Other What's ruining your life right now?

The best thing about friends, they're the ones who aren't annoyed.

 

Not having the £500 needed to buy my toolbox or the £x to get an iPhone.

 

No demote thread to read while at work at nights.

Another week of night shifts which are quiet- i want some work to do.

 

OH!
I got something to add to this thread!
I finally got myself a better job! WOOT!
I'm going to be working as a tow truck driver (yes this is a better job)

Guess what? I was going to my girlfriends to celebrate...
Drive 500Feet and the car is not driving right.


The first flat tire that I had to change since I got my job as a tow truck driver.... WAS MINE!


hahahah...


Oh the irony...

 

tire irony?

 

groan....

 

Ouch, that's harsh dude

Its bad enough that you had to "plan" to break up, but to come to the realisation that she's made no effort for a long time, well that is really harsh.

I'm someone who, if something in my life is not right, will make broad sweeping changes (except for shifting my arse into gear and getting some bloody exercise, I just can't make myself do that for some reason).

I therefore am in full support of your attitude - "my **** isn't right, Imma tired of this, time to make change".

The only thing I would say, is once you calm down a bit (btw, sounds gross, but getting drunk off your tits til you puke helps get over girls) and you're ready to take stock of the situation, take a look at those hobbies, and groups, and friends. Work out what you actually enjoy, and keep it up. Dump the rest. There is however no point seperating yourself from everything, not if you enjoy any of it.

In my observation, there are two types of people in relationships. The Loners, who don't particularly care about much, and would just as soon be single and alone than with someone, and The Lonely, who as much as anything else, just really need the company.

It sounds to me like she is a Loner, and you're Lonely. I'm a Lonely person too, and as a result I've dated my fair share of girls with mental health issues (to name a few, anorexia, bulimia, depression, bipolar disorder, and just general nut-bags who don't really have anything wrong with them but are still off-kilter, or a combination of more than one in the list) or even who were Loners, just because I didn't want to be alone and it was "worth" a go.

They of course were less than successful.

I am pleased to say that things worked out okay and I ended up with another Lonely, so we keep each other company, and that works well. I don't want to pull the old "plenty more fish in the sea" line, but it really is true that it happens when you least expect it. I was randomly introduced to my now-fiance around a fortnight after I'd declared to my few friends that I'd given up on love ... and one of them turned round and introduced me to one of their friends.

 

Damn.

Well, thank you. It's been a few hours and i've calmed down a bit. I also talked to her on IM for the past two hours getting everything off of my chest, and sure enough, my conspiracy theories were mostly true. She says she's really sorry for hurting me and taking me for granted.

At least it's all out in the open. To other guys out there- unless what you're thinking would be really damaging, do NOT keep your thoughts (especially if they're suspicions and conspiracies against your significant other in any way) in.

Life still sucks, but at least I have some peace of mind. I'd rep you, but it told me to "please spread around some rep before giving to Zoon again," and I will as soon as possible, because your advice is priceless.

Thank you, sir.

 

I rep'ed him for you because he spoke the truth

 

Oh god I have wisdom? This is a sure sign I'm getting old. Thanks for the rep, I truly hope it helps at least a little bit.

 

Good points Zoon. I find it hard to put someone in a specific category, to me it's like everyone is a complex mix. I think of what you call "loners" as the confident, and "the lonely" are the shy ones. But there's also factors like honest or deceitful, open or secretive, generous or greedy, leader or follower, etc. There are methods out there that can be used to categorize people by thier personality type, and you can learn about how to interact with all the different types to achieve the desired result... this is something I don't know much about, but i'm slowly learning about it in my spare time, sometimes, when i'm bored

I dunno about getting pissed to forget about a girl... i've done that a couple of times or so, and it always seemed to help me forget about the girl, by getting me into some other stupid mistake I think it's best to just go have some fun. Turn the break up into a celebration, reward yourself for getting rid of the biatch

Just be confident, be honest, man up, don't hold stuff back, especially anything that even slightly annoys you, no-one should ever get the chance to play you, in something that remotely smells like some sort of conspiracy!

 

One thing I can say about this is that most people (while in a relationship) hold back on the having fun, get domesticated, etc.

Hence, my theory on breaking up is go grab your good-times friends (we all have some of those). Tell them straight up that you need a drink... or 5.
Tell them they're driving (should that be required). Then go out and HAVE A BLAST.
It's critically important that you go out with the determination to let nothing wreck your evening. No matter what happens, keep having a good time.

Go out and by all means, make mistakes. Mistakes are needed to help us make good decisions.

 

I completely understand that no single person will necessarily have a life-view that everyone else agrees with totally, and agree that its not easy to categorise someone.

Indeed, over time people, with the correct catalyst, may change.

I'll elaborate a bit more;

In my categorisation of "loner" or "lonely", I am broadly suggesting that there is a straight line, one end labelled "loner" and one end labelled "lonely". There is a spectrum of steps between these two points, with a balance of each at the middle.

The other traits you suggest, such as shyness and confidence, I could potentially attribute to people anywhere on my scale, as befits their personality. I agree you're less likely to see someone in the "lonely" scale who is confident, as they would likely pick themselves up more readily and find someone new, as in my example here they would just need SOMEONE and rely on their confidence to find it.

A loner, would be someone inherently independent and less willing to be defined by the person they are with, so less worried if they are single.

The word "lonely" isn't intended to suggest that the people are currently lonely, more an emotion they do not wish to feel, and it guides their actions in life.

The same with the word "loner" - these people could have hundreds of close friends, but their actions betray the fact that they don't care if they are "lonely" or not, perhaps making them callous, uncaring or disinterested, always late to the party, etc.

I'm not sure if I explained it any better ... I just believe that at one end of the scale, people feel incomplete without somebody to love, and at the other people feel encumbered with somebody to love, with varying degress between, and that two people too far removed from each other on the scale are going to be in trouble.

 

Work. A boss that appreciates nothing. Treats us like slaves.

/Rant over

 

go buy yourself something awesome. or go to a $100 restaurant.

just go spend a bunch of money on yourself getting something you can really really enjoy.



goodluck!







edit:::: im not gonna flirt with the milfs MV!!!

 

I just genuinely "awww"'d for the first time in my life.

I kinda thought that would be around child birth, but no, when a diddy mantis wandered around on my finger >.>

 

how about you post some pics!

 

My mortgage, they've hiked it again, that's a rise of 1.5% in a six month period. I can barely afford it.

 

This one's an active little bugger. I think it's a "he", I can just about make out the segments of the abdomen.

They're all about the same size, roughly 2cm long, leg span of about the same.

 

To add to this, I believe that most of how what determines a person's position on this scale is dependent on environment. She has 4 siblings; a full house, and she can never get any peace and quiet at home. She has always had somebody to talk to, and she yearns for some solitude. A lot of it is also based on interest. She 's quite a bookworm, and she's very introverted, so she enjoys her time alone doing that. However, the fact that she'd rather spend 6 hours on Neopets than communicating with anyone; I think that's an effect of environment on her personality.

Me on the other hand; my brothers are married and live on their own and have done so for the last 5 years. My house is mostly quiet and only my parents are downstairs, and I cannot open up to them. (a lot of that is because they had a different upbringing in a foreign country, so they can't relate) We don't speak about personal things in this household, and I am literally alone up here at all times, in front of my PC. I have nobody to talk to, nobody around.

Is it bad that I'm getting angrier and angrier at her now? I'm realizing how terrible of a gf she's been for the last 3 months now. What happened was that after she befriended two of her other best friends (they were both guys, dont' know if that's important but i'll include this detail), a different side of her became prominent with them, and she felt that there were two facades to her and that she couldn't reconcile them. Which is why whenever she hung out with me, it was alone, and why she'd never talk about her day or plans or anything with me, because she didn't want to reveal that other side, because she's a dreadful, awful girlfriend, who thinks in extremes and is bipolar. (I clearly kind of hate her right now)