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Education Yoghurt advice

Discussion in 'General' started by Porkins' Wingman, 26 Oct 2011.

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  1. BentAnat

    BentAnat Software Dev

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    +1 to what DeadPixels said... turn the chair around when the time comes, and pretend everything is normal.
    "Why's my chair upside down" - "It isn't... look" *Sit on upside down chair all f*** up*
    Pics of that (NOT your fapghurt) or GTFO.

    Alternatively, you could ask the woman of the house to help you with a yoghurt issue on the chair, then punch her in the gut so she spills it all on the chair.. .then she can clean it up... or help at least.

    *NB: the above is humerous, and I do not condone spilling yoghurt on other people's chairs... nor punching women in the gut...
     
  2. mvagusta

    mvagusta Did a skid that went for two weeks.

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    I think something is wrong with your yoghurt OP.

    I've spilt yoghurt everywhere, be it houses, hotels, cars, clothes, you name it, and every single time, any stains cleaned up without a trace, simply using some water.
    This applies to both male yoghurt and the female version, lets call that 'milk', and even for that special female variety, lets call that one 'tobasco sauce' - sometimes a bit of soap is also needed in this case however, but still, no permanent stains.

    An easy way out might be to spill some red wine or coca cola over the yoghurt stain, show the owner of the chair a pic, and offer to recover the chair.
     
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  3. Krikkit

    Krikkit All glory to the hypnotoad! Super Moderator

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    Oh my.

    Priceless thread, let's not make it too filthy folks!
     
  4. Porkins' Wingman

    Porkins' Wingman Can't touch this

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    mmmmm.... tobasco sauce - om nom nom nom :blush:

    But I reject any notion that there may be something wrong with my 'yoghurt'. Who's to say there isn't something fantastically right about my 'yoghurt' but that we are yet to fully understand its powers?

    Some people like to say their 'yoghurt' pot is half-empty; I prefer to say my 'yoghurt' pot is half-full.

    The lady of the house's mother and sister are visiting this weekend to help sort our house out. The chances of being found out about my 'yoghurt' habits are increasing alarmingly - will have to try out some vanish asap.
     
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  5. heh-

    heh- curses.

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    I would think that only a yoghurt connoisseur would be able to tell a yoghurt stain from any other stain. So unless the lady's mother and sister are particularly deviant with their yoghurt habits, I wouldn't worry to much about your dairy based over excitement being revealed.

    Also be careful with the vanish - that can sometimes bleach.
     
  6. Guest-16

    Guest-16 Guest

    AH-HAHAHA I don't even want to imagine how long this would take. Unless you've been gifted super sized pots. :worried:

    Best thread ever. Thanks for the laugh. :thumb:

    BWHAHAHAAA *tears*
     
  7. Da_Rude_Baboon

    Da_Rude_Baboon What the?

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    You could try this, leave the windows open and see if enough flys will gather to lift the thing away.


    You never heard of the one eyed yoghurt lobber before? :D

    On a serious note I would use car upholstery cleaning shampoo.
     
  8. DeadP1xels

    DeadP1xels Social distancing since 92

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    Or make a stain to take the eye away from the 'yoghurt' like brown sauce... (now im thinking weird stuff...)

    ;D

    If not then theres only one thing left to do and thats burn the entire house down to the ground.


    (lulz at the thing under your name)
     
  9. Parge

    Parge the worst Super Moderator

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    Buy a hand held steam cleaner! My housemate got mouth yogurt from drinking too much all over his carpet, nothing got it (or the smell) out until the steam cleaner got involved.
     
  10. TheKrumpet

    TheKrumpet Once more, into the breach!

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    Never stop posting :'D.

    On-topic: Does the 'yoghurt'-stained chair not have removable cushion covers? Washing machine Cheesecake. In lieu of that, you'd best get scrubbing.
     
  11. mvagusta

    mvagusta Did a skid that went for two weeks.

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    Wait, am I the only one who's 'yoghurt' does not have bleaching capabilities?!?!? :worried:
     
  12. Carrie

    Carrie Multimodder

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    Try steam cleaning the entire chair since it's probably had other "spillages" or dirt on it.

    Failing that this vvv

    or die trying :hehe:
     
  13. Ljs

    Ljs Modder

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    .
     
    Last edited: 27 Oct 2011
  14. Porkins' Wingman

    Porkins' Wingman Can't touch this

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    Update:

    With the lady of the house having gone out for the morning I recognised this was my chance to experiment, so I was intending to go for the yoghurt all over the seat solution first.

    So there I was, yoghurt pot in hand, primed and ready, but just as I reached the point of no return an invisible force, or mental block, or something, would not let me deliberately fire yoghurt all over an item of furniture - it just felt inconceivable to do such a thing.

    Unfortunately I had not foreseen this issue and was left with no choice but to abort the mission.

    However, I'd already initiated the launch procedure and take-off was unavoidable. Out of natural instinct my free hand shot into play (rather reminiscent of the Millennium Falcon during the Battle of Yavin) and made a stoic attempt to form a canopy over the yoghurt pot.

    Regrettably the release of yoghurt was more powerful than my initial calculations had allowed and there was a significant amount of yoghurt overshoot - too much for my hand-canopy to handle. Gravity took over and now we are dealing with an extra problem - yoghurt on trousers.

    Things are looking up though, as I believe I have encountered the yoghurt on trouser issue before and have triumphed with conventional cleaning methods. This episode has therefore given me a new-found confidence in the cleaning idea and I am heading to the cleaning cupboard now.
     
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  15. BentAnat

    BentAnat Software Dev

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    Wow... the information in that post was almost a little too much... "Yoghurt Canopy" *shudder*

    MV: I am confident that the Yoghurt I have doesn't irreversably stain anything... that much ammonia in yoghourt should make the lady of the house screaam...
     
  16. flame696

    flame696 Terminating People Since 1980....

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    it makes me feel happy that I have a member of the opposite sex that has the tools to cope with yoghurt and has a special container where I can deposit the yoghurt on a nightly basis. No fuss no mess just bliss! :naughty::worried::worried:
     
  17. Porkins' Wingman

    Porkins' Wingman Can't touch this

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    And so you should. But is your member of the opposite sex 7 months pregnant and someone who's been coping with your yoghurt for 10 years?

    If not, then should you ever find yourself in that situation you might occasionally be tempted to keep your yoghurt to yourself on the odd occasion.
     
  18. .//TuNdRa

    .//TuNdRa Resident Bulldozer Guru

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    I honestly don't know how to react to this thread.

    I'm not sure if I should be cowering in fear for what us men are becoming, or cheering him on to victory.
     
  19. enterobsidian

    enterobsidian Hopless World Wonderer

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    And not on a chair....................
     
  20. flame696

    flame696 Terminating People Since 1980....

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    Well I have been married for 8 years and since the yoghurt is very potent I have 3 young ones but it still won't stop me I love the deposit box can't get enough :D
     
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