Films The Official bit-tech Movie Thread - What have you seen lately?

Just watched the live action how to train your dragon.. its an almost 1to1 of the orginal film... soo begs the question of why!

Its good film i enjoyed it but i really the orginal so is a hard one to say if the films good as ita just the same film

 

Novocaine (Sky) - 1/10
I don't know why I sat through the entirety of this. Boring, mostly predictable, no eye candy. Hughie from The Boys played his part well (in fact, there wasn't any particularly bad acting, it was just a dull film) but I think it thought it was funnier than it was. I'd rather watch something like Den of Thieves if we're going bank robbery. It gets a single point for reminding me I need to go back to gaming, read my books and spend less of what little time I have left watching dross.
Be firm! If it's cack after half an hour, turn it off!

 

Good Boy (Cinema) - 8.5 -> 7/10
A horror film with the dog as the main hero definitely has something new. And the dog in frame certainly deserves some form of award for his on-cue behaviour. How the hell they managed to get him to behave and act on demand like that is a mystery (although probably also resulted in miles of tape on the cutting room floor, to use a cliché). Anyway, starts slow and builds nicely, with some proper chills, which accounts for the 8.5. However, the ending felt rushed and not very clear so the very last part of the film gets a 7.

 

Dirty Angels (Amazon) - Just Don't/10
Eva Green in another "blockbuster". Crap CGI, generic story, some decent acting but also some descent of acting, no idea who stumped up for this to be made. Did the job on the treadmill, but I'd really be looking elsewhere to spend your life minutes.

 

ok but "dog is the protagonist of a horror movie" is the most excited this thread has gotten me for anything in a long while, and that's on my list now

 

Ha! Same.
He was a very good boy indeed.
Just don't blame the ending on him.

 

Midway 2019 https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6924650/

A very very pale and poor imitation of the original flick https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074899/?ref_=fn_all_ttl_2

 

All quiet on the western front (netflix version)

A compelling movie that made me question my own mortality and whether I would have been half as brave in the hopeless situation that the soldiers were in. A tough watch but a worth while reminder of the futality and brutality of war.

 

Yeah, fully agree. Grim stuff.
I got my eldest to watch it, to better understand things (and me, whenever I'm going on about the same).

Also watched Black Bag (Sky) 6/10.
This could have been better - it started out well if a little slow, looked as if it was going to get all twisty-turny duplicitous, then just...... finished. Oh, okay. We're done, are we? Bed then.

 

Witch Hunter (Amazon Prime) - 6(th Form film project)/10
To be clear, that score was just me being hilars. This is actually a 1, which it gets purely for amusement's sake - Game of Thrones this is not. Bizarrely, the monsters aren't the worst of the CGI. The spider web is a particular highlight. The actors do their best, but it's almost like the camera has a "make it look amateur" filter on the lens. And there's a great scene towards the end (inside a castle with the king and a dragon) that looks like it's either straight from the set of Knightmare, or filmed in front of a painted stage backdrop. The fighting is brilliantly appalling in so far as you never actually see any blows land, the script was written by those monkeys that knock out the text of Hamlet in the famous cliché and the actual plot was, I believe, cobbled together by my kids one evening.

I would dearly love to have sat in on the whole process that resulted in this film being budgeted and made.

EDIT: Black Hills (Amazon Prime) - 1/10
At least I know where my Prime fees are going now. This must have been written (or at least commissioned) by the same people as Witch Hunter. Maybe these films are all an elaborate money-laundering scheme? Made it about 12 minutes in before deciding life is too short. The guy's prison cell is made out of a blanket stapled to something, FFS. Not exactly supermax stuff.

It earns a point for featuring perhaps the most audacious eyebrows in film history (outside of Dodgeball). I hope these are natural, rather than a creative decision, otherwise I have no words:



These two productions have actually got me wondering whether AI has advanced to the point now where it can actually make a film and release it.

 

Well, the US president seems to think so. Judging by the little wonder he posted on social media recently: himself, wearing a crown while sat in the cockpit of an F14 Tomcat with “KING TRUMP” emblazoned down the side, flying over protestors and dumping implausibly large volumes of what we’re probably supposed to assume is human diarrhoea over the crowds. The most ridiculous part of all being the fact that he thinks he’d even fit in the cockpit of an F14…

But still. Even that garbage AI slop, whose creation required consuming incalculable amounts of electrical power and draining nearby lakes & rivers, sounds like it was a more “worthwhile” watch than these two films.

 

That's no F14, it's another AI invention, there are elements of the F14, F15 and F16 at least.

 

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t really looking at the actual aircraft features in great detail, most of my attention was focused on trying not to be physically ill at the fact one of the two most powerful men in the world is using one of the most immoral technologies we’ve ever created in order to publicly fantasise about being a king who dumps shite on people. I saw what looked like F14 swing wings & engine intakes and the “call sign”, and that was about it!

Not that I’d recognise the differences anyway, I’m much more familiar with UK military aircraft than those of the US .

 

I hadn't seen it until your post and thought I'd go and look, from a mental health point of view life is so much better when you ignore these people.

 

Oh my, they are quite something. I can't stop looking. They seem to grow larger with each passing second.

 

If you stare at the bridge of his nose, just between the eyes, they actually start moving.

 

Jurassic World: Rebirth https://www.imdb.com/title/tt31036941/

It's actually not terrible, nothing new, no surprises, same old format and cliches, some nice nods back to the original film, a solid wet Sunday afternoon film.

 

Chainsaw Man - Reze Arc (Cinema) - ?/10
No idea how to rate this. It's the archetypal semi-opaque acid-infused delirium, but made all the more betterer with the inclusion of possibly the most violent implementation of 4DX chair abuse I've ever been subjected to. I understood what was going on, but not why and had my firm belief in never trusting a chick with green eyes substantiated. I suppose if this is your thing, then there you go. If you're invested in the IP, then you won't be disappointed. If you're just green-eye curious, maybe wait till video.

 

A House of Dynamite - Wikipedia
Really enjoyed it.
Potential end of days nuclear thriller.
On Netflix.

 

Rebecca Ferguson innit, that pretty much guarantees that I'll give it a watch.