For the most part, I have a pretty thick skin. Sometimes though the trash talk can get annoying and it can wear on a person. Depending on how I was feeling at the time (this was in World of Warcraft), if some stupid adolescent (no bearing on actual age) would start in with, "Suck my <whatever>," I felt justified to retort, "If only we could find it. Someone hand me a magnifying glass."
Naah, you need an electron microscope. Basically MMORPGs make money by providing fun. No fun = no money. If you want to expand your business and profit, you have to keep attracting new players and if these get pwned as soon as they log on by the old-timers, that's a howling desert of No Fun right there. On the other hand if you make the game too easy and too accessible it becomes boring, and that is also No Fun. So it has to have a incremental challenge space: relatively safe arenas for the noobs and increasingly difficult ones for the hardened gamers, carefully ramped so the next level up is tantalisingly only just out of reach. It has to be difficult, but not frustratingly so. It has to be challenging, but a challenge that can be met. That's how you keep them hooked, and keep them paying.
First point: Verbal abuse (raging) against other players is bullying, there is no distinction to be made in my mind. Verbal abuse is often much more damaging to a person than physical acts of bullying too. Just because there is no physical contact between the abuser and the victim, it doesn't make the act any less damaging. There simply is no need for online warriors to vent online, and it shows a distinct lack of maturity when one does so. Second point: So we should expect tirades of verbal abuse from other players because we don't meet to their expectations, in terms of ability or teamwork? It's OK to write it off as harmless and meaningless because some highly strung players don't know where the line is, or don't care where the line is? Third point: Yes the ethos of gaming has become somewhat sullied due to the online warriors. When I got into gaming, it was because it was an enjoyable and rewarding pastime. It still is for me over thirty years later. That is until I go online on many of the FPS'es or even the RTS'es, and end up listening to a bunch of people all competing to be the biggest dick on the server. It spoils the experience for many, and that is something any "gamer" who rages at other gamers should be wholly ashamed of.
I don't think the "harden up or get out" advice works when abuse against women players is so widespread and severe (check out the stuff in OP - it's horrific). You're basically saying "online games are not for women." As male players, it's also quite likely you've heard a lot of sexualised violence directed at your mom. Why do these muppets have such issues with women? There's plenty of examples here. It's a lot harder to shrug off griefing when you're getting messages outside of the game, or the abusive chump brings his dude-bros into it and you're being harassed on multiple fronts. If abuse and bullying (that's what it is, 'specially when it follows you off the server) are "part of the culture" then it's a culture I want no part of. Like many here, I've not played online for a long time, and I can't say I miss it. Perhaps the "culture" is the reason why.
The interesting twist in all of this is the kitchen. One of the popular insults against women is to tell them to get back in the kitchen, the idea being that a kitchen is a nice gentle place for women with soft skin. My wife likes to watch cooking competition shows, and after seeing a few it struck me how many women were competing to prove the point that women could make it in the demanding, abusive, male-dominated kitchen environment. So, I guess telling a women she belongs in the kitchen could be seen as a compliment.
I certainly believe it has nothing to do with sexism, except for a few who may just be sexists both on and offline. It's exactly as you say: whatever makes you different is what people will notice and target. If a distinctly feminine voice turns on chat there's a very noticable trait with a wealth of staple jokes behind it. Even someone trying to be abusive and cause harm likely isn't trying to be sexist per se, they're just targetting the one thing they know about the person. That's not to say that plenty of those comments are horribly offensive or take things too far, it's just about their intentions. A large part of the problem in my mind is that not everyone is on the same page when it comes to what can be expected in an online game. Some players expect everything to be "family friendly" while others expect things to be "anything goes". All too often in games there's no way to clarify which to expect or to separate these two types of players, or if there is it's often too late such as in the case of ignore features or admin/moderators banning. The best thing to do when playing an online game is to remember that you're on the internet: proceed with caution. Don't just hop in somewhere and expect everyone to accomodate your desires. Look at server rules, find a place where you won't be with others that will ruin your time. Or the opposite sometimes, don't go places where you'll ruin the time of others. I'm very much an "anything goes" gamer where possible and try to actively seek places and players who are the same way and understand that any comments made are good fun. Some of my best times gaming include some very harsh converation. It'd be a shame to have that spoiled by bad experiences of others caused by gamers who don't understand when, where and how much when trash talking.
There is a difference between raging and say 'You damn NooB, can't you see you are feeding the other team?!' and verbal abuse about sex, color and whatever else. Don't compare physical abuse with gaming raging, a gamer bored of talkshit can ALT+F4 at any time he please. I think you are overrating the whole thing. Yes, you should expect that. That's a matter of fact that the virtual world is much more agressive then the real one when it comme of bitching. [/QUOTE] Close the chat, turn off the mic and just play instead of listening to others. Its that simple
I think you are underestimating the whole thing. Anyone who has tried online MP knows that 9 times out of 10 it doesn't just stop at 'You damn NooB, can't you see you are feeding the other team?!', it usually goes further than this. Even without that point, would it not be better to try and help a "noob", by offering to help, or even trying to encourage more team ethics? This can work well on servers, and I know this because we used to do the exact same thing on our own BF2 server. Surely this would be more fitting of the gaming ethos than childish outbursts like the one you mentioned? Have you also considered the fact that not everyone joins an online game to be the l33t, uberskilled player many seem to want to be, or consider themselves to be? Some go on to break the monotony of the day, and just to kick back and relax in an escapist activity? No I shouldn't expect it at all. If I pay for the privilege of playing online, then I should not have to expect it at all. If this is your line of thinking, then I feel for you. Why should one have to? If they bought the game, and a feature of that game is the online voice aspect, then surely one has the right to be able to use that feature without having to put up with pre-pubescent kids acting out their envisioned parts in games in the real world?
At what point has a game given you reason to expect anything of the online community? Most specifically state that online play may vary and that the developer has little to no influence on it. You are entering an area which has limited rules of conduct, if any at all. You should at least be aware that anything which isn't forbidden may happen and seek out a place to play that includes rules you like. You want the right to use voice chat (something every other player has paid to get access to) but want that right to also restrict how others use the very same chat? Interesting.
This right/privilege you speak of, what is its origin? Within the context of online gaming/internet it sounds a little pompous. The beauty of the web is (if sadly probably not forever) the breaking down of social barriers and uncontrolled mixing of different people of all ages, sexes, sizes, ethnicities, sexualities etc. - in 20 years it has done so much for social integration, for improving understanding between what were traditionally fairly distinct, separated, social groups. And yet it sounds like you would rather go against all that and have servers that restrict membership, erect barriers etc. If little kids are raging and cursing then the best thing to demonstrate to them is that, whatever nonsense they choose to spout, it really doesn't matter, instead of giving their words power by taking offence. I won't go on cos there are enough threads around here with me babbling about the futility and counter-productiveness of getting upset by swear words and empty insults.
I would want to see in game chat moderated, in order to filter out abusive users, and I think the benefits are obvious and far outweigh the implications of doing so. As an example, the moderators here act much the same way as the moderators on our server did. If an abusive user is identified, they are warned. If they persist in the behaviour they were warned about, then they lose access. Why should someone who has paid for access be prepared and willing to become subject to abuse, just to keep using the service?I find that more interesting.
It's great that servers/clans/guilds/etc like that exist for almost every game. If only more people would seek them out. It would certainly help prevent a lot of the thinner skinned players from getting offended by swimming in the deep end. Because, quite simply, that "abuse" is fun. Those of us who either don't take offense from attempted abuse or like to have rough (but playful) trashtalk are free to enjoy ourselves specifically because gaming environments which allow anything exist. In the type of environment I like to play an infuriated verbal attack against a player is most likely cause a hilarious response like in Scirocco's post above than actually upsetting anyone. It's exciting and dynamic.
I couldn't tell you a number, but they have a fairly expansive game moderator (GM) network. No one's constantly watching or listening, but players can be reported for language or behaviour. It's similar to most other games without privately owned servers (LoL, for example). In this type of setting there are some rules provided by the developer and a somewhat reasonable community can be expected. This has its ups and downs. There's less risk of someone wandering into a savage and rough environment and there's no need for players to create or enforce rules or restrictions. One the downside there's less immediately control in the player's hands: you can only ignore and hope the moderators dish out some punishment based on your report. There's also typically no option for players to voluntarily enjoy unmoderated gameplay, you just have to make sure you're with only players who won't put in a report which can be a downside.
Do you know what the really sad thing about all of this is? The ones who don't stop raging and abusing people when they exit the game. You might be surprised at how often women can be subjected to the crap spewing from cretins' mouths on the street. Yes, there are those who understand the "appropriate" place and time. There are many who have no clue there exist places and times when it is not appropriate.
The only game that gets me angry is L4D2, some people are absolutely awful and that has a direct impact on how well we do as an online team. Thankfully we can kick the players that don't listen or pay attention.
My experience with XBL to date has been horrifying. I only play Halo games (99% H:Reach at the moment) on XBL but I know the attitude of players on all XBL matchmaking multiplayer games is pretty much the same. I could write a book about what is wrong with the people who ruin the games and the way in which they do so. In my experience, online PC gaming with dedicated servers is much more civilized although still not really civilized at all, but at least there's something you can do about it - leave the game and join a different server, or contact a server admin and have the douchebag who is ruining the game kicked or banned. On XBL, in matchmade games, you can get any random player from any corner of the globe, and literally 7 times out of 10 on Halo Reach I get at least one childish kid or angry/raging/rubbish player on my team. It ruins the experience for everyone and in an 8v8 Big Team Battle on Reach, that's a lot of unhappy gamers. I'm not even talking about verbal abuse either - unsporting conduct is something that is rife in H:R and it's almost out of control at times. There are people who will actually get into a matchmade game with 15 other people and commit suicide or teamkill their teammates persistently so that their team loses that game. I've seen this happen dozens of times in MP Matchmaking on Reach in the short 7 months that I've been playing it. The problem with this on XBL is that you don't have the option to get rid of those team members that you have with PC games. There are no server admins to message on Steam chat or Xfire - nobody is going to help you get rid of the douchebag who is shooting you in the head or running over you in a warthog, or grabbing power weapons and jumping off the map. If he/she happens to teamkill 3 people within a certain amount of time (an hour and more than 1 per game, I think) then someone will get the option to kick them, but that system is spongy and 343 Industries have done nothing to improve it since the start of the year. Because of this, I have built up a decent number of friendly, skilled and down to earth players on my XBL friends list in the past 6 months who range from 15-30 years old, are both male and female and come from all over the world - Canada, America, UK, Sweden, Holland etc. Most of the time, I add them or they add me because we play well together and come across as decent players to one another. It's gotten to the point where I will rarely go searching for a game on my own, I'll almost always party up with at least one or two of these players before getting involved in a game. It not only increases my chances of winning the game, it increases the enjoyment as well. I'd rather go into a Big Team Battle with my friends "Oasiiis" and "Pink Princess" (two members, male and female, from a UK gaming community) than with 7 random people who could cause any one of the problems I mentioned above. Playing together as a team within the team, the three of us can counteract another 2 or 3 people on our own team who are behaving like idiots, purposefully trying to lose the game or just downright rubbish. In short, I got bored with PC gaming back at Christmas time. I was only playing CS:S and despite still being in touch with plenty of clan and community members who play it, I was tiring of it pretty fast. I got H:Reach and started playing and enjoying it, and I have hardly played anything on the PC since. I still think that XBL has the greatest number of people conforming to the "John Gabriel Greater Internet Dickwad Theory" than any other gaming network on the planet, though. It's full of 'em It's not like I won't go back to PC gaming again... That's inevitable! I'm just enjoying Reach so much at the moment, for the most part
Or maybe SHE'S a saint? But... While gaming I've never dished out any abuse, that doesn't make me a saint. You don't have to be saintly to not be nasty. By expecting everyone to have been abusive you're accepting that bullying, cruelty and victimisation is legitimate and 'normal'. It's a culture thing. The 'gamer' community has a very high degree of raging within it, and within that there is some pretty nasty sexism as well. It's not everywhere but where it exists it can get pretty grim... Especially if us girls dare to attempt to play Minecraft! Because online abuse of strangers is normal, expected and for so many 'fun' it continues to be an issue for those on the receiving end. I think violent sexism in gaming is a very small issue. I've never received any, and I've never seen it dished out. I also believe that if any was given out, you'd get a but of 'Out of order mate' on the chat, and then everyone would continue to play with the abuser as if nothing happened.
I will openly admit that I'm an absolute douchebag when I'm playing games, and I behave in a manner more fitting that of a child than a mature man of Eighteen years of age. The issue is simply that I don't control my temper. I'm not going to claim that I hate loosing, I hate loosing where I can't prevent it, where my every action to try and prevent it sends me further down the drain. it infurates me to the point where i'll just start trash talking so much crap that I might as well become a Politican. The difference is in my reactions beyond that point. Should someone start raging back; I'll usually agree with a good third of what they have to say. I can accept grief, I just can't take it when I'm being walked all over because I'm simply not skilled enough or don't have the team to be able to turn thing around. Although as some of the people from the BF3 mumble may know; I can get pretty damn irked over voice, too. Although I try and keep myself reasonably within check, although I swear more than the average sailor. I suspect many of you have seen what happened to my previous monitor when my temper goes from sh!t talk to physical violence, though. I really need to find a better outlet. I can understand both sides of the issue, though. Part of it is just sh!t talk, while a few others, much like myself, tend to do it more as an outlet, simply because they don't want to have to accept they've gone too far, put the mouse/keyboard/controller/small child down and walk away. The sheer numbers of people I've seen cussing others out just because they've lost, however, is absolutely ridiculous. I can understand a little friendly needling, but it's often taken too far. I wouldn't say we should Ban or just outright refuse the chat access to those that crap talk, but I feel there should be some form of limiting factor in place. The issue would only lie in creating a system which couldn't be abused to remove privileged from people whom don't deserve just punitive measures.
