Rant Words/Phrases that are pretty much meaningless

I work in sales & marketing lol, so often you have a conversation that sounds like this:

"Going forward, let's bridge the emotional connection between you and your addressable audience and create value through a real synergy."

Buzzword nightmare.

Then Match of the Day spouted a phrase: 'POMO', meaning position of maximum opportunity. Next week they'll refer to a pass as a 'forward transition to acquire iterative perspectives on target end result'

 

The exact opposite of 'Hello then' perhaps?

 

Who would even venture 'hello then'? People do say odd things, mind...

 

I've noticed that I say "y'know" and stupid filler adjoining words like "so" and "like" way too much. But I can't really help it (I've tried, I end up just talking like a very slow robot).

 

Around these parts the general chavcentric pond life use 'bare' to mean a lot of something. Drives me insane.

 

Innit tho

 

Like, this thread is so mean. I mean, why does, erm, like, it exist? Erm, it's just like, not fair.

 

Sick. Ya feel me blud? And so on in that fashion.

My worst is "yeah mate". Just that phrase. It's what semi-sentient chavs say in response to anything at all, a Catherine-Tate-a-like all-purpose dismissive comeback, and it's moronic beyond description.

I hate chav mannerisms so much. It's not a class thing or a culture thing or a money thing or an urban thing or a race thing - chav doesn't deserve to be allowed to hide under any of those demographics, because it insults any demographic it tangles itself up with. It's just pure idiocy and social retardation spun up into a fashion. That's my submission to this thread: anything and everything that chavs say.

 

Then again, english people now seem notorious for following silly fashions because other people do, so sadly, it's hardy surprising.

 

That reminds me, I know it's a song rather than a phrase, but Harlem Shake has lost all meaning. We killed it faster than any other meme to date, it's impressive really. It probably set a record for quickest-burning-out meme.

Oh, and the adjectives "basically" and "actually". I and most people I know sprinkle them all over every sentence to the point where they're just noise.

 

My work's intranet main page today carries the question, "How do we avoid end of pipe issues that affect our reputation?"

I'm seriously having to restrain myself from handing in my notice on principle.

 

WTF ?

 

Most business acronyms and initialisms. ALCON, COB, COA, FYI, FYSA, NLT... please, just make it stop. Trying to browse my inbox is like decrypting a set of ancient runes.

 

Smoke tobacco in your pipe instead of crack, if you want to answer the question literally.

I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, the metaphor is so vague.

And my addition, people that address me and follow on with "my man". It portrays a kind of possessive condescension that annoys me. I neither need nor base my social worth on validation from you. (Am I reading too much into this?)

And people that address me as mate. Unless we're more than passing acquaintances or you're Australian (In which case you get a free pass) I'm not your mate. More than likely, I don't even like you.

Working with the public makes me grumpy, I guess.

 

There is one phrase which I use very rarely, but since I'm well-spoken and smart compared to the average, it has a very good effect:

That's how I roll.

 

I only know FYI.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THE REST!? D:

 

ALCON - All Concerned
COB - Close of Business
COA - Course of Action
FYSA - For Your Situation Awareness
NLT - No Later Than

Some bonus ones:
FOUO - For Official Use Only
PII - Personally Identifiable Information
POW/POM - Plan of the Week/Month
FYQ - Fiscal Year and Quarter

 

Dear god...

 

I think that people should leverage the utilitisation of words in a more effective on-message fashion to enhance communicative stakeholder engagement.