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Urgent festive vulgarity assistance required!

Discussion in 'General' started by Emzay, 13 Dec 2007.

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  1. Emzay

    Emzay "He's doing a poo!"

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    Hello, long time no see and all that jazz!

    Anyhoo, tomorrow it's our student unions end of term party, 18 hrs of drinking and generally a messy one. I'm bar staff and we get to cut up and scrawl on our bar shirts for the occasion, but i'm stumped for something to write on the back of mine.

    I'm wanting something festive yet vulgar. Not too vulgar tho, just a slight hint of filth (so no swearies if possible).

    EG: 'Stuff my turkey', 'I trimmed my tree just for you', 'Santa comes UP my chimney' etc etc.

    Any suggestions welcome! :hehe:
     
    Emzay, 13 Dec 2007
    #1
  2. Rebourne

    Rebourne What's a Dremel?

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    Hmmmm... how about "I put ruffies in your drink!" and then just wear a Santa hat. Probably one of the most disturbing things you could see on a bartenders shirt.
     
    Rebourne, 13 Dec 2007
    #2
  3. profqwerty

    profqwerty What's a Dremel?

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    freshly squeezed?
     
    profqwerty, 13 Dec 2007
    #3
  4. will.

    will. A motorbike of jealousy!

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    Let's put the mistletoe on the floor and see what happens!

    (my brain works in very strange ways...)
     
    will., 13 Dec 2007
    #4
  5. KayinBlack

    KayinBlack Unrepentant Savage

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    I'm wearing mistletoe. Come find it...
     
    KayinBlack, 13 Dec 2007
    #5
  6. woof82

    woof82 What's a Dremel?

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    Breast or thigh?
     
    woof82, 14 Dec 2007
    #6
  7. will.

    will. A motorbike of jealousy!

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    Cock or ball!
     
    will., 14 Dec 2007
    #7
  8. The cheapskate

    The cheapskate One custom title before Matty

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    Santa came inside me?
     
    The cheapskate, 14 Dec 2007
    #8
  9. Bungle

    Bungle Rainbow Warrior

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    Maybe too late but how about
    "Remove shirt to reveal a pair of crackers":naughty:
     
    Bungle, 14 Dec 2007
    #9
  10. will.

    will. A motorbike of jealousy!

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    Tug
    here
    and
    I'll
    go
    pop!
    l
    \/​
     
    will., 14 Dec 2007
    #10
  11. E.E.L. Ambiense

    E.E.L. Ambiense Acrylic Heretic

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    Wanna taste MY eggnog?
     
    E.E.L. Ambiense, 14 Dec 2007
    #11
  12. Slink

    Slink B7

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    "eat sh** and die in a fire. Whoops I ment Merry Christmas"
     
    Slink, 14 Dec 2007
    #12
  13. Cabe

    Cabe What's a Dremel?

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    "By reading this you agree to sleep with me"
     
    Cabe, 14 Dec 2007
    #13
  14. Gravemind123

    Gravemind123 avatar not found

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    "Come sit on Santa's lap and you'll get a present"
     
    Gravemind123, 14 Dec 2007
    #14
  15. Lovah

    Lovah Apple and Canon fanboy

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    I love my men big, fat, grey and they have to go cheer about HO's.
     
    Lovah, 15 Dec 2007
    #15
  16. ozstrike

    ozstrike yip yip yip yip

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    Guess where MY mistletoe is?
     
    ozstrike, 15 Dec 2007
    #16
  17. Colossous

    Colossous Minimodder

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    I like cream on my pudding !!
     
    Colossous, 15 Dec 2007
    #17
  18. CardJoe

    CardJoe Freelance Journalist

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    "I was violated by Relix Santa your mum"

    ...what?
     
    CardJoe, 15 Dec 2007
    #18
  19. will.

    will. A motorbike of jealousy!

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    A selection that The Todd might come up with:

    You can mince my pies any time!

    Can I stuff your turkey?

    This might be Christmas, but my icing is fresh!

    Christmas Lawsuit high five! Who's with me!
     
    will., 15 Dec 2007
    #19
  20. mookboy

    mookboy BRAAAAAAP

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    Sit on my knee and I'll show you what's in my sack.
     
    mookboy, 15 Dec 2007
    #20
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