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Other What's ruining your life right now?

Discussion in 'General' started by TheMusician, 28 Oct 2009.

  1. DeadP1xels

    DeadP1xels Social distancing since 92

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    Back to my roots.

    Just getting by, we pay our bills on a monthly basis, we never miss them thankfully, and maybe I should be thankful for the roof above my head. I say I eat at work to save using from the fridge, Why waste it on me when that would make a perfectly good meal in the evening. I sit at work with people talking about holidays, extensions and cars when in reality I'm avoiding eating to stretch our food shop half a day longer. My pay is healthy... its good but times have been tough and we're still paying for that. Health issues have done a real number on us and at times I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above the water, Its only when my partner is at work and my son is in bed I feel like I can take the mask off and let reality sink in, prior to that I'm sat with this porcelain smile hoping she doesn't see through. Looking at the bills and regrouping every... single... night.

    We should be thriving when we're surviving, I really want to get out from this spiral now, I'm floundering, I'm tired of being hungry, I'm just tired in general... I need a good nights sleep and I just can't get it...

    I tell myself its just temporary but its trying, somedays are easier than the rest. Today has been an absolute arse

    I just need a vent...
     
  2. The_Crapman

    The_Crapman Don't phone it's just for fun.

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    You get free coffee at work and they get the milk in? If so try porridge. You can get a big bag of porridge oats for next to nothing, use the coffee milk, couple of mins in the microwave and add a spoon of golden syrup. Will fill you up really well keep you going till tea, with a bit of sugar for immediate pick-me-up. Or try saving a bit of your tea for lunch the next day. I've started using smaller bowls than the big pasta ones we usually do and still feel just as full, allowing me to save some to take to work.
     
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  3. Almightyrastus

    Almightyrastus Rule #9

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    I hear you on this so clearly. Between my wife and I we make a decent wage (around £57k a year total), but due to her being out of work for a year (health stuff meant that the company paid her off to resign rather than fire her), we are still struggling HARD to manage paycheck to paycheck as things were set in place before all that happened (and during it) that we are still committed to.

    My wife still has health problems (fibromyalgia, thyroid, other pain stuff, and so on) so me being down about stuff is not what she needs to deal with on top of that, I need to be looking after her so yeah, the whole porcelain smile thing sounds only too familiar.

    I got a cheque through the other day for some over-payment on my student loan that was all going to getting my PC back up and working (need a new board, CPU, and memory), but that's not gonna happen now as the funds need to go on a loan payment. So I guess no working PC for another few months, I'll have to stick to an IPad and my phone for a while yet.

    :(
     
  4. BentAnat

    BentAnat Software Dev

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    I've been where you are. And chances are I'll be there again sometime (career change in the future and such).
    I'll say it gets better (it did, for me at least, with iron discipline for almost 5 years), but that doesn't make it any easier. You have my empathy in this.
     
  5. legoman

    legoman breaker of things

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    Free milk? I'm sure where I am they would charge you for air if they could.
     
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  6. MLyons

    MLyons Half dev, Half doge. Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    I might come across as an ass here but I'm legitimately trying to help. For Nottingham that seems like a high income. What are you committed to that you have to pay? I live with my mum and combined we make about a third of that and we look after a 6 year old and we do fine. Have you wrote out all your income and outgoing in an excel sheet? I feel like there must be areas you can cut back on.
     
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  7. Almightyrastus

    Almightyrastus Rule #9

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    The biggest problem that we are having is the continuing commitments such as the car payments, credit cards, and loan payments that were either set up before my wife was out of work for a year or are high as a result of that period. We manage with the bills and stuff but it leaves very very little afterwards. We will get things sorted out, it's just going to take some time.

    In the mean time, we have very little in case of things like my PC dying or should we have other problems that will cost to fix.

    I have a load of bits and pieces of things like my model collection plus the possibility of some of my knife collection (both built up well before all of this, I hasten to add...) that I can look into selling. I REALLY don't want to, but I may have to.
     
  8. Gareth Halfacree

    Gareth Halfacree WIIGII! Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    I think you may have skipped the following:
    In other words, their combined salaries are ~£60k, but for a full year they only had one salary. When you're used to £60k and suddenly have half that, you end up putting stuff on cards and taking out loans to maintain your lifestyle (no judgement, I'm not talking about Faberge eggs and Dom Perignon baths here, I'm talking about the fact that the mortgage you could easily afford on £60k becomes a stretch on £30k, as does the car loan, that loan you took out to redo the driveway, even stuff like your daily commute). When you're back up at £60k, which was fine before, you're still struggling to keep your head above water 'cos you've got all the expenses you had when you were originally on £60k plus you're paying back all the loans from the Annus Horribilis.
    A family of three on £20k Dahn Sarf is pretty close to the breadline; I assume that there are All the Benefits involved (again, no judgement, that's what they're for), for which someone who was earning a decent salary and who 'voluntarily' left their position may not qualify.
     
  9. bawjaws

    bawjaws Well-Known Member

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    @MLyons , I don't know what @Almightyrastus situation is, but it's quite possible to have a good income and still be struggling to make ends meet if you are saddled with historical debt to service. If you've accrued a hefty debt (for whatever reasons) then you can be paying out a lot of money a month just covering the interest, let alone reducing the amount you owe. Income on its own is relatively meaningless.
     
  10. MLyons

    MLyons Half dev, Half doge. Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    I suppose it's the whole debt thing I struggle with. It's happened with mates to be fair. One took out a 10k loan to buy a car when he was 19 on around 16k a year. Another was making 22k a year yet still had less money than me at the end of the month, he then lost his job and was nearly homeless and ended up selling everything just to stay in his house. He was then told he owed them £7k in unpaid bills. I was always taught at a young age to not go into debt and save. We don't even use debit cards.
    Hadn't thought about this. They do help. Still seems a piss take when they offer her a £1 a week raise after 15 years service.
     
  11. Gareth Halfacree

    Gareth Halfacree WIIGII! Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    I assume you mean credit cards (which let you buy on credit, i.e. a loan) as opposed to debit cards (which simply debit the money from your bank balance, and are functionally equivalent to cash but harder to snort coke through. Err, so I hear, officer.)
    Since going freelance, I have literally never had a 'raise'. Not once. I did get more money out of this place once, but only because I went from two stories a day to three - and even then it worked out to a reduction per-article. I've even lost clients 'cos their budget has plummeted, in some cases to the point where I'd be doing the same or more work for less than half the original fee.
     
  12. MLyons

    MLyons Half dev, Half doge. Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    I did indeed. They are great for ma... No I fancy keeping my job.
    This is a 24/7 job looking after kids. No weekends, no sickpay, no holidays yet gets payed less than me, an apprentice. Love our government bean counters.
     
  13. Gareth Halfacree

    Gareth Halfacree WIIGII! Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    Pro Tip: Get a credit card (hell, get that one Amazon offers, and you'll get a £20 voucher to spend.) Buy a couple of things on it - things you'd buy anyway, food shopping, petrol, whatever - each month. Pay it off in full before the statement date each month.

    Reason the First: It builds a credit history, so when you actually need credit - like a car loan or a mortgage - you won't get refused on the grounds of no history.

    Reason the Second: Some credit cards offer points or cash back, and if you're paying the balance off each month (and assuming you haven't gone for a card with a monthly fee) these are free money.

    Reason the Third: Next time you buy something worth more than £100, doing so on the credit card gets you Consumer Credit Act Section 75 protection: if it doesn't turn up, is faulty, or there's something else wrong, your credit card provider is on the hook. Take Caselabs' recent demise: if you ordered a case that you're now not going to get, you'll be out of pocket if you paid on a debit card; if you paid on a credit card, even partially, you'll get a full refund.

    Take it from someone who has been in debt twice in his life (mortgage and car loan): credit cards, used properly, are most definitely your friends.
     
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  14. GeorgeStorm

    GeorgeStorm Aggressive PC Builder

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    Credit cards are fine as long as you have the self control to go along with them :p

    As Gareth said, they have multiple benefits and no real downside as long as you're sensible.
     
  15. Almightyrastus

    Almightyrastus Rule #9

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    Spot on. Before all that happened we managed very well and we would have sufficient to eat out a couple of times a week of we wanted, I spent a little over £1200 on my last big PC rebuild, we managed a 2 week holiday to Japan, bought a house, sorted out a decent car, then my wife fell down some stairs and tore a tendon in her foot. That put her out of work for well over a month and a half which coupled with her other short periods of sickness, meant that the company she worked for paid her off.

    We have managed to reduce outgoings quite a bit since she got back into work, the time she was out taught us a lot about that, but the measures that we had to take during that time have made things very difficult now, even though we are back up to the same income as before.
     
  16. Wakka

    Wakka Yo, eat this, ya?

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    I can empathise with @Almightyrastus - My wife has essentially only worked part-time since finishing her last job in January (partly due to a horrible 1st trimester, partly due to not being able to find a suitable full time role), so for pretty much the whole year so far I have been covering the entirety of the rent, house bills and general expenses (including putting fuel in her car as and when needed, doing the food shopping etc). My salary doesn't cover that kind of monthly expenditure, so I have been relying on credit cards for "emergency spending", usually just in the last week of the month when i'm running low.

    But as Gareth and George say, be smart with credit cards and they can be a lifesaver without crippling you for years to come. Because I always pay above the minimum (even if I did put more on there during the month than that), the 2 card providers I have regularly send me 0% balance transfer offers (literally every couple of months), so I have been able to keep 90% of my CC debt in control and not fall into the trap of "pay £50 off, get charged £35 interest".

    It's not been the easiest year, especially knowing a baby is due in December, but it's a situation that has taught us to be better with money - And one we know will get better once we're both earning again.
     
  17. liratheal

    liratheal Sharing is Caring

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    I feel dirty. Having always been, and always likely to be, an AMD/ATi user - I just applied for a job at nVidia.
     
  18. adidan

    adidan Guesswork is still work

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    Keep your friends close....

    Hope they don't do a background search on your username, not sure 'dirty' fits with their PR :)
     
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  19. liratheal

    liratheal Sharing is Caring

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    Different usernames all over the place! The email address I applied with is one of my other usernames.

    Tbh, there's not much chance of me getting it, so I'm not overly guarded about it all.
     
  20. MLyons

    MLyons Half dev, Half doge. Staff Administrator Super Moderator Moderator

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    I've always said only Intel, AMD and Nvidia or maybe something like GCHQ or Google would pull me away from working here. Good luck.
     
    Last edited: 22 Aug 2018

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