Other What's ruining your life right now?

Unable to attend my aunt's funeral because I had an op to have done on me the following day, 300 miles away and not been able to travel particularly well. While the result of the op is still unclear, the worst pathway for me seems to be organ loss.

Talk about getting things in perspective, I've been offline for a few days recovering & come back on to see this. Ian & Otis, my heart goes out to you & yours.

 

Crap day in work topped off by the rear wheel hub (ordered from Poland, a week and a bit ago and confirmed correct by VIN) being the wrong one. I know its pale in comparison with what other bit-techers are going through at the mo but I wanted to vent.

 

Just lost the 3TB HDD I use as a Steam drive due to SMART errors.
Drive was scorching hot when removed from PC, possible bearing fail?

TL;DR - Replacement drive installed, re-downloading Steam games overnight.

 

Mosquito bites all over my legs. The itch is real.

 

Why is it easy for things to be great one moment and then crashing down before your eyes the next?

I'm pretty healthy so I deny that any of my problems are even in the same continent as some people on BT.

I live in a world of loneliness. I have a fiancee who doesn't appreciate me and has serious intimacy problems, three children who don't appreciate me and treat me with very little respect and I have no friends, since none of the people I know are mature enough to hang out with somebody that has children. No, those aren't serious problems for most people, but it really hits me. It makes me feel kind of alone.

Just f*** 'em at the moment. I'm just seriously done being people's doormat. I do everything for everyone, even though I know that I'm being taken advantage of. No one shows me the simple appreciation that I desperately need at the moment to feel as though I'm even slightly valued. I struggle to find the motivation to get out of bed at the moment.

It was my Birthday sunday, was it happy? No it wasn't. It was just a birthday, but I should think at least people would be a little positive about it. Instead, I spent the entirety of it moving around the furniture in our bedroom around and cleaning up. I posted on BT and I was pretty happy, my parents gave me a couple of gifts, bit of money but my immediate family whom I actually more about? No cards, or a cake. Or even some time with the missus, it was just... the same as every other damn day - full of demands that nobody is ever happy with me doing.

 

Chemo next week for a delightful nine weeks.

Woo. Sitting around for 16+ hours a week with a needle in my hand every three weeks. Can't wait.

 

Bro hugs, man.

The root cause of your problem, in bold.

Your choices and actions are not informed by your needs and wants, but others'. So you don't get what you need or want. And then you blame yourself and you feel crap. And you try and remedy feeling crap by working harder at pleasing others. Rinse, repeat.

Others, in turn, learn that it is up to someone else's responsibility (i.e. yours) to meet their needs and wants, instead of their own, but because you're basically not a telepathic omnipotent supernanny, they don't necessarily get what they need or want. And then they blame you and feel crap. And they try and remedy feeling crap by demanding more from you. Rinse, repeat.

 

Been there done it got the T shirt, good luck to you. What drug/poision will they be pumping into you?

 

Been having really bad foggy spells. Don't know what to do.

 

Marriage is over. Finances are split. Just a matter of time before mortgage and divorce processes are started. Unbelievably sad.

Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

 

BEP, but I can't remember the absurd names they give each component.

 

Mum passed away on the 7th July which, whereas I knew it was coming, just felt so quick in between her being admitted to hospital on the previous Thursday, being conscience and then not talking at all.

On top of that, due to money constraints, I'm putting together the order of service on Illustrator and editing on Photoshop. I know what I'm doing with Photoshop but I have been throwing the toys out of my pram with .AI! My iPad nearly got thrown across the room last night because the bloody thing would not auto-orientate unless I switched it on and off...

AND I keep getting memory reference errors which I am not in the frame of mind to diagnose - the only thing I am aware of is that my memory from my old machine has underclocked so I'm running 16GB half of which is at 1600 and the other should be running at that but is running at 1333 and the ASUS ROG UI in the bios doesn't make it easy to rectify it...

In all, I'm effing well fed up at the moment!

I apologise if my post trivialises others previous posts...

 

Chemo is so. ****ing. Boring.

And the internet here is so bad it's not even close to funny.

 

Tell me about it. I was so frail come the third chemo I could not have it. Oh joy. Are you having radiation therapy?

 

OH NO!!!! LIRA

i just realised, having Chemo your going to LOSE YOUR BEARD!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Not necessarily. I kept mine and also my grey hair really grew like no bodies business and even got back some of it's blond colour. As I had to wear one of these it was necessary to keep both beard and hair at the same length when the mask was made.

 

Nah, just two and a half days sitting around every three weeks and a few jabs, for three "courses".

I'm gonna have a ****ing brutal tan line after nearly three years with it.

Sadly the hospital's proxy blocks imgur, so I can't see it, but hey.

I'm curious about losing hair, though, I guess it'll be practice for later in life.

 

Were you wheeled in on a dolly, Hannibal Lectar style?

 

I was pinned down on a table with it yes.
It is quite freaky getting it made as the stuff comes in a sheet which is soaked in hot water then laid on your head where as it cools forms a tight mask. But you do get the feeling you are likely to drown as it happens as the whole process takes around 45 minutes.

 

Jesus, that sounds ****ing awful.