Idiot seeks girl advice on computer forum

So basically I'm in this situation and I just wondered what you guys all think about it.

There's this girl. We'll call her Carla. Basically she's a year below me at uni, so was a fresher last year. We got talking at the student bar where I work and then started dating, and carried on for two months or so.

As an aside, I should just point out that I'm not really a relationship person. I dunno what it is, whether I don't like getting that close to someone or whether I get sick of spending so much time with one person, but it just gets to me somehow.

Largely based on this aspect of my personality, I broke up with her just before Christmas. The bad thing is, since then we've been seeing each other occasionally, and also done a large amount of the horizontal monster mash (family forum!). Thing is, I'm sure she still really wants to be with me. I've told her it's not on the cards, and she's said she's happy just seeing me occasionally and having a bit of fun, because she'd rather do that than not see me, but I'm worried that it's not doing her any good. So what should I do? Basically as I see it my options are a) carry on as I am, see her sometimes and have fun not worrying about how she's feeling as it's her choice what she does, I'm not leading her on etc, b) still be friends but not go further with her (I'm unsure as to how able I would be to do this, due to us regularly being in close proximity when intoxicated, and her tendency to try it on in these situations), or c) cut off all contact, cruel to be kind, etc.

I should point out that I've been with other girls in the meantime, and she's rejected any advances from people other than me. I'm just worried about her I guess.

Nexxo, your thoughts?

AH

P.S. Just re-read my post, and I just want to be clear, I don't have any feelings for this girl any more. Not subconsciously, nothing. I like her as a mate, and I'm pretty attracted to her, but there's nothing there. Sometimes I question if there ever was, but that's another story...

 

A

 

Don;t you remember what happened last time?

 

D. Football!

 

Haha yeah, but unlike Wash i'm not gonna go and tell her about this...

AH

 

i thought this was going to be a link to an idiot asking girl advice on a computer forum and getting ripped apart

A ***

 

C.

She is hurting every time she sees you. She thinks that by sleeping with you she will rekindle something. I've been there, she might end up hating you anyway.

 

There is still a chance for that

J/K

 

Smilodon: haha

Fly: this is the way I'm heading, but it's hard, isn't it. Cuz she just makes it so easy. I would almost rather she hated me than this, cuz I just feel so bad letting things carry on but I'm a bit too laid back to stop it...

Basically it's pretty obvious what I need to do, I just need to stop being an idiot and do it.

AH

 

Either C, or bite the bullet and try a relationship.

As much as every man likes casual "horizontal monster mash", it might be a nice change for you, and it'd be a lot better for her - it's no good leading people on, as in the long run, she'll suffer for it.

 

I know this feeling.
Try to make a clean break, slowly hang out less and see her less. Eventually she will move on. Time heals all wounds or atleast thats what they say.

On a comic note, you could try become unattractive to her and get her to stop liking you. Stupid i know but meh, could work?

 

Yeah, he forgot the link: http://forums.bit-tech.net/showthread.php?t=117686

 

Sort of A) inspfar as keep her as a f**kbuddy, someone that you can get horizontal with when you're between relationships, have a sore wrist etc
If she's a year below you, you'll be finished uni before her - that's soon enough to grow up and become responsible and gives her a year to find someone else.

 

The first thing I'm wondering is why do you no like relationships? From a moral point of view, the rule for me is that you MUST have a relationship and actual feelings with a person before you start the bedtime activities. If we forget about moral values, I still believe and have seen cases where messing around without attachment leads to big problems. Basically I think your gonna have to learn to love one of two things, her (not just her body. . .) or your hand.

L J

 

I don't know why I don't like relationships. I'm not proud of it. However, we're gonna have to agree to disagree on the whole non-relationship nookie issue. I believe that as long as all individuals concerned are consenting then there's no issue. I don't have promiscuous sex though, and I'm always careful in terms of protection etc.

AH

 

I would probably just carry on, it sounds like its fun at the moment. You are obviously concerned about her feelings and sound like a nice lad. I dunno i guess I'm trying to say you should do what feels right and not rely on the internet for help. You can judge the situation better than anyone on a computer forum.

 

How about talking to her about it? Tell her how you feel ect. May help clear things up for both you and her.

 

I like robb's idea.

 

I think he has a point here.

 

My first opinion is option C.

On the other hand, how often are you guys together? Maybe you are conning yourself by saying you aren't still in a relationship. There is only so much casual sex you can have with someone before emotional attatchment on some level becomes involved (which you aren't always consious of to start off with). Trust me, it's how my last (prior to current) relationship started.