LOL Idiotic things customers/people have said to you

Actually I smile all day at the tossers who know less than me

 

3 years of working for the jobcentre taking new claims has given me many, many stories to tell. None of which, unfortunately, I'm able to say.

 

Muhahahahaha, my secret plan is working

And no Sir we only have one in stock, I will have to ring Tim-Buk-Too where our main office is to see if I can source another one. I think the AMD fairies may have run out of 775 dust though so I'm not hopeful.

 

We're all duly authorised agents of other governmental departments, who by law, you are able to share confidential information with. Gogogo!

 

Guessing is the sports store, when we had one in Newcastle I bought a page of blue Nike trainers, I dont know the name of them but they look like Adidas Samba's in a kind of blue suede maybe. I never found them again to buy a second pair, i loved them. This is also your fault.

 

Actually I am with another government department and he's not able to share that information in this medium. Oh the stories I could tell about work... and ex-Ministers... and ex-employees...

I like my job too much to do that though. Perhaps in 30 years when the files become public.

 

Jarra Xilofono Bebe Mama Kilo Dedo

 

X is for eggs and bacon, everyone knows that silly

 

I still haven't forgotten the old guy who did what Scotty did in the Stark Trek Movie buy picking up the mouse of a PC and asking it to write a letter for him. Oh dear lol.

 

The Cockney Alphabet? (A is for 'orses, B for mutton, C for yerself...)

 

Bull! If the customer asks for the most basic head phones you do, then he has already qualified what he wants.

If he asks for some headphones, then yes you need to ask a question to establish what to advise him on. as its a generic request, opposed to the specific one he made.

Anyway he asked for headphones not a Wired Headset,

also if i go and buy something and someone starts asking me what i am going to use it with ill be a bit like, whats it to you?

 

Exactly. If you start questioning what they will be using something for they are inclined to get annoyed when all they want to do is pay for it; if they had said "I want some headphones for my blackberry/ mobile phone", then you might have guessed they were after a headset/ hands-free kit. If they just ask for headphones with no context, how are you supposed to know or guess differently ( because half the people in that situation would respond with "if I wanted a headset, I'd ask for one..." ).


If I went into a shop and asked for pack of paper, I wouldn't come back later and complain I wasn't given glossy photo paper for printing digital photos on, it is the customer's responsibility to know what they are after, or provide some clues to the poor shopkeeper to help them help the customer make an informed choice. I wish I had my own shop....

 

Part of the problem nowadays is that some customers firmly believe that they are entitled to compensation for something being exactly as it was designed to be and serve the purpose it was designed for but not meeting their expectations, either becuase their expectations were too high or they simply didn't RTFM. The vast majority of customers are reasonable but it's the 1% or so that act like sanctimonious pricks and ruin it for the rest.

With regards to being asked what I want something for when in a shop, I would be inclined to respond that it isn't their business as it usually precedes an attempt to sell me something that I neither want nor need. Saying that though, I do try to give advice to customers regarding systems if they indicate that they are looking for a replacement. However, I ask if they have anything in mind and need any assistance, not assume that they don't know what they want.

Back to the silliness, I had a colleague hold up a print out this morning and ask "Who sent this to us?" I indicated the signature block on the bottom of the page as it was a print out of an email

A typical support call from one of our web designers, PC wouldn't power on. His colleague had kicked the power lead out and he never thought to check if it was plugged in...

"My computer is broken" "Can you be more specific about the nature of the problem please?" "No, that's why I'm calling you! Fix it!" I'm psychotic rather than psychic and my balls are gristle not crystal (yes, both lines have been used and it wasn't particularly professional of me on either occasion but it did get the message across rather clearly).

 

Working in a cinema, Guy in his late 20s comes out of the toilets looking perplexed. He tells me he wants to speak to a manager, so my manager comes down. Guy takes my manager into the toilets. They emerge a few minutes later with my boss looking like he really wants to laugh... but can't. Cause the customers right there. Anyway, eventually the customer leaves, after my manager clearly reassures him several times. As soon as the guys out of sight, my boss breaks out laughing. We ask him what it was about... apparently the customer thought there was a camera recording him from the ventilation grill above the cubilcle toilet.

Shortly after this the cinema removed its box office, so you could buy tickets at the concession stand. This apparently was too much thought for some people, as was reading one of the 27 signs we'd stuck up, so the question "where do you buy your tickets?" basically got a reflex response. I saw several people come up the stairs into the foyer, look around very confused, then walk out again. Even if there were queues at the very visible concession stands.

Then theres always the little brats trying to sneak in. Some of the crap they came out with was pure moronic, sitting in a showing of big nothing by myself and 2 of them come in, clearly about 13. I text my boss, let them sit for a few minutes then yell at them to get out. Boss caught them outside. Another day I saw one trying to pry a one way door open to sneak in. He saw me and hid behind it. I came up and kicked it open, scared the crap out of him, must've gotten about an inch from his face, and didn't see the brat again.

Apparently some people thought we could make colour film movies black and white, like sin city.

Some of the stuff our bosses came out with was worse though. They thought 300 wouldn't be a big film. They also withdrew hearing and visually impaired services, and effectively banned disabled people from some showings by rebuilding 1/4 of the screens without wheelchair bays.

 

I ****ing hate this in cinemas. Why the hell do I have to queue up among the obese morons buying buckets full of sugar and msg and hot dogs that look old enough to see an 18 certificate film for 20 minutes just to buy a ticket?

 

So they can make more money. Why else?

 

greg and blarte, do you two wanna settle that 'not so covert' attacking each other somewhere else? Ya both making the place look untidy

 

wtf?

 

Can only advise on the information you have been given : )

At work we have a class set of 20 iPods, which of course came with the classic white ear buds.

I had a hard time convincing them to not let the kids use the ear buds and to buy proper headphones for listening to podcasts etc.

They couldn’t see the harm in letting multiple students insert the same thing into each ear.

Then again, most senior management are only good for pushing paper around a desk!