Discussion in 'General' started by meandmymouth, 17 Sep 2011.
Sure, it's easier to say/type anyhow!
I've been kinda depressed lately too, mostly because of work, I'm doing way too many hours, but well I kinda want to do them, I have nothing else to do, right? I get money, it might help me in life, right? But my freetime is very limited, this week I had only this day (sunday) off from the work after six days of work, and before that I had very similiar week, and yeah I'm doing quite long days mostly (10hrs). And the work what I do is something what I don't enjoy too much, mostly because of the ammount of work I do, it's so huge compared to that what I get paid, this makes me feel uncomfortable, specialy when I get home from work.
But the freetime is one thing which makes me bit depressed too, I have nothing to do! Okay, I've planned few projects which I'm going to start (and hopefully finish), after I propably quit the current job (or ask very low hours = every second week work only) in about a month. Thou' after that I'm doing short 1-2month period other work with long hours too (tho' this time the wage is good and it's only short term so not too bad, just gettin som money to da bank!). So I hope that those projects I've planned give me something to do and keep me active so I don't just idle here. On other hand, as I'm soon turning only 21, I'm kinda lost, I don't know what I should do, go study? Find job which suits me (I've been thinking about day-trading and I'm going to give it a try actually! But if thats not going to work out?), I don't know what I should do, I've been trying to find different schools and find something what interests me, but no.. Something related to networks/servers is something I've been thinking lately but I dunno how long it will keep me interested/motivated trough the school, and as I make myself feel often that I suck at everything, I propably will suck on that too, somehow.
And as most of my friends live now in other cities as they are studying, I don't meet or hangout with them too often so I find myself sometimes kinda lonely, but thanks to todays technology I keep in touch with my friends, but that's somewhat just different than going to gym with them or whatever. And I'm not too heavy drinker (alcohol I mean) so I don't go out too much (and going out alone sounds kinda stupid too, right?). And just lurking around in the city dosen't seem too interesting so I stay at home most of time. I tend to photograph sometimes, and I've been more and more active on that actually after I had few years off from that hobby, good therapy for me, helps little bit atleast. But IMO I have problems to meet new people, okay well I've made some friends trough Internet, but they live in other cities or even in whole other continent, that's propably 'cos I'm very shy (always been) so I don't meet too many new people IRL. And I've been joking lately (few years) like; "Ugh.. Too social, must get out here", etc, but that seems to be more true than joke nowadays which is propably 'cos I've used to be alone or only with few friends, so seems like I don't feel comfortable to be on over social enviroment.
So as conclusion, I'm just crazy mad for myself as I just work my ass off, and when I have these one day offs, I'm too tired to do anything else than sit at the computer. I'm shy as hell which makes me hard to meet new people IRL, hell I don't even know how to make friends IRL anymore! And I don't know how I should continue my life as I'm bit "lost". But I've been thinking to move to another city, but that's not propably going to happen for a half a year atleast, but when I move, then I have my friends close to me and have chance to meet few friends over the internet more often, at least getting more active then, I hope. Just need to slow down with the work, and change job (Day trading propably), maybe things start to work out and I get more "light" in my life? Maybe these are just those dark-times of mine, feelin' depressed and so on, maybe it goes over with time, I hope.
Just hang on in there man. Been hit with slight amounts (although in retrospect it was a lack of perspective) and I can say that it works out for the best as long as you remain calm and logical about it.
Just make sure to breathe and relax. It worked for me.
It got to be better than calling you a wonker
Sorry I'll get my coat lol
Depression is often thought of as being "really sad", but I've always thought of it as being much closer to hopelessness. I have definitely dealt with long stints of depression several times in my life. It was extremely hard when I was a child as I had no mental tools to help fight it, and was too ashamed to discuss it with anyone. Now I am completely open about it and my struggles, which has greatly decreased its affect on me.
Talking to others about it is freeing, so I encourage you to continue to do so. As others have said there is no quick fix (ie snap out of it), but there are things you can do that will help you over time. Exercise of any sort will help your brain function better, as will eating healthy. Just about all people who are depressed will inevitably eat poorly, and do very little in terms of activity, so keep this in mind. Remind yourself that you have nothing to feel ashamed about, and take pride in the fact that you are working hard to make positive change in your life. Seemingly tiny and insignificant victories will add up and change your life for the better, so focus on steps instead of the big picture!
Breaking cycles will be very difficult (I still struggle with that) but they can be done one step at a time. Your mind and body have been conditioned over the years to find a sense of balance just to cope with your daily life. This means that you have to retrain your mind and body through repetitive positivity, even if you feel like you are lying to yourself at first.
Lastly, be social with friends. One of the causes/symptoms of my depression and that of many others is social anxiety. It's good to have a distraction or activity that allows you to forget all the stress, which seems to be computer related things for you. However, taken too far this will only serve to increase your depression as you will isolate yourself from others. I encourage you to take steps to be around friends more often over time. Knowing that you have the safety net of playing some pc games or something computer related when you have really anxious times can be liberating in itself. Just knowing you can fall back on that in a pinch will give you more confidence to push yourself out there further.
I've had and still do have my ups and my downs. The best thing I find to keep those downs to a minimum is to DO STUFF!
Obviously, everyone here likes their tech and while there's nothing wrong with that and gaming etc it isn't the most social of things to do so if you're feeling down you should try to do other things too.
I've been lucky that I have a friend who is very active and has always been a good all rounder when it comes to sports so he's gotten me into playing squash, badminton, bowling and I'm willing to try anything new.
I think this has a lot of benefits. For one it keeps you busy which is really important for keeping your mind off of anything which is bothering you. It's a great chance to socialise and meet new people.
As far as what you do it doesn't really matter. The important thing is that it's something to pass the time doing and that you enjoy yourself doing it.
Obviously, everyone is different so I'm just saying that this is what I feel helps me. I decided to deal with my problems myself but I can't say that there's no need to seek professional help. It's down to what you feel you need/want.
Oh and one last thing that helps me is listening to stuff like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSYtQy9EqTA (This video was posted up on some other thread on these forums and I love it so thumbs up to whoever it was). "It's not about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward".
Keep positive mate and as has been said there are people who care for you even if you don't realise it.
Depression wins if you do nothing about it.
Creating this thread was a big move, and I bet it's been a rewarding one.
I spent much of my childhood as a depressed kid, until I was lucky enough to make a couple of suportive friends, who encouraged and helped me to be more social, and couple of years later, it was like comparing being alive, to being a vegtable.
I've had the opportunity to give the same help to a couple of depressed people since, and some are still good friends... but you have to be carefull who you help, as sometimes it's worse than opening a can of worms, and you might really not like what you find in there
It would have been good if I had met a supportive person or two about a decade or so earlier, or if the internet and bit tech existed I mentioned working out earlier, which is great for a little extra self esteem, energy, etc, but I forgot to mention that I hadn't started working out until about a year after I had met my new supportive friends. Good friends are everything.
Truth be told, I wouldn't have been anywhere near as un-depressed if it wasn't for my few close friends.
I've got depression too. Had it for a few years now. It has eased off somewhat since I got a job. Nothing like a bit of human interaction to help. The core issues remain, however. I will deal with them when I am able. One thing at a time.
Depression can be a right bugger.
Depression is like a funnel, the deeper your depression the steeper the side are. get help before you can't climb out on your own. I didn't, and I'll never make that mistake again.
I had a run of bad luck, and slipped into depression a few years ago, quite deep. I ended up Schizoaffective, mood swings and a shifted perception of reality, in all honesty my perception of reality was so far of the scale I was quite mad.
Massive persecution complex, convinced everyone was watching me all the time, everything I did was monitored, every room had video cameras, every room was bugged, My family were not my family but imposters. Went on for a few years. The Irony was because I was being studied in minute detail I could not them let them know I knew I was being studied, otherwise the experiment would end and I would be disposed off. Went on for a few years in my own world of torment.
One day I got smashed and spilled my guts to someone, I cant even remember who. Once I said it out loud it was done. the next I went to see my doctor who put me onto medication. 3 months later I was ok. Been ok ever scince.
I talk about my feelings, my problems, my history. Everything. I hold nothing back. I have no secrets, as everything is out in the open it is dealt with, or at least acknowlendged. I'm quite a happy person now. I like who and what I am. The bout of depression is part of me and made me who I am.
All the time I am aware of the danger of slipping into depression, and next time at the first sign of any problem I will seek help from family, freinds, medical proffesionalls, forums : Anyone.
I don't want to go there again.
It could've been worse, I could have typoed the o in my username for an a...
Been feeling pretty rubbish myself recently, I have a history of depression although most of the time I'd rather not admit it, for me anxiety leads to depression leads to anxiety. I have a lot of friends but none that would really understand I don't think, plenty that would tell me to stop moaning and get on with it. To be honest the facade has become such a part of me now I have trouble understanding where it begins and my "real" personality ends.
So I've decided to try CBT, its gotta be better that feeling like crap for no particular reason that I can see, and turning to drink and drugs for help sleeping etc. I've found a clinic and I plan to phone them up tomorrow, the hardest part is accepting that I am actually depressed to a level that requires treatment but then I guess I've been "treating" myself for years, and not in constructive ways either. Truth is I don't know where this feeling in the pit of my stomach comes from but I know I've been living with it too long, time to sort it out.
I'm fortunate in that I only get the blues from time to time and it doesn't last too long. It usually hits when I'm doing a monotonous job at work and my mind wanders - sometimes to happy thoughts, sometimes to worry. I do tend to suffer from anxiety a bit too often for my liking. It can grip very tightly so I've learnt to quickly divert my attention which always clears my mind of the anxiety.
My wife is currently suffering from depression, it's lasted a few months now. She has her ups and downs that's for sure. It's a combination of working somewhere where she's treated like ****, singled out, nobody talks to her, they only pass mocking glances and medication that she's taking as she suffers from fibromyalgia, which is a hidden condition whereby the muscle nerves are sent messages from the brain saying they are in pain when they're clearly not - it's very debilitating and other sufferers she's met remark on how she still manages to hold her job. Again, there are good days and bad. It doesn't help that she also suffers from infrequent migraines but when they hit it's a day off work to recover.
The best treatment she's had, and tbh I thought it was a load of wierd voodoo tripe, but a combination of tai chi and shiatsu treatments have lifted her mood considerably, with the added effect of nearly clearing the pain of fibromyalgia. There's the odd twinge but nothing like it has been.
Don't make the mistake of thinking new shiny material possessions cure your mood. They do offer a distraction and you do feel happy for a while but it isn't a cure. Take up a hobby, be brave and get out of the house - it's surprising what a lungfull of fresh air does to you. Meet new people, there's millions of them to choose from and sure, there's some bad eggs but there's some bloody saints out there too - to tar with the same brush is leading a blinkered life.
I am 100% with nexxo on this.
See someone. Preferably a Psychologist, and not a Psychiatrist.
The difference (around here at least, but can't see it being too different there) is that a Psychologist has studied Psychology. A Psychiatrist studied Medicine, and then had Psychology modules.
As a consequence, a lot of psychiatrist prescribe pills to make you feel better. A Psychologist ont he other hand is more likely to sit with you and, as Nexxo so aptly put it, reach in from the outside, interrupt the cycle and try to work your way out of it WITH YOU.
The With you bit is important. Nothing is going to make you feel better without your full commitment to feeling better. A Psychologist can help if you let him/her, and if you work along with them, not expect them to magic bullet all the bad feelings away (not that that's what I am saying you're doing).
From my amateur understanding of Psychology (the missus of mine is a Psychological counsellor, psychologist in 2013, hopefully - I am a programmer...), it's a bit like goign to the gym... jsut going there won't do any good... you need to work at it over time, and over time, things can gradually get better.
Everyone has been posting very good points but from my own viewpoint and experience i cannot stress this tiny point enough. Make sure too that it's not just 'outside' try your best to make it somewhere away from the general hubbub of daily life. It really does help me a lot (admittedly I suffer with anxiety which is slightly different but I feel that they're comparable).
There's so many little things which never sound like they would make a difference but they do. Laugh every day is another one, even if you have to sit in front of youtube surfing old comedy shows you've seen a thousand times; if it can make you laugh out loud with proper guffaws then it's worth it.
Yes I may have a slightly hippy outlook on these things but they work for me and might work for you.
Best of luck with it dude and never ever think you're alone.
I've been suffering with depression for the last 12 years. I have a tendency to be feeling absolutely amazing like everything in the world is good and then I just seem to switch over. It's always like that aswell I never seem to have any middle ground I'm either feeling absolutely amazing or everything seems utterly hopeless.
The one gf I've ever told ended up having a go at me everytime I was having a sh*tty period as if I was weak and should "just sort it out" so I've never told any since. If I'm having a bad day I just tell people I woke up in a bad mood and quickly change the subject.
Whenever I drop I phone up a few of my close mates, we go out, get plastered and I always feel better afterwards. At one time or another everyone that knows has told me to go and get some meds as if it's a miracle cure. When I was on them I found that I was always on one level, I didn't get the low's but I also didn't get the high's and the high's are the only thing that that I keep fighting for.
I've been reading all of the posts and I think the only thing mentioned that I haven't tried is going to see a Psychologist. I've found that as long as I keep my mind busy and I have my mates to call on when i need them it's just bearable.
Anyway, just thought I would put this here to offer another viewpoint/experience to the mix.
Im not going to even pretend im in the same situation but i find this is the best way as many may know (and hate) im an avid user of the "Whats ruining your life thread?" i find just letting it out is the best way, alot of people recommended to me to write a letter and simply burn it after, but i never found that achieved anything because i was only letting out to myself.
There have been many occasion i have been at my limit, i spent my childhood being the quiet guy i was never picked on (only the minor teasing from friends occasionally) and never really fit within any social circles simply wondered between, never made any new friends and watched them move onto different groups of friends, it did'nt bother me alot but i was frustrated i was'nt that socially enabled i guess.
My Job and education are causing me the most frustration atm , if its not abuse from my boss after we all bust are ass or failing to answer a simple question at college i just sat there in blind panic realizing im so far out of my depth, the only comfort being im only just above someone elses knowledge
I realize i probebly should'nt be on the course but the remaining modules im doing fine in its just the electronics with that particular guy he is nice but probebly not approachable in the way that "im struggling to understand basic knowledge i should" kind of way... i may go see him and tell him about it though just say how its taking me longer to grasp it
I found like someone said going outside for atleast an hour a day is crucial just to gather your thoughts and for fresh air i spend atleast an hour outside a day everyday its became habit no matter the weather.
Like logonui i have then tendancy to feel amazing like my life is great one day and the next im finding it hard to find a good reason to get out of bed in the morning
1. Exercise often and regularly.
2. Eat well.
3. Get lots and lots of sunshine, and get outdoors.
4. Sleep regularly and get plenty of it.
5. Go see a Psychologist.
Chances are, you aren't doing enough of the first 4 and they are vital to balancing the ups and downs on a daily basis. #5 is important in the long run, but the first 4 can often help more then people think.
I recommend a cat.
I had all kinds of personal issues as a child/teenager and my pet cat always distracted me enough to keep me level.
I know this may of course be impractical but it's something to remember. In the meantime you definitely need to see a psychologist, they should be able to help. You should really talk to someone your age as well, get out and meet new people.
Separate names with a comma.