiled_elephant Merom Celeron 4 lyfe

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    This sounds like 110% believable fact to me. Any questions?
     
  18. Kylevdm

    Kylevdm The Mod Zoo Podcast Host

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    Ahaha, I do believe I may need some nice 4 ply 'cushioned' toilet paper after reading this...

    However, back on topic, the 2 ply sand/tracing paper combo that we get at university is going to be the end of me! Especially as people were stealing my real toilet paper for a while and now I have to carry it with me... :-/
     
  19. Tyinsar

    Tyinsar 6 screens 1 card since Nov 17 2007

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    There are worse things:
    [​IMG]
    At work the washrooms have 2 ply but the plies are very very thin.
     
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  20. zukomonitor

    zukomonitor assumption is the mother of all....

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    not presonally but I could see it getting the job done lol

    PMSL!!! :thumb: funny sh*t!!
     

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