Hey guys, many of you have aleady seen my 'when it rains it pours" thread, well things just turned into hail. my good camera gets broken when TSA takes apart my bag comming back from my grandmother's celebration of her life (it was going to be her 94th birthday but she passed away). I have to go to her funeral in 3 days, I am expecting 4 of my great uncles to pass away, and now my girlfriend of 13mo just left me. not only that but today is the 2nd day of spring break. My girlfriend left me due to school stress, distance, and the fact that we just don't have time for each other any more and how that we just aren't as happy as we used to be. She said that we both are changing and that lately with school and stress, we are only make our lives unhappy. all of my great uncles have one ailment or another (one of them who has terminal cancer has been like a grandfather to me). The funeral for my grandmother is 3days a way in the middle of spring break. *sigh* [/rant] I really don't have any clue what to do now. My whole world seems to be collapsing in on me. I know it could be worse, i could have received a pink slip at work ( that is still in the realm of possibilities though). I just needed to get this off my chest so i can start healing.
That's tough man. I know how it is to lose someone close. Sorry to hear about your breakup. Long distance relationships are tough; going on 3 years with my girlfriend and we're 12 hours apart.
Try and put the g/f stuff aside for the time being. There's obviously much more important things to be thinking about than this girl right now. When you've gotten all the current stuff somewhat resolved in your mind then tackle this issue. On the plus side tho... You have more of a reason now to eat a bucket load of [favorite ice cream/comfort food] now.
Ahhh man, looks like life is trying to deal you all your crap at once, so hopefully you've got a long happy period coming up, your due one alright
Thanks guys. *hugs Supertoad* no homo I have already gone to my friends and family for support on this one, but since the way i make my decisions is through gaining as much info as I can. I need your help. I understand that you should no ask relationship questions on an internet technology forum. But **** that. I have done it before and i will do it again. When my girlfriend and I broke up, we left on good terms. We both still love each other as much as we did before and i have no doubt that I will always love her. The reason we(she) broke up was that we are in college in a long distance relationship. She can't handle stress well and becomes short and snippy. I have my father's genes and I am very passive. I can take abuse without uttering a word. This led to her feeling bad every time she said something to me and saw that I would take it and be hurt by it. I wont deny that I was hurt by it but it was only for maybe a couple minutes. As soon as she said something that was snippy to an action I was doing, i would immediately fix it, take note, and move on. She said she doesn't feel like she is good enough for me and that there is someone else that will make me happier, but I think that she is overestimating how much she actually hurt me (which was not at all in the long run, I am a tough ******* ) and made her decision on that. I understand that currently, i don't have many reasons to be happy, and with school and distance it only makes things harder for us. She and I still want to be friends but I want to let her know that she never hurt me as bad as she thinks she did. She is coming to the same school over summer and we will be taking a class together (pure coincidence). I know that by that time I will be healed from this but I was wondering what the chances are that I could date her again. We both still care for each other, i just think that right now, under these circumstances, things just kinda ballooned out of proportion. What do you guys think? My friends/family have said to wait for a while, date some other people, and if I still feel the same way about her try again. But they all think that she has to find her balance with stress first and not distance herself from everybody when she is stressed, before I try again. And I also realize i need to not be as passive, which is what I am going to work on. What should I do? I know that we are both going to be a part of each others lives for a long time (she said that she wants to be a part of my life still.) But do you think there is a chance we could date again. Because contrary to what she thinks, when she is not stressed, she is an AMAZING girlfriend (and even stressed she is still a good girlfriend).
Ok, I'm new to this forum, but I'm actually pretty decent with relationship advice. Contradictory to the movies, Life sometimes can suck. Advice: 1. Begin flirting with two different girls. Girls that you are both attractive and good girlfriend material. Maybe you know 2 of them already? Just flirting, no physical contact, no flirting via the internet, and make sure both come in no contact with your Ex. 2. Attend a local gym and start working out with a friend. 3. Grow a set. If you do get back with your girlfriend, odds are that the problem of her yelling at you and you taking it will still exist. Now every girl and every relationship is different, so I'm generalizing here. Most women like it when a man takes charge. So once this problem reoccurs in the future (which it might) don't be afraid to just to get angry and tell your girlfriend to cut it out. If you speak up in a firm voice, most likely your girlfriend will stop it. But you have to take charge. I used to be exactly like you and take yelling etc. But I grew a pair, and if my girlfriend was out of line, I told her she was. She actually liked it (she told me later after a fight) Also when you speak up, don't yell at her, just talk to her. Tell her, you really need to cut out the yelling, I'm not hurt by it, it just kinda bugs me when you etc etc. In a calm but firm voice. 4. Write her a letter. Sounds corny because we have text messaging, but for some reason women seem to respond REALLY well to letters. Also it gives you a chance to really think out what you are going to say before you say it. You can be as suave as hell with a letter. Also by writing a letter, your girlfriend might write one back etc. Seriously, you can never go wrong with a letter. 5. Prepare yourself. There is a chance it might not work out between you and her, that's why there's my first bit of advice, always have a plan B so you aren't crushed.
Sounds like very decent advice, I am aware that there is a chance Plan A doesn't work out. And I understand that I need to grow a pair on occasion. I know i wont have to worry about yelling because that is not who I am, the only time I yell is if someone is in danger. Thank you very much for your input though. It has definitely been noted
This is me and my girlfriend just weeks ago, i'm in exactly the same boat, except that we do live together. This is not advice how you should do it, it's what i'm seeing as my solution. Perhaps it applies to you as well. It's quite simple: have fun. Contrary to popular belief, girls generally like it when you are doing things you like. Growing some balls is just a part of this bigger objective. I understand that for you it might be hard to have fun right now. This means that you need to sort things out one at a time. Work through your family-woes "alone". You could still call her from time to time for comfort, since you are still friends. Once you are bac on your feet, you can run straight back to her or as far away as you can, but making an informed dicision right now is impossible. As far as dating or flirting with other girls goes... i'm not a huge fan of that, unless you are really comfortable with it. The risk of things getting even more complicated are high though.
Join the circus? In all honesty though, you know what you want deep down, you're just scared of it going wrong if you try. So just do whatever you feel you really want to do to the best of your ability. If it doesn't work out, bugger, but at least you know you tried. Same result as not doing it at all.
Life will always throw **** at you. And when things look bad, they get worse. It sucks, but there is nothing you can do about it. What you could do is this: Get lots of your favorite food/snacks, lots of good movies, turn off your phone, lock the door and tear down the doorbell. Chill out for a couple of days. Not to "think things trough" just give your brain a break. (And NO, don't get wasted on alcohol.) This is what girls say when they think they deserve better. (No I'm not very nice...)
but atleast you try to be honest about situations. I think for her, she does feel as if she is not good enough for me. She has been distancing her self from all of her friends while she tries to find a balance in all of her stress and about a week ago i told her that it was starting to affect me. At this time she began thinking seriously about breaking up. (just never mentioned it to me until she did break up with me) After talking some more to my friends/family, I think what I might do is in a week or so, send her a card just saying that I am thinking about her because i am guessing her self esteem is in the gutter right now. Then wait a week or two more until I have a full handle on everything and send her a card explaining how i feel, what i think i am going to try to change, how I feel about her, and how, (if my feelings havent changed about her) how I am still very much interested in her and that if she wants to, that I would love to date her again. What do you guys think?
