LOL If you were an RPG character what skills would you have?

So yeah,

if you were an RPG character what 2 skills would you have? Let's say skill cap is at level 10 just so we can keep things in perspective. And what would your character class be? And what would your job/career be? And your weapon? Can be anything you want, not just demon slaying skills as in games, maybe this is true to life, or maybe more a dream job. Anything, just be anything you want!

Like for example, my RPG character would be a gamer, and it would look like this:

Class: Net Gamer (-2 to latency)
Career: Student (+2 to intelligence)
Weapons: Mouse & keyboard (+2 to PC games)
Skills: Level 6 Headshot (I get a fair percentage of head shots)
Level 10 "One more turn" (I always say yes to one more turn)
Level 2 Smacktalk (My 1337 speak is poor)

I know this is totally ridiculous but it got me thinking! What would you put down?

 

I'd be able to fly. And be invisible.

 

Level 10 procrastination <-I really need to get on with actual work instead of browsing the forums

 

Well i'd probably have level 50 porcrastination but I couldn't be bothered to train it.

 

Damage soaking thickie.

I prefer long range shooting in the real world, so in fantasy worlds I tend to go for the biggest, most utterly useless gun possible, with the most stupidly awesome armour I can get.