XxX Dinner with Chez Prescot XxX

Discussion in 'General' started by sarahmabel, 12 Oct 2002.

  1. sarahmabel

    sarahmabel Guest

    Writers: Thompson+Pritchett / Swash / Sinclair / Gaster / Burton
    PREZZA TOWERS – A GHASTLY NOUVEAU-RICHE HOUSE. (MOCK TUDOR GARAGE EXTENSION – IN THE GARAGE A JAGUAR WITH STICKER – ‘MY OTHER CAR’S A JAG’
    TONY AND CHERIE ARE WALKING UP THE PATH, SMARTLY DRESSED. TONY CARRYING A BOTTLE OF WINE.
    CHERIE:
    But I can’t stand the Prescotts…
    TONY:
    It’s only dinner.
    (CHECKS WATCH)
    Look it’s eight o’clock – I promise we will leave by 10.
    CHERIE:
    SIGH... I suppose it can’t be too ghastly.
    HE PRESSES DOORBELL. DOORBELL: BING BONG (BIRDIE SONG)
    DOOR IS FLUNG OPEN. PRESCOTT IS IN HAWAIIAN SHIRT.
    PRESCOTT:
    Alright Tone! Cherry!!
    PUSHES TONY ASIDE, GRABS CHERIE + GIVES HER HUGE SMACKER OF A KISS.
    PRESCOTT:
    Oy, I’ll have me Bubblicious back, cheeky!
    STICKS HIS HAND IN HER MOUTH, RETRIEVES GUM, PUTS IT BEHIND HIS EAR.
    TONY:
    Erm… this is for you John…
    HANDS OVER THE WINE. PRESCOTT LOOKS AT LABEL.
    PRESCOTT:
    Ooh lovely -- I think I’ve had this one before. Red wine isn’t it?
    CUT TO INTERIOR OF CHEZ PRESCOTT.
    LIVING ROOM WITH A WHOLE BAR IN IT. ON THE WALL THREE FLYING JAGUARS AND A FRAMED PICTURE OF PREZZA PUNCHING THAT BLOKE. WEDDING PICTURE OF PREZZA AND MRS. SIDEBURNS / FLARES ETC.
    PRESCOTT:
    Now then, how about a real drink? We’ve got both open –- beer or lager…
    PRESCOTT POURS BEER FROM A CAN INTO A SHERRY GLASS FOR CHERIE. CHERIE HAS FROZEN SMILE ON FACE. LOOKS AT CLOCK – ONE MINUTE PAST EIGHT.
    (NOTE: CLOCK IS MINIATURE BIG BEN CLOCK.)
    DISSOLVE THROUGH CLOCK TO DINNER TABLE
    PAN ACROSS EVERYONE SEATED AT THE DINNER TABLE. JOHN MID-JOKE…
    PRESCOTT:
    …And then the second nun says, ‘Yes it does, doesn’t it!’ D’ya get it?
    PRESCOTT LAUGHS UPROARIOUSLY.
    BLAIRS MAINTAIN EMBARRASSED SILENCE.
    PRESCOTT LOOKS OFF TO THE RIGHT
    PRESCOTT:
    Oop, grubs up! Hope you like Italian…
    TONY AND CHERIE GET ALL EXCITED.
    TONY:
    Si! Bella!
    CHERIE:
    La cucina Italiana!
    MRS PRESCOTT DUMPS FOUR PIZZA BOXES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE.TONY & CHERIE LOOK DISAPPOINTED.
    PRESCOTT:
    Bagsy the Meat Feast! How much was that then love?
    MRS PRESCOTT:
    Thirty six pounds.
    PRESCOTT:
    Let’s call it a tenner each.
    (STARTS EATING GREEDILY.)
    CHERIE & TONY WEAR FROZEN SMILES. THEY LOOK UP AT THE CLOCK…
    IT READS NINE O’CLOCK.
    SFX: ‘BONG’
    A TREVOR MACDONALD CUCKOO COMES OUT
    TREVOR CUCKOO:
    This is me, a cuckoo. Saying cuckoo.
    DISSOLVE THROUGH CLOCK TO:
    THEY HAVE FINISHED DINNER. CHERIE AND TONY ARE LOOKING DEEPLY DEPRESSED. MRS PRESCOTT IS LOOKING EMBARRASSED. PRESCOTT’S PART OF THE TABLE IS COVERED IN DEBRIS – PIZZA CRUST, BANANA SKINS, EMPTY ICE CREAM TUBS. FOOD ALL OVER HIS SHIRT.
    PRESCOTT TAKES THE LAST FERERO ROCHER AND PUTS THE WRAPPER ON TO PYRAMID OF FERERO ROCHER WRAPPERS. HE POPS IT IN HIS MOUTH.
    PRESCOTT:
    … and the second nun says – have I told you this one? --
    THERE IS A HEAVY SILENCE. CHERIE & TONY LOOK AT CLOCK EXPECTANTLY – THE MINUTE HAND REACHES TEN O’CLOCK. IMMEDIATELY TONY & CHERIE LEAP UP.
    SFX: BONG.
    TONY:
    Well, it’s been a lovely evening – but we really do have to go.
    CHERIE:
    Babysitter, you know…
    PRESCOTT RUBS HIS STOMACH HAPPILY AND BELCHES.
    PRESCOTT:
    What? You can’t leave yet.
    (LOOSENS TIE, TEARS SHIRT OPEN.)
    What about the wife-swapping?
    CLOSE UP ON CHERIE’S LOOK OF HORROR.
    END

    :clap::clap: :clap: :clap:
     
  2. :: Phat ::

    :: Phat :: Oooh shakalaka!

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    2dTV

    "The only hope is that they find a Plumber fish, they did, but he's booked up for the next 3 weeks" - a feelin' I know all to well!
     
  3. sarahmabel

    sarahmabel Guest

    cool santa man ! ! ! :clap: :clap:
     
  4. :: Phat ::

    :: Phat :: Oooh shakalaka!

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    Picture the scene....

    Im bored in work generally browsing the network drives when I stumble upon a file called Personnel2000.mdb so I take a look, and what do I find? Pictures of EVERY single person who works in the council, so I sit there, tapping the left key (in beat) while humming "who let the dogs out" after laughing manically at countless ulgy people and one who looks like Rod Steward *sideshowbob shudder* I come accross mr Santa shown in my Avatar, who incidentally works in the toy department, Im yet to stumble upon Santa or the "Toy Department" during my daily rounds but Here's Hoping
     
  5. Ubermich

    Ubermich He did it!

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    LOL! (Sorry, laughing at santa in the toy dept) Although, if it were I, I would've started swapping peoples' pictures. "Hrm, he looks kinda like Rod Steward, I wonder if anyone would notice if he were Rod Steward..." "Hrmmmm, he looks kinda like... Yes! An oompa loompa!!!" :D :p :D

    The script was slightly on the comical side, but I hope it's under 15 seconds if you want to keep my attention. See, you should've started with the wife-swapping, then gone through the rest...
     

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