Other What's ruining your life right now?

Turned out one of the people involved wasn't okay with polyamory despite putting up an opposite show. Bottled up and bad things happened today

 

Sounds like you might have been a cataclyst, but if one half's saying one thing while feeling another you weren't the cause.

 

Combination of MH issues, someone not being fine with polyam after all + me and divorcing partner spent eight days together + few frequent essential late evening meetings

Safe to say I'm the catalyst here

 

Since we split my Facebook feed has been full of pages posting memes about relationships literally it’s just littered with quotes and absolute rubbish. Pages I don’t even follow or have any interest in.

Where the heck did all this rubbish come from and why’s it littering my feed? I know Facebook tries to psychologically control you but this is ridiculous.

 

Yours or someone else's

 

Fast tracked the inevitable rather than causing I reckon...

 

Someone else's

More than likely

 

What pains me today is my bloody Ex. Despite the advice of many here and friends - stupidly i chose to ignore all of that and continue on the path of toxicity in the hopes that we would rekindle and resolve. i have truly understood what narcissistic means. Through my own choice i have chosen to go no contact due to the relationship being in a yoyo effect for a really long time. Managed 4 days before i had her reach out and give me more ear ache.

I chose to come off of social media some months ago. Mainly because i found myself aimlessly scrolling and scrolling. Periodically i would have a weak moment... go back on.. take a looksee... and deactivate the account. it's part of my healing. Last night i had another vile message (though she'd been blocked on WhatsApp but i'd put her messages in archive instead ) because saying how i had been a snake for using social media. How i'd clearly been sleeping around (i haven't) and how could i do that whilst i sit at the same table that her kids eat at.. whilst still sleeping in the same bed as her.

The hardest bit of this is that I'd have done anything for her but the more absence i have.. the clearer i am seeing the situation and just how badly she treated me. The name calling - the toxic comments, the manipulation and the gaslighting. I didn't even know what being a narcissist or gaslighting actually meant before meeting her.

Jesus christ, give me strength!

 

Usual Farcebook, cesspool of shite…

 

No point you worrying about it, just let them get on with it.

 

Sounds like they were on course for it anyway. If it wasn't you that tipped them over it would have been someone else.

 

Thanks guys

I can't help feeling bad about it, definitely was inevitable due to various factors, likely I was the one started the avalanche so life happened part ?

Life goes on

 

Going through an employment consultation dance and feel like I'm being well and truly railroaded

 

I've found that, depending on the relationship, absence either makes the heart grow fonder or reveals how much better off you are without someone!

My advice is to keep contact to a minimum and keep focussing on yourself, seek out and/or catch up with some old friends and try to put her out of your mind as much as you can. It sounds like she's doing your head in something fierce!

 

The worst flu or covid ever. I am the living dead.

 

Members turning into zombies, will be the kiss of death for this forum...

 

Members on this forum are so old that the kiss of death for this forum is death.

 

Amputation at the neck will solve it.

 

The silver lining is that when it comes, you'll have a really strong sense of your own self-worth and won't settle for that kind of **** again.

When my first long-term relationship ended, she got back in touch about nine months later, and all the good memories came flooding back. We agreed to meet at a local event she was attending with friends.

On the way there, I got caught in traffic, and slowly, all the really bad, toxic **** came back to me. I knew that if we met, we'd end up rekindling something and falling back into old patterns—the constant put-downs, always being made to feel small. Isolating me from my friends and family and spending all that time defending her shitty behaviour.

Halfway there, I turned around and went back home. People like that never change, and I knew I deserved more.

When I got home, I sent her a message saying it wasn’t a good idea for us to meet. She responded with a tirade of abuse. A swift block sorted that out.

You've got this pal.

 

Yeah but are you amputating the head or the body?