Other What's ruining your life right now?

Wow. Next to that, any gripes I may have pale into sheer middle-class drivel.

 

Dammit, Kayin, if you drop dead on us this place is going to be way boring, so take better care of yourself!

 

I try, but with this condition it's likely to happen out of nowhere anyway. I just carry on as best I can.

 

Trying to save a bit of money for the market I help organise and run, and somehow I'm the ***** by doing so?

Others wanted radio ads made. Friend said she would make them for us, free of charge (€60 + vat for a recording with the station), so I asked them to hold off on getting the station to record them.

They wouldn't be recorded until next week anyway, but I'm the bellend somehow. Thanks.

 

8.5 year relationship completely on the rocks.

Turns out her feelings for me have drifted to a work colleague since just after last christmas. I would call it infatuation if anything. She's not cheated in the worst of ways, but they have kissed at work more than once, and I personally think its the taboo nature of it that's been the exciting aspect of it all. He offered her sex, but she turned it down out of respect for me which I found most confusing.

Nearly two weeks ago this first came to a head, where she told me her love had gone and that she hated me. This has been the single most painful experience in my life to date. Then over the last two weeks the truth has finally come out and she hasn't hated me, but instead was punishing me for what she had done even though I've not done anything wrong.

I have kept our conversations amicable, and only in doing so the truth has come out. Since the new year I've been doing crazy over time to save up for our epic road trip the end of May to the south of France for two weeks in the sun. She was happy for me to take the time to do the overtime, even though I was unhappy due to the limited time I would see her.

In my absence her feelings have become torn and conflicted, and what hasn't helped in the douche-bag at work was forward with her even though he is in a relationship with two children.

I have chosen to forgive her, because I feel she was overcome with infatuation and her feelings were bent by this scum.

However she still wants space, and she can't understand why I've been so forgiving despite all the hurt she has caused me. I have always treated her as a lady, and in the last 8.5 years I've not even sworn at her, even during this painful time. Words cross my mind, but they would only be a emotional reaction not a logical reaction.

She is my best friend, and with out her life would be very lonely, I've not kept in touch with old friends as I had all the friend I needed with her. I was finally planning to pop her the question in France, as next December would be our 10th year together and I couldn't think of anything more romantic than that.

She has said we've lost our spark, and yet during all of this we've been having more sex than in recent years. (On average)

Advice from other people tell me to cut her loose and move on, but life isn't that simple we are tied together and dependant on one another. I can't see a future without her, maybe that's me being soft, but over the years we've spent time apart and made it work long distance more than once and we've kept the spark and the bond that drives us close.

I can't give up on that or her, I'm unsure why I've shared this here but I guess it's me needing to vent.

Ultimately I need to come out of this with confidence that I did everything I could and the ability to move on if need be. Strange because the later would require me to distance myself even though I am fighting to hold on.

 

Think you need some time and space to think. Sounds like you need some time to yourself to put things in perspective.

If she doesn't know how she feels at the moment you can't expect a straight answer. By giving yourself some space you can think things through and decide on what you want to do.

 

Didn't get the job. It just proves yet again how useless I am; now to apply for another several hundred positions before I find another good one..

 

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen- you need to spice things up and stop being Mr nice guy all the time, that's why she feels the spark has gone as the relationship is just idling along, not very exciting- the douche with 2 kids was a welcome distraction that made things interesting & dangerous, though she still feels bad about it.

Or, stay single, masturbate lots & be happy

 

+1 to this

I can't comprehend how you must be feeling, some marriages don't even last that long she probably knows more about you then most of your family.

I would defiantly say space is what you need at the minute, your instinct is probably telling you to spend every waking second trying to change her mind but you need to face a very harsh reality that your holding onto something that may be gone.

Don't be a choice she can just make when she decides the relationship isn't right for her anymore, I've made the same mistake on a MUCH smaller scale but it still leaves you in the dirt feeling the fool.

Sounds like the guy is a complete tool anyway, A sleazy bloke is after a bit of a change to the daily grind by the sounds of it I can't imagine it would last.

 

You are NOT useless, bro. Interviewers are the truely useless ones.
They're why Douglas Adams came up with the Golgafrincham "B" Ark.

 

I'm just so sick of this system now. I just want to bloody work and be done with the job centre. But no, I have to apply for hundreds of jobs before I get a single interview, get my bloody hopes up and it always comes crashing down.

None of my friends or family respect me because i'm on jobseekers and they all work and my mrs. doesn't really respect me either; she says she doesn't care, but i'm a little smarter than that. I mean man, she barely goes near me at the moment.

Just sick of it all. It makes me extremely depressed; to the point where it's getting hard to stand.

 

With Jobs I have always found that if you want it enough you always get a break sooner or later.

I hit a spectacularly low point while out of work and couldn't imagine where I am now compared to then.

Just keep your chin up and don't let it get the better of you.

 

What type of work are looking for. But it will come.

 

Anything; except care work. I've always maintained that you have to be willing to do that and if your heart isn't in it, the person you're caring for will suffer.

I've been on and off jobseekers for about 5 years and i've applied for literally thousands of positions over that time. But more often than not, my application is the first one to go in the bin. I have no experience or relevant qualifications for what i'm going for and I need to support my family, so going back to school/college isn't any kind of option.

It's my fault. I chose art in school and went through with it. It was never going to get me anywhere and I didn't see it. My parents didn't tell me otherwise because they were getting divorced at the time. And i'm 24, it's too late to build a proper career for myself now. I'm never going to earn over £12,000 a year even if i'm working an immeasurable amount of hours a week, nor am I ever going to be able to buy a house for my family.

 

I could tell you to get into retail but retail is not fun and it's long hours. Where I work we are extending our shop as we are taking over dreams next door as adding it to ours so we well be looking for more staff. But I'm based in Harrow.
We do have a graduate scheme with us. There is loads of work in retail, I'm stuck in it unfortunately but it's a job. Biggest mistake I made was leaving the cops.

Try retail it's a last resort, I'm ok as I'm in management so it's not to bad for me. One thing I do want to say is that you are still young and there is still a huge future out there for you. Be patient and yes I know it's easy to say but one day you'll be looking back and thinking it was not that bad as you will make a success out of your life. Why do I say that because by the sounds of it, you want to

 

I've just finished building the spare bed in the spare room to enable this, we decided a few days ago about what we should do regarding space.

You might be right about the whole Mr Nice guy thing, and the humour you've tried isn't to my taste, but thanks anyway.

I think you've summed it up

Bit-tech was the last place I expected to get a sensible chain of replies, and I thank you all.

 

Dude, when i've said that i've applied for thousands of jobs, I really mean it. I've applied for retail as well as every other occupation you can think of (apart from care work). I've put speculative letters through to every company nearby, even schools and hospitals too. Nothing has worked. I even cold called for a bit, but businesses hate cold callers and I stopped it rather quickly.

 

Humour?

 

Sh*t that was me 6 months ago, best you ignore my post from earlier.

All I can say is work will come along, I thought it was pretty bad, and then suddenly out of the blue it's all clicked into place. And now I am being made job offers, actual offers where ever I go. It's perverse if anything.

I was in the same position, nothing but hundreds of applications and handfuls of interviews, all glowing reviews but no work. So I had to question what I was doing wrong, and drop the arrogance that I'm perfect for the job. Sell yourself dirt cheap, it's easier to jump jobs once you're working.

My employer asked what I want for salary and I was honest, that it's not important. I told him what I use to earn, but I am willing to go less than minimum offered. He's offered me the exact figure I really wanted out of respect, and in return I've worked like a dog and have become hugely respected.

What you looking to actually do, the ideal job for you. If you don't focus and get hungry nothing but disappointment is in your future. What are you good at, and focus on what you can offer, not "I want a job, give me".

Take some time out and use the dole cash to treat the misses once in a while and stop b*tching about teh failures to her, it'll only make things worse even if you're depressed vent else where. Also have you considered working off-shore or for the armed forces? (last ditch I know)

 

I'm not allowed in the army, i have flat feet. I would work offshore if I knew of any of the opportunities that were there; i've never really looked into anything abroad.

Honestly? I do sell myself dirt cheap. The problem is not the work I get, it's that i'm not getting any of that work. And I don't care what the job is, really. I would like to work with something in computers, electronics or manufacturing processes but I don't have any of the qualifications to do those; they also require things like degrees and diplomas that I don't have the time to get. I would sell myself cheap to any job offers, i'm just not getting job offers. And any interviews I get I feel like I've made a good impression but they never offer me the position. I've honestly never felt like i'm perfect for the job either because I know that there's positively going to be someone more educated, qualified and experienced.

I really don't know where I'm going wrong. I've tried everything in what is achievable, but no dice.