My girl friends brother had to move out of his flat back into his girl friends mothers home, so his dad put all the items in his people carrier. On Monday he said i could have the items so i went yeah that'd be good. Then on Tuesday he said "we have a wardrobe a table and other things" i told my girl friend to tell him we don't need another wardrobe we already have 3. She told him and he said well i'm going to drop it off anyway. I told her we don't need another wardrobe we don't have the space. I have a small car i can't just get rid of things when i want. She burst out crying and said "everyones always moaning at me" I replied well i can't tell your dad myself so what am i meant to do? Today comes, We have to be at her doctors for a jab by 11am so we stop at hers quickly just up the road from it at 10.52 and say we'll be back to collect the things after as we didn't need the wardrobe we could fit the rest in the car. He starts instantly moaning at her and being nasty. We jump in the car i drop her to the doctors and tell her we don't need any thing from the van if anything. I said I'll tell your dad, she replies don't you sit in the car and i'll lift it all into the car. I drop her to the doctors after a argument, drive up knock on her dads door tell him, To take all the stuff to the charity shop or tip, i don't care, i don't want it, its causing too much bother! and come home... Now i don't know if i've gone wrong. firstly it seems like hes dumping all his extra stuff on me just to get it out of his way. I've also left her at the doctors so she's got to go home after and face him in a minute not knowing i've spoken to him. Also i don't like the fact that he goes "I have stuff for you" then the next day is moaning at her to get it moved.
Sounds like the brother is wanting to store stuff at your place and then would prob want it back? You did the right thing I wouldnt want a gaff full of someone elses cast offs. He is moving it is his problem.
No wrong or right. Just depends what sort of relationship you want with her family. If you want to nurture it then it's good to look for opportunities where you can do them favours. But if you don't want them taking advantage then hold firm. Your choice.
Probably, couldn't care less though. He makes her upset so much now for no damn reason i haven't got the time of day for him anymore. lol'd at popped a blood vessel. Kinda, Well they were giving us the stuff for free apparently including all the stuff we don't want and can't store. Porkins' Wingman thanks Instead of going "what things do you need" her dad just wanted to dump the lot on me to get it out of his way. Monday : Evo thingys moved out his flat into his girl friends parents house you can have all his stuff Tuesday : Phones my girl friend over skype moaning about the stuff still being in his van (she burst out crying) despite only asking me if i wanted the things a day before! Wednesday : Drives to pick up things, he moans and shouts at her once again this time in person because she was going to take a extra 10 minutes, due to a doctors appointment. Things will now become awkward because generally speaking he's an impatient moron.
Look after your gf and yourself first then others later. I would have taken the stuff and sold it all on ebay. A week wouldnt hurt too much. The rest just take down the tip during a few trips. Im not being funny here but is your girlfriend over sensitive or is her dad a plonker? If theyre dumping stuff on you for a free storage. Don't accept any and refuse them to bring it into the house. I'm half and half with this theres no right or wrong. Be nice or stand your ground but support your gfriend with her decisions.
Stand your ground. If you don't want his crap, tell him, but politely. If he's going to hate you forever more for not wanting a wardrobe, then he's not worth knowing.
I'm with Nealie. And you should care a little more, it's called trying to better yourself. Everyone should be doing it Girlfriend is one word. Even the limited-English foreign national primary school kids I see at work every day know this
This all depends on whether you want to maintain some kind of relationship or not. Families can fall out over the most stupid things. Remember you might not be bothered but she will be. I would have said I have no room for the wardrobe, but offered to go the dump with him to help him dispose of it. Worst way you accept and break it into pieces and take the dump. He is probably thinking that this is a job lot I.e. you accept it all or nothing. Next time think carefully about where things might go. Hard work I know but when you love a woman you have to learn to put up with the in laws.
I would have checked if said wardrobe is better than any of my current wardrobes and swap and dispose of the worst one. Or just tell her brother to shut the f**k up and sort his stuff on his own and leave his sister out of it.
Ah, the problem of "should" thinking. Perhaps her brother thinks that he shouldn't just throw stuff away (and perhaps indeed he wants to keep the option open to have it back later). He just wants someone else to take responsibility for it right now because he has a lot on his mind. Your girlfriend thinks that she shouldn't displease and upset her family or boyfriend and feels caught in the middle. My guess is that she will be OK now you've taken the responsibility for managing this tricky issue out of her hands. She may worry that you upsetting her brother may come back at her, but just tell her that if they start moaning at her to pass them on to you and you'll deal with it. The whole thing will blow over by Christmas.
If you do end up getting lumbered with her brothers stuff and there is no sign of him collecting it... rather than fuss about with ebay listings/fees/delivery stuff, just shift it via Freecycle instead. Then someone would just take it off your hands..... simples.
If being a nice guy involves me filling my place with unwanted stuff from all her family... Guess i'm not going to be a nice guy any more then and hopefully it'll blow over and they'll realise they can't just flick there fingers and have me running around for them. I told her that i'd speak to her dad my self and she said "No" Don't" and made it pretty clear that she didn't want me to. Then i was stuck in a position where i couldn't moan at her because she would break down and "cry" and i couldn't speak to him because it would make her angry and she wouldn't pass on my message of "we don't need the things because he would moan at her even more. The other night when she was at mine talking to him on skype, he was shouting at her. I told her to disconnect and ignore him. She wouldn't and ended up crying. She said if she disconnected he would of phoned the house phone and shouted at her even more to which i replied i'll have a word with him then. He's got a record of doing this though and when he does both his sons just ignore him for awhile. She can easily do this if she wanted too but she chooses not too. fml
Mother was the same to me recently, Just told her to f* off and I've cut connection with her. What's the point in trying to have a day to day relationship with somebody who doesn't give one? No love lost!
The variation of responses in this thread should stand as a shining example of why you should never ask for relationship advice on the internet, no matter how much you think of Bit-tech forumites as friends. Having said that, after reading the original post I couldn't shake the feeling that I was in high school again. Out of curiosity, is this the same girl from the epic thread of threads? If so, I doubt this little tiff will have any lasting effect on your relationship. I don't suppose you could store any of the stuff in your safe?
Totally agree, generally when you prove to someone you don't need them or cut contact they either disappear or start being nice. Nothing wrong with getting a few extra view points on something and no it isn't the same girl. We still speak but it generally involves me telling her how to do tech stuff like plugging her xbox into a hdtv using the hd cable.
I only managed to read part of as it was a bit too much but got the idea that the family of your mrs wants to dump her brothers shite at your house as a storage place. Tell them you have no room and if they do it you will stick it out on the street with a "free" sign on the stuff..problem solved. You can choose your friends but you cant choose your family - This also applies to the Mrs family too i am afraid.
