Discussion in 'General' started by unknowngamer, 13 Feb 2010.
EDIT: Nah i'm probably talking out of my arse :/
As much as that might work for fish, I'm not sure that a granddad is really that replaceable. Unless unknowngamer is actually Stan Smith?
As for your wife, eh.
I fully expect she was either being visited by Aunt Irma or has just finished/is about to. Either that or she was friends with that fish on levels we can't understand, in which case, I understand that asylums are welcoming.
Interesting method of teaching the kids about death, though. Might explain why my childhood was a collection of mice and fish (Really, are there any shorter lived pets?).. Didn't make my granddad dying any easier, though.
Get some guppys. Then you can teach the kids about life and death.
We're onto our fourth maybe fifth generation of guppys, little buggers won't die so I can get some other fish.
No you're not being unreasonable, but if you know that's how she is. Well, what did you expect.
I'd probably have cried for the fishy-wishy, not for an hour granted, but I'd have mourned it (nothing to do with time of the month at all). I think I'd have been upset more because I'd have felt responsible for it dying than anything to do with how long I'd known it. Thoughts crossing my mind would've been along the lines of 'had someone else had this fish and it hadn't moved tanks it'd still be swimming happily now' and no amount of 'it could've died a lot sooner with someone else' would help.
I have lots of emotion available for critters and inanimate objects, but tbh when relatives die I don't really feel anything. I think there's something seriously wrong with me, but I get more upset watching the milk carton die in that Blur video (Coffee & TV) than I do about humans dying
One other thing though, I really hate it when animals are described as "just pets". Just? Really that's so wrong. If you get a pet it should be part of your family, not a possession you replace when it dies. (That's not aimed directly at anyone here, it's just in general). I never had to cry for my little fishies as they didn't die. We got a cat who spent every second sat above the tank patting the glass so thought it safer for my Aunt to have them. They went into her pond and grew to enormous things that lived for years!
(I too learned about death early on as 3 out of 4 of my grandparents died before I was 5. Either they hung about waiting for me to be born or the shock of me killed them...)
I undertand you, when i received the call that y grandad died (my moms dad) i was like ok i gotta go to a party cya.
when i arrived at home and i found my cat dead i was really bad i cried also my sister and my dad i still feel bad because we dont notice that he was sick until was too late .
btw i miss my cat
I sympathise with you mate. One of our pet rats (we have had a pair for the past 2 years) died last month and my wife was a wreck for a couple of days. A pet IS part of the family and when they die should be treated as such. I was upset when the rat died but didn't shed any tears over her, however once the day comes that my dog leaves me I am sure I will be devastated. I dont think I would think twice about a fish dieing though but obviously your wife did so she should be treated as if she has lost a family member.
btw dude sorry you had to deal with the Grandma experience so young.
You bring up a good point. Even just a little goldfish should be treated as a member of the family. An insignificant one, yes (I even called fish/lizards/etc not 'real' pets earlier), and maybe one that you're just using to train your kids, but still a family member.
Keeping with the idea of fish pets, decorative aquariums make me sick. Owning a living creature just to watch it float along without a care in the world, probably not even a name for it. And no, calling your $150 angel fish 'Angel' doesn't count.
Personally, my pet cats are almost like siblings. I've grown with them for the last 12 years, majority of my life there. Can already tell I'll be devastated when they pass, but having lost one cat already certainly does help.
Indeed. I was thinking earlier actually that if you want to teach a kid about death then you really have to treat pets as part of the family. Treating them as 'just an animal' won't teach the kids anything.
We haven't had any pets since our last 2 cats died a good few years ago. I'll never get over their deaths as they were with me for almost 20 years. I miss them every single day Watching my beloved Purdey try & get back into his basket when they were putting him to sleep broke my heart.
I'd be pissed too, a good goldfish will last 20 years.
i've had a cat as long as i can remember. the first one (ironically called 'muis' (=mouse in dutch)) was half a year older than me and died when i was seventeen (i cried). we stayed catless for only a year and a half. now we have another one called 'lord mauro' (a joke on his fur colour) and i know i will cry again when he'll pass.
never had fish.
75 posts for marketplace eh?
10/10 superb troll.
Your shift key doesn't work
I cried when our cat died, we'd had him from a kitten until he was 14 or so.
I cried when our guineau pig died, I think he was about five years old, maybe even six.
I think the difference is when a pet has character. A fish is a bit.. 'meh', tbh.
I think I'll need at least a week when my dog goes.
No offence, but speaking as someone who probably has a fairly average amount of empathy for this place - if I missed my cat every day (and we had her for about 16 years, from when I was 4) I'd seek professional medical help. That just seems...odd to me. Treating animals as "just animals" seems pretty sensible to me. Animals are "just animals". They still learn about death.
Pets die, it's not a huge deal. Sure feel sad for a few days, and expect the odd pang of sadness when you're reminded of them for a few months, but more than that? Seems like that's just being overly emotional.
But you see to me, old people just die. It's what they do. Deal with it.
Works both ways.
I don't think missing my cats every single day is overly emotional at all (I can miss them without bursting into tears about it). The fact that a friend of mine went completely off the rails for months when his ancient and really quite ill grandfather died. That was overly emotional to me.
lol yeah.. if she reads this she's gonna flush you down the toilet
I certainly agree that crying over a new fish is a bit much. Maybe if she just cried fora bit that would be ok, but to need comforting? reminds me of those women on TV (like on extreme makeover home edition) who force cries out because they either feel they should cry or like the attention.
I cried my eyes out when my cat was hit by a car, he was my little mate and followed me everywhere. When our fish died, I was a little sad, then I cleaned the tank out and got another. It took me 2 years to get another cat.
As for posting it on here, I moan all day at work about my wife to my workmate. Its why I have a happy marriage. If I moaned to my wife about everything she does that annoys me I would have been divorced a long time ago. If something is important I will discuss it with her but for the small things... People need to vent!
ditto. It's a fish; hell we eat fish! Not goldfish (hopefully)... but that's beside the point.
I tend to think I deal with death rather well, I don't cry at funerals, and I don't get all emotional and depressed when I find out that someone I know has died. In fact my family ends up having fun at viewings because it's one of few occasions that we all get together. It's all just part of life. It may be sad when a relative or friend dies, but I believe they've moved on. Whether they're in heaven, in a process of rebirth, or ascended as a part of the universe.. who knows for sure. I just have a good feeling that death isn't the ultimate end.
Whatever the case... this is a fish we're talking about, I think it deserves an "Aww, poor thing. It tried." and that's about it. Flush it down the toilet or bury it, either way it's gone.
Reflection: Wow, I sound so insensitive.
Agreed, missing them and being sad is a very normal part of it all. A pet can become a part of your family, especially ones you hold and pet, train, etc.. They really end up growing on you and you can tell that they love you. They get all excited to see you when come home from work or something. A fish is usually a lot less personal though. Crying and needing comfort over a fish you've had for a week... to me that's ridiculous.
This has been a smile to my face +rep . Youre certainly not unreasonable. whats she like when she breaks a nail.....(too soon?) lol.
That is a very good way of getting your kids to understand life and death. I will certainly be taking up this method when the time comes only with a chicken on the sunday, with potatoes, veg, and gravy
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