I set up a joint account - Everyone pays the same amount into it each month, via standing order. I then set all the bills to come out of this account. When having discussions about rent, i am transparant about what it costs to keep the flat going (having all bills come out of one account makes that easy). Might be worth considering?
I'm shocked that people in their mid 20s can be so selfish as to scrounge from friends so much - time to kick him out. He's been earning and decided the pub is a better recipient of his income than his responsibilities, so time to go. Check the rental agreement - he may not be allowed to stay anyway. Otherwise, you're 26? I was that old when the flat share thing started getting tiring. Start planning your escape. Transfer some of the bills to your mate's names so you're not left with too much exposure after you leave. Get leaving into the rental contract (so do it at the end of the year, or get the lodger to take your slot). On the day you leave call the remaining utility companies saying that you've left (you've got the end of the rental agreement as evidence) so they get the letters to restart the contracts. It's a toughie but you'll all be better for it - if you earn more, you'll want to do stuff they can't and it'll become more apparent as you get older. I'm late thirties. I own a house (with the GF) and a flat but i've still got friends in flat shares. They've had plenty of chance to buy, but insisted on only looking at expensive places they couldn't afford instead of starting low, and decided that going out for £200 meals was their choice instead. It's not my job to judge their choices, but equally not mine to bail them out. I nearly got into your situation when my flat was empty and a friend asked to live there for free 'for a month' .. it was a year before she got work so glad I said no. Good luck with what ever you do, but i'd say getting him out asap is the only immediate solution, unless you all agree to split ALL bills and the rent four ways, starting now
Damn that did make me sound like a mean fkr. I don't think I'm being too harsh on the guest - He's had opportunity to payback what he's taken but has chosen not to - not quite sure why the op should support him after that? As for my friend, during her year off she repeatedly turned down work as not good enough but expected others to pick up her costs. Just adding my 2cents - I've seen this a few times ( including in the gf's family) and seen people play fair (by doing chores etc to pay for the board) and others takes the piss. This case looks like the latter. I think the op has been incredibly generous (paying the council tax alone is like giving each a tenner each and every week). If he's paying more on top to cover the guest he needs to sort it out or is just gonna get more and more pissed off with the situation, unless he's a complete saint (and it sounds like he's half way there already).
Well, I had a chat with my housemates on saturday, about how I bought this up 3 weeks ago, and they were both adament he was sorting himself out, but in the last 3 weeks he is no closer financially or mentally it would appear to getting closer to sorting himself out. My housemates were both completely in agreement with me this time around, so we told him its not working anymore. He is going back to his folks today, I guess to ask for a lifeline or something, but I have told him we cant really have him staying here on the same basis when he is back, as in, he cant stay here. It's got to the point, where its not really even about the money, stupid little things are annoying me and at the end of the day i'd rather a bit of grief now that losing a friend. I think the straw that broke the camels back, is, I buy stupidly expensive espresso coffee, I go to the shop, i look at the beans, I pick some and they grind it to my specification - it's a little treat, which i thoroughly enjoy. And, I it's about a tenner for 300g, and I realsed, I only went to the lovely coffee shop a few days ago, and I had only had one cup of nice coffee (ie. espresso - i percolate, so if im in a rush i have different coffee in a cafetiere) because I have been working in London every day,and I went to have some Saturday evening when I got in from London, and there is basically none. It really really grinded on me, that I was out working 60 odd hours last week, while he was sat in my house drinking my coffee and costing me money. I guess fatigue and stress got the better of me last week, but hey ho, he is moving out and I can stop getting bitter and aggy inside. It really saddens me a bit that people I know and consider to be my friends can be so selfish without realising it. It still shocks me that he hasnt once thought maybe it would be good for him to put some food on the table, just a token gesture, even if he can't cook none of us are any slouches all he had to do was provide some ingredients! It's crazy that in nearly 5 months, his contribution has amounted to the odd loaf of bread and some washing up.
Kick the wastrel out. In five months he could have done so many things: got a job, learned to cook, take on household chores, saved some money, looked for some accommodation, squared something out with his parents. He had choices besides sitting in a pub or on your settee. gagaga is right, by the way: as soon as someone asks you to live in your flat for free you need to worry. A responsible friend will offer at least a token ammount of money, or some favour in return (e.g. doing up the place). An empty flat is an asset that can be rented out. gagaga woul not just be giving up his flat, but several hundred pounds rent money. So it's a big ask.
It is sad when you have to accept that some friends are not really your friends but in this case you've done as right by him as you could possibly be asked to. You broached the subject with your previously less than understanding flat mates who can now see things from your point of view and appreciate you haven't been being selfish and uncaring regarding his plight and have been being generous to them too. So ... sad ... but wave him on his way.
Just read through all this and it seems you went down a the right line, even if it were a bit more generous than i would have been myself! Glad it seems to be sorted thought
Meant to add this the other day but forgot - following on from bdigital's suggestion of a joint bank account - you would need to be careful with this as joint bank accounts can hurt your credit rating (i.e. if the person you're joint with has a poor rating then it can impact on you).
Reading the thread you bent over backwards to help a mate and had it thrown back in your face! The coffe incodent would have been the last straw for me as it just shows a total lacl of respect. Learn from it, move on but dont feel guilty you did everything you could to help and sometimes you've got to be cruel to be kind
I'm the cuckoo here ! I pay £200 per month for a room, and pay the electricity/gas bill as well. I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for my sister's help. I may have to move 56 miles back to the city I grew up in to find a job, and that leaves nothing left at the end of month to have any sort of life with, c'est la vie ! dunx
I got the same idea... also... the hairy hobbit feet everytime I see a post. If you did live there... I would probably mooch off you too.
