From Red Dwarf: "Lister: And for this very special occasion I have baked - a cake. (Lister uncovers the cake. It is covered in icing, with a candle in the middle) Holly: What's that then? Lister: It's in the shape of a spanner, Holly, cos he was a technician. Holly: Well, that's very apt, that is. If he'd been a postman you'd have baked it in the shape of an envelope, I suppose? Lister: Yeah! Holly: Gordon Bennett, it's lucky he's not a gynaecologist."
To keep theme... Fish! Todays fish is trout a la creme, enojoy your meal! Fish! ... repeat ad nauseum every and any time anyone orders fish!
"I have killed, but I am not a killer because a killer is a monster, and monsters aren’t afraid" “Do you ever get the feeling that the universe is out to get you?” “Nope, but it’s definitely out to get you. It’s fun to watch” "Ideological purity never survives contact with the enemy" "Every miracle we’ve pulled off, we’ve done it using primates, just because we’re capable of mind blowing wonders doesn’t mean we aren’t still sex murder machines. The organism doesn’t change.” And my personal favourite. "They're all f*cking men." "I thought only Admiral Souther-" "I don't mean they all f*ck men, I mean they're all men, the f*ckers." Ps, in case you haven't already, go and read The Expanse.
Hadden: “Why build one when you can build two for twice the price?” David Drumlin: “I know you must think this is all very unfair. Maybe that's an understatement. What you don't know is I agree. I wish the world was a place where fair was the bottom line, where the kind of idealism you showed at the hearing was rewarded, not taken advantage of. Unfortunately, we don't live in that world.” Ellie Arroway: “Funny, I've always believed that the world is what we make of it.” Contact, I keep meaning to read the book.
I'm sure everyone knows this: " In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people very unhappy and has widely been regarded as a bad move"
From the TV show, not the books… “Don't call me that. I'm a member of Parliament, not your favourite stripper.” “You could be both.” Or perhaps my favourite… “You’re not that guy, doc… You’re not that guy…” [waits for Meng to leave, turns back…] “I am that guy…” “Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”
"Greetings Starfighter! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Xur and the Ko-Dan armada..."
"The only thing that helps me keep my slender grip on reality is the friendship I have with my collection of singing potatoes." Holly:We're a bit short on a few supplies. Lister:Like what? Holly:Cow's milk. Ran out of that yonks ago. Fresh and dehydrated. Lister: What kind of milk are we using now Holly:Emergency back-up supply. We're on the dog's milk. Lister: Dog's milk?! Holly: Nothing wrong with dog's milk. Full of goodness, full of vitamins, full of marrowbone jelly. Lasts longer than any other type of milk, dog's milk. Lister: Why? Holly: No bugger'll drink it. Plus, of course, the advantage of dog's milk is that when it goes off, it tastes exactly the same as when it's fresh.
Probably my favourite, because of who said it. From Braindead, uttered by the one and only, the old fuddy duddy, Harold bishop "Fuk the chain stores" Another great line from that film; "I kick arse for the lord!" It's somewhere between 42 and 54
Can't believe no one said this yet, it's the first one that came to mind. "game over man, game over!" Edit: Haha, and the one in my sig
Not strictly sci-fi, but Douglas Adams has so many great quotes: "It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." "My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees." and my favourite: "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. … Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
I talk, you listen; me smart, you monkey Oh, that is so cute! Your species is like a dog who thinks he's being clever by pooping behind the couch.
“But the plans were on display…” “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.” “That’s the display department.” “With a flashlight.” “Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.” “So had the stairs.” “But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?” “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”
