LOL Wife faces trial over 'noisy sex'

pfft, like he's any prize either...

 

a few years back our neighbours rented out the house for ~6 months or so to 2 ~20yr old girls.

One of them was so ludicrously loud she made even the worst porn stars that need to STFU seem quiet.

it really was too much when you'd hear the mega-loud "UH UH UH" and so on, then also hear the echos from the sound passing out of their wide-open window, bouncing off the houses opposite and in through my window.

funny the first time (especially when you overheard her flatmate screaming at her and her boyfriend to STFU) but it slowly became hell-like, with me often staying up until 3-4AM on the PC because there was no chance at all of getting any sleep while they were at it.

really not any fun at all

 

Really funny actually.. And Gooey. I feel your sentiment. Got into almost the same situation 7-8 years ago.
Met this girl and had a talk. Her ex-boyfriend decided that he was jealous so he threw a chair through her window. I had to take her home with me.
A real screamer. But I just could not get her to stop anyhow. So a pillow.. But alas. She kept my parents awake, and my mother complained big time the morning after. And I still have scars from her nails on my back and a bite mark I think too. Good times.

 

great for cleaning though.

 

i wouldn't split hairs, they both look pretty terrible lol

 

I think that the saying: "People who really have good sex are too busy doing it to talk about it" applies here. Sometimes people just seem to have something to prove by being vocal. I've been unwilling ear witness to several occasions (once in a hotel, several times with the girl living in the flat below) and frankly it always sounded, well, faked.

 

I spent a year in a flat with a prostitute in the flat above.
You could set your watch by her - Slow moaning, must be Tuesday lunch time; thudda-thudda-thudda and screaming, Thurs night, etc

Fun times

 

My ex was one hell of a screamer. And to anybody who says that it's a turn-on, you've never been with anybody who's nearly made you deaf after an hour of screaming in bed. It became such a problem that I almost lost interest entirely. And some people don't fake it, they just don't have any control over themselves.

Though the whole kissing thing is a good, albeit temporary, way to shut them up.

 

I don't understand why she'd be making so much noise, all my partners have been completely silent.

 

It's obvious, you're not good enough.

 

Did they also pat you on the back after and go "It was a good effort, hun, I need to get some sleep now.."

/cheeky dig


EDIT: ROFL WW ^^

 

Go Malfoleo, you big yourself up there son!!!

 

Yep, that was the joke. It's my own fault for not including another smiley, unless you're now being even drier than me. Perhaps a change of direction is needed.

The dead don't pat people on the back.

Okay, that may be too far.

 

Just a tad Where was that vomit smiley again?

 

As amazing as it may seem, some of us can actually last longer than the time it takes to drop one's pants to the floor.

I know, I know, it seems impossible, but the key is control, and practice. Try it some time, and you'll realise that fornication can last longer than an hour, and be rather pleasurable.

 

I'm still trying to figure out what that 4 hours is all about in the Viagra commercials.

If you can muster up a crying session AND a laughing session in one go - Works for me. Job well done.

Two sides of the same coin if done well.

john

 

You sir, have just won this thread.

 

Do again I sez? Still doing She says.

That's how it works.

john

 

they could noise proof the room....

 

i was just thinking that when the police arrested her, she probably got off due to the hand cuffs! screaming in the back of a police van! lol!