Rant Possibly the greatest crisis man has ever faced!

Am I the only person who'd never heard of this 'scrunching' technique before this thread? Folding just seems the only logical way. I mean...paper is flat, you know?

Admittedly, I don't regularly ask people their preferred technique though. Maybe this is a mistake.

 

If you can't get a 'log' to flush it makes a good stabber.

 

Why waste time folding?

 

Many reasons, young Padawan, but mostly, folders do it in the name of science.

It's important to know, down to the nearest ply, the thickness of the paper that separates one's fingers from their foxhole. Too thin and it'll tear while tractoring turd crumbs along one's cleftal horizon, too thick and we risk over-pressure, losing said crumbs in our under-forest.

Folding also allows you to accurately balance how much paper you're going to use, against how much is left on the roll. Cleaver origami can extend the TTLRF (Time To Loo Roll Failure.) Miscalculate the TTLRF, say, by scrunching, and you'll be performing a mid poo-paper refuelling manoeuvre before you know it.

 

This is possible the single greatest post on the forum.

 

Utter genius. However it raises another potential quandary.

Should the 'mid poo-paper refuelling manoeuvre' happen to be during the act of bending a new biscuit which is severely lacking in structural integrity, then Newton's Law of Viscosity could leave a long term reminder of the mistake all over the room. Ergo, scrunchers are in error. FFTW!

 

Superb, simply superb. + rep

 

+1, + rep for silver!

 

My rep button broke, and no longer allows rep for silver or mankz.
You people talk of either wadding or folding. Have you not learned the art of a wadding nestled in a fold? -I'm not sure of the correct terminology... "The catcher's mitt?"