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Smacking your child

Discussion in 'General' started by Guest-16, 7 Jul 2004.

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Smacking, right or wrong?

  1. Yes. I agree with smacking children.

    85 vote(s)
    67.5%
  2. No. I disagree with smacking children.

    24 vote(s)
    19.0%
  3. Hmm. I'm undecided.

    17 vote(s)
    13.5%
  1. lcdguy

    lcdguy Active Member

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    i think that hitting or smacking children is ok as long as it is used only in extreme cases where discipline is required. i remember when i was little, i was afraid of doing something really bad, cause i was afraid of being spanked. but i agree that it should only be used in the most extreme cases.
     
  2. jezmck

    jezmck Well-Known Member

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    I don't give a rat's whether you were married before "doing the do" (to quote stewie from Family Guy), it's whether you love the kid.

    I am glad to see this poll has a one-sided result.
     
  3. Halgy3000

    Halgy3000 New Member

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    Egads! Sex outside of marrage! What is this world comming to?
     
  4. MaplinMan

    MaplinMan New Member

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    try explaining it to family tho
     
  5. fartonmyear

    fartonmyear New Member

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  6. MrBurritoMan

    MrBurritoMan New Member

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    I would have to think that smacking your child for no reason is completely wrong. However just talking to your child to discipline them is wrong too.
    Some children disregard authority completely so having to apply force is justified but only to a point. If too much force is involved in a parent child relationship then the child will disregard anything that the parents say because they will eventually see the dictatorship that the parents exercise. Instead this relationship between parent and child should be more like the Law of Moses. If they do something then the discipline should be discussed between your wife and you and your child until an agreement concerning punishment is made. That way the punishment is always seen as fair between all parties. If there are multiple siblings in the family then a "family council" should be held to decide the punishment of the violator and a standard punishment should be created for that offence. This will provide a feeling of fairness between siblings. I know that when I was growing up I felt that things were a little but unfair and this tarnished the relationship between my parents and I.

    So my final point is this if force is used in a family situation then that force must be duly justifiable and authorized by the whole family. If the complete family is not available and punishment is necessary immediately then careful consideration should be used when dealing out said punishment.
     
  7. Halgy3000

    Halgy3000 New Member

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    Yes, exactly. If you punish wrong-dooing, then also show them that obedience is rewarded. Eventually, the child will just learn to obey the rules, and then they will not need to be punished. But sometimes it IS needed.
     
  8. MikeTitan

    MikeTitan Ling Ling: 273 Battle Points

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    Hmm I don't have a child of my own but I have lived with my sister since she had her baby. I have found that when you tell them no for putting a car in the trash they know not to do it. If they try to stick a fork in the light socket a slap to the hand or butt enough to get them to have a "fake" cry or pouty lip they know its bad and not to do it.

    However after like 5 it doesn't really work. I know my dad tried to spank me after 5 and I learned that if I tighten my butt and pretend like it hurted I could get away with stuff. However if he took my Nintendo and TV away I was more apt to pay attention. I think groundings work best until 18 or your kid leaves. I know if I had my computer back in the day. I would be rather sad if I couldn't kill aliens and such. However I would excpect and I would also be more then willing to 5 across the eyes if my kid or If I ever talked back (i.e. I hate you, you _______<-insert nasty word there).
     
  9. rankie

    rankie New Member

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    I agree with the major of the comments made here, that is: spanking should only be used as a last resort, I also agree that piss-farty punishments like time outs and all the new laws etc.. don't help the problem.

    I reckon that if parents didn't spoil there kids by buying them all that latest toys etc... and punishments such as digging up garden so that you can stick some new roses in(as long as it's age\offense appropriote) would fix alot of kids
     
  10. felix the cat

    felix the cat Spaceman Spiff

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    i really should keep my mouth shut but here goes:

    since when does getting physical solve anything?
    like fighting for peace? i dont even have to name examples that show you right now it doesnt work....
    i know that educating a child, or teaching it discipline is important, but i think smacking even in that sense is wrong...i get quite pissed off when i see screaming mothers hit their screaming kids in shopping centres...

    also, seeing as smacking causes the nerve ends to send a message to the brain that there is pain, hence making the child think about what they did wrong, and not to do it again, can you see parents fitting electrodes on their kids and just giving them a zap whenever their naughty? essentially its the same thing, its just that society would deem it to be cruel and inhumane...but for some reason smacking is ok...

    well, i will shut up now that i have put my 2p in...
     
  11. Halgy3000

    Halgy3000 New Member

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    Yes, smacking them is wrong if done willy nilly, but as a last resort it is a must. If a child does not behave no matter how many time outs or groundings you give him, then you must use something else. I do not like the people who smack their kids every time they do something wrong (Walmart anyone?); in that case, a firm scolding should be appropriate. However, if the child does not respond to the punishment, what are you supposed to do, just allow it? If the child sees that the absolute worst punishment they will get is a time out, they start to be disobedient even more. They stop listening to you and just doing whatever they want. But ONE firm spanking will solve the problem. The child will realize that spanking hurts, and if the parent even threatens to spank them, the will probably behave. I think spanking your kid once is better than a million time outs.
     
  12. Krikkit

    Krikkit All glory to the hypnotoad! Super Moderator

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    I'm for smacking if it's a last resort to an unruly child; smacking them all the time simply will not do, but a good wallop for a skriking little turd who completely ignores his parents is perfectly acceptable to me. What we really need, rather than a ban on smacking, is a more equipped social services system to make sure there aren't as many horrifying cases of children being killed by their abusive parents.
     
  13. Mixx

    Mixx New Member

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    im 15 now and i got beat as a child. like if i did something bad but nothing other than that. and my parents only beat me as a last resort. first came talking, then yelling and finally a good ol slap in da face. if i did something REALLY bad my dad would kick me in the side. i still laugh at the fact that my mom threw coathangers at me if i was too far to hit while she was ironing the clothes lmao. but my parents dont beat me anymore, i guess its prolly just because im old enough to understand things now. but i say that ppl should smack their kids because i know some kids that are pretty f******* up and their parents dont beat them. so i think parents should beat their kids until about 10-12 years old just keep em in line. but thats ONLY if they need to....and not excessively either. my parents never abused me.....if i hadnt been smacked when i was younger i dont know what the hell id be doing right now. so ill beat my kids if they do something bad sure, but i wont abuse them. just a good slap to keep em in line
     
  14. MaplinMan

    MaplinMan New Member

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    yeh but if there is this psycho kid that needs a kicking then its probably BECAUSE of the parents...
    at least thats who i like to blame...
    my mum threw a knife at me once cos i used to annoy her when she was on the phone when i was young... i thought it was funny but erm theres a knife mark on the wall now (thanks to my quick dodge)
     
  15. djengiz

    djengiz Pointless.

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    Just as long as it is a last resort!
     
  16. MaplinMan

    MaplinMan New Member

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    i had to spank my kid today.

    my discipline list goes like this...

    1. ask
    2. tell
    3. warn
    4. spank
    5. force

    i just started it, but at least hes starting to learn that hes gonna do what i say no matter what, so he might as well save himself a spank and do it first time.
     
  17. epidemik

    epidemik New Member

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    When i was a child . I used to get smacked all the time .
    It teaches us as children NOT do it again.
    These days i see children who just get told off and they still don't obey there parents. It just teaches us to be better like if you do it again a second time you will know whats coming for you..


    b rad. :eeek:
     
  18. TekMonkey

    TekMonkey I enjoy cheese.

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    I don't condone "smacking" a child. Smacking just seems very extreme. Maybe lightly slapping a child on the hand or something when they're grabbing at things, but not smacking. I honestly don't think I could bring myself to strike a child of mine, if I have one, it just seems morally wrong in my head. :blah:
     
  19. SoylentGreen

    SoylentGreen New Member

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    i'm in high school, and TRUST me...a lot of people at my school need smackin. i get real pissed when whiny kids piss and moan about things that really aren't a problem at all. also, i'm tired of seeing kids throwing tantrums in stores and instead of their parents disciplining them, they submit to their kids' demands. the bottom line is this: if you smack a kid, you have to make sure it is different than how you would smack a grown person. also, if you do it too often, it just doesn't work. just remember, there's a good chance one day that kid will be bigger and stronger than you. i am case and point.
     
  20. Nexxo

    Nexxo Stopped treating this country as if it was his own

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    OK, here goes my two pence worth...

    In raising a child, more important than smacking is consistency. A child needs clear boundaries and attention.

    Small children have no sense of safety or of appropriate behaviour, and no self-regulation (i.e. making sense of one's own unpleasant feelings such as anger, fear, pain, tiredness; knowing how to contain them, comfort or resolve them and express them appropriately). They need the parents to maintain the boundaries, and help them learn to make sense of, and regulate their often volatile infant internal states. They need help to learn appropriate social behaviour, and to know what is safe and what is dangerous. They require attention and consistency.

    The problem with those eponimous screaming kids in supermarkets that people complain about is not that they haven't been smacked often enough, or hard enough, but that they have no consistent boundaries or attention. One moment they're running riot (internally and externally); the next mum or dad has enough and comes down on them. They don't know where they suddenly went wrong... There's no consistent warning, no structure, there's just chaos: running about and having your chain janked at random intervals for no apparent reason.

    Also when a child feels tired, fed up, miserable being trailed along the isles on its little legs, spending what seems like an eternity doing things that are totally uninteresting (from its own viewpoint --kids below 4-5 are too young to consider what other people might be thinking), it doesn't have the resources to just say: "Hey, mum, I'm getting tired and bored with all this. Let's go home, curl up on the settee with a cuppa and play on the X-Box", and appreciate that mum may need to do the shopping first (amongst others). It needs all these things sort of explaining.

    So whether to smack /not smack is beside the point. It's about whether it is applied appropriately as part of consistent boundary setting and rasing a child with attention.
     

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