Discussion in 'General' started by DeadP1xels, 11 Jan 2011.
But she has a boyfriend
So you asked then ????
picking up girls 101:
Just talk. Don't think about it, just go. Everyone gets Approach anxiety. The less time you spend thinking about it, the harder it gets.
Also note that while I understand you asking for help/advice here, you ARE effectively increasing the attraction you are feeling towards her by thinking about her more and more. This is bad, because it makes the fall worse (if it happens).
Really, dude. Make the move. Just take her for coffee or something.
Hell, the potential boyfirend tension could be the best thing since sliced bread to get her to open up to you: "Couldn't help noticing sh*t seems weird between you and <douchebag>... wanna talk abotu it".
The risk you're running with that is being friendzoned.
Just go and take her out... awkward silences? No proble: "Why so quiet/serious?", "What's up?", "Anything on your mind?"
she says no, you at least know... can't lose by not playing, but can't win either.
Well i found out....
Whether its true or not i have no idea but i can tell for a fact if it is then there is no point even making a fool of myself trying
@BenAnat - I guess but its just so difficult to talk to her like that we just joke around and if i started getting all serious and deep with her she might just run a mile
Im going to speak with her but as i said im certain im going to make a fool out of myself heck i would'nt have given a **** if she did'nt i would have just said it and moved on
But with that twatsack there he's the kind of guy that likes to start fights and however much i would love to break his jaw its not going to make anything better between us
i waited til the douche ****ed things up, and now i am still waiting. it is better to tell her sooner than later. that way, she may realize that you are better for her than the douche, and go with you before she gets hurt by him and gives you an answer like "it's too early for me to go into another relationship."
like i said. grow a pair and tell her how you feel.
You know what the lesson is here?
3 weeks is way too long to wait!
stick to the original plan.
I reckon experiences vary on this, but I wouldn't go"hey... wanna be my girl"... i'd tell her to come along while you grab something to drink or something.
Really, allow me to paint worst case:
You ask her if she wants to grab something to eat/drink. She says no. You walk it off. At least you then know.
She's NOT going to go "OMGWTFN00b I have a boyfriend, am gonna tell him and he's gonna kick your ass".
You're just being friendly to her, and not going "I love you with all my heart and want to make little p1xel babies with you."
Be prepared for a no, (and a yes), so you can walk it off if it comes. If it doesn't come, then pretend you were expecting that.
AFTER yous started dating, you can be cute and tell her how hard it was for you... before that you're likely to send her running.
Remember - she likes you generally already.
That means you have a shot. She's not going "OMG.. pixels is disgusting..."
EDIT 2: Someone's so gonna "fix" that "...how hard it was for you" bit...
Edit: If she does the whole OMGWTFBBQSAUCE thing (for no reason), then she's a b*tchtroll anyway, and you're better off without. But I am sure she isn't gonna do that.
the lesson here is, in my case, however great ***** is... you do not want to be one.
I've had to learn that as well, once...
There's a rule I follow when chatting up womenfolk in bars/clubs (yes, I am in a committed relationship. The missus is writing a thesis on the subject, and I am allowed to get up to a point by her, and even encouraged, as she likes to observe how people react - and I am stupid enough to try various things that other people don't): 10 seconds. If you haven't approached within 10 seconds, you spent too much time thinking about it, get nervous (though this is practice) ,and quickly end up in "crap-now-i-started-talking-and-have-nothing-to-talk-about-10-seconds-in"-ville.
That's fine, let him start the fight... then you finish it... >.< Bentant has the best advice here, have plan stick to plan. HOWEVER if the dude kicks off at you, a nice friendly "Who are you? oh your that reject..." and turn your back on him, if he hits you now, he shows you nicely that he's a coward and you can go to town on his face with your boots. If he doesn't it shows that you're on a ground he couldn't climb with a jetpack.
Pixels, be straight with her. You might be pleasantly surprised.
Automags, you are flogging a dead horse - trust me, I wrote the book. She already knows how you feel (women are clever like that) and she is loving that you're around as a friend, but she's using you, even if it may be unintentional. MTFU and just ask her out. Be prepared to lose the friendship, it's the only way to end the torture. I suspect however, that she doesn't see you like that.
Ask a bloke if he'd have sex with any of his female friends and chances are he would if they were into it and they were attractive.
Ask a woman the same question and the answer is invariable something like "No way! I just don't see him/them like that." Women are far pickier over who they choose to shag because of evolutionary biology. The behaviours they look for in a mate are very specific and being president of the friendzone is not one of them.
Harsh but true.
I want updates on my desk by 0900 tomorrow.
Sir... have some rep for dousing my work keyboard in coffee and my colleagues trying to find out what I'm laughing at, because it's so damn true.
Granted I wouldn't sleep with many of my female mates... I'm far to, I'm a Space Marine shut up *hits with hammer*
I don't see her until 2 weeks now
As i said before i could pop in before but its not going to give us an indepth conversation
However my new plan (THAT IM GOING TO STICK TO THIS TIME) Is to go in on the friday before and come in slightly early
She finishes at 5pm and works in the staff canteen that day i start at 5pm so i can wait in there till its time to clock in for my shift
This week (when she caught me off guard) she was working there aswell and was just hanging around for 10minutes because they're never busy, With any luck she will be there and i can get her over to talk.
As for the big dude it would give me great pleasure messing him up i've heard alot of **** from people about him how he cheats and stuff
Remeber - I consider her a friend so that gives me a nice excuse if anything happens
In my experience women are less picky about who they sleep with but more picky about who to be friends with! Tell her how you feel if she feels the same, great. If she doesn't and she is a good friend to you then nothing changes. If you lose her as a friend cos she just isn't into you like that, then she wasn't a friend worth keeping. A true friend will stick by you no matter what.
Is his name Mike?
Regardless, for all we know he has his tongue or who knows what else in her holiest of holes right now, time to move on dude, there are other women in the world Next one you see, talk to them, have some fun, invite them along somewhere
That's what people do! They don't just sit around waiting their whole life for mrs perfect to magically come along, they talk to anyone they like the look of, and go out with anyone they get along with.
Cutting edge stuff I know, this is a tech website.
Why, thank you! Just trying to help
You don't need an in-depth conversation. When you see her just give a generic greeting, ask how she is and see if she wants to go for lunch or whatever. Fairly simple.
Disclaimer: Just ****ing ask her.
Will update if anything goes well in the next few weeks
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