Warner Bros. set to ruin Akira

That just doesn't make sense to me, personally. Judging things on their own merits makes life a lot simpler. Most bands release 'that difficult third album' that generally sucks balls, but it doesn't change their previous stuff. Same thing. Do you not watch old episodes of The Simpsons anymore because the new ones are so painfully mediocre?

And I'd guess American, because that idea does sound trite and horrible.

 

The sums it up perfectly

 

I'm guessing that the characters will be American.

The lead will be Keanu Reeves, woodenly "acting" (in the loosest sense) his way through the film with the puzzled look of someone experiencing major deja-vu. There will be a Japanese Sensei of sorts, obviously cast for his resemblance to "Mako" Makoto Iwamatsu, looking all mysterious and exasperated with Keanu's youthful impetuousness; there will be some skinny woman (Jessica Biel, trying to look as tough as Hilary Swank) with mad binking skillz and some karate moves, who despite being a hard-ass who can hold her own with the biker gang boys obviously still finds time to put conditioner in her hair and slap on some judicious make-up, and we'll sit through the movie wondering why they didn't just plump for Jessica Alba, Lucy Liu or Milla Yoyovitch. And anybody, anybody but Keanu Reeves.

There will be an evil corporate boss played by Alan Dale, his mad scientist henchman played by Brad Douriff, and assorted military baddies and sets recycled straight from the Resident Evil films. There will be losts of bike chases courtesy of director Justin Lin (Fast and Furious) or Rob Cohen (Stealth), and some pseudo-mystical bullcrap about life forces, genetic mutants with special powers and cosmic balances and a salutory lesson on how ordinary humanity shouldn't mess with such stuff that they do not understand. It'll be like X-Men, but with motorbikes. Or is that The Matrix, but with motorbikes? Or is that Torque but with karate-kicking mutants? Or is it simply Dark Angel with noodles?

Whatever, it will have been done before, and much, much better.

 

No.. just no.

+1 to whatever number we're on ATM.

Appleseed to my mind will always be animated. For a live-action film, the Landmates are going to be fun! How in the hell are they going to have Deunan climbing into a Landmate convincingly enough to make me believe its real? And attacking the Mobile Fortresses, that'll be a laugh and 7/8ths! In my mind, if its animated originally, it should stay that way. I mean I still refuse to watch the new Transformers movie - "Step away from my childhood memories Michael Bay!"

Akira is one of the many pieces of manga I have yet to look at, so I can't comment on whether animated/live-action versions will be pants or not, but its safe to assume it will plunge to Eragon-esque levels of crap if they want to "fast-track" it to 2009, means that there probably wont be quite as much details in the film as there are in the books. Also, the change of location thing bugs me. If you're going to make a live-action version of a manga series, then you should at least stick as closely to the book as you possibly can.

/rant.

Joe

 

next stop, ghost in the shell