Nice computer geek reply What I was referring to was 'Everybody NEEDS a 303' by Fatboy Slim. A song dedicated to a sampler eh (Roland 303) methinks Fatboy's a geek in his own way too Anyway, download it if you like good music, then download 'Everybody LOVES a filter' if u want some serious bass effects Anyway, what was this thread about...? *awaits a good kicking from a moderator due to wandering off-topic*
st00pid people! THAT's what it was about. I knew a guy who worked tech support for *ahem* gateway computers. Funny thing about techies, they think they know so much, then they show up across the hall incensed about not being able to burn a cd. Duh. Because that's not a cd burner, mutha******. Some good stories from him and a couple other buddies he worked with though. Naturally there were lots of calls looking for the "any" key, there were a couple of "broken cupholders" and other obvious ones. My favorites were the blondes and the stoners. I remember one he had where this woman's fax software wasn't working, took about five minutes on the phone before the tech figured out that she was hitting "send" then quickly holding a sheet of paper up to her monitor. Sat in on a call with a friend of mine...this deep voiced guy was talking sooooo slooooow and was obviously SO HIGH. Something wrong with, well, we didn't know what. He finally managed to relay to us that his machine was locked up, but it took him a while to figure out how to say it. This guy was BAKED. We eventually discovered that he hadn't turned his pc off since Christmas (this was in July!!!!!!!!!!!!) because "duuuuuude, it'll wreck it, maaaaaan." He thought turning the computer off would fry everything. Talk about weird. Took a lot of convincing to get his finger to the power button. He turns it off, then back on. We hear the music, then his amazed voice..."DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude........" then *click*. Finally, another lady caller was having problems she couldn't really describe, nor could the tech figure out what exactly was wrong. After he-hawing around for maybe twenty minutes, he picked up on a cue, "I can't tell you what's on my screen because I can't SEE it!" Turns out she didn't realize she could actually PICK UP her mouse...she ran it down the side of her desk and was calling from underneath! She was hiding in her legspace holding her mouse up to the underside of the table, and she called TECH SUPPORT to figure out what was wrong! I don't know how long I laughed at that one. Um, lady? You couldn't pour water out of a shoe with instructions on the heel! Too funny. Stupid people stories are the best. And its amazing how many stupid people there really are. Every stinkin' job I've had, from teacher's assistant to a grunt in a bakery, I've ended up being "the computer guy" because one of my idiot friends stops by to talk tech with me and the manager hears and decides to tap into the talent. I'm not really that talented...I haven't done any 133t hacks...well one but I'd still get busted if I mention it, but still. Even at my current job. One moment I'm telling a smelly old man to have a nice day, next thing you know I'm on the phone arguing with IT and finally getting manager approval to just hang up and "do it my own way". Can have its perks, though.... Anyway, wanted to share my stories.
Ok, my turn: Working for Gateway, I saw my share of idiots. A buddy of mine was on the phone with a customer and he requested the serial number off the back of the PC. So he can hear the customer grunting and stuff, trying to see the back of the PC when he hears: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THUMP "Sir, sir? are you there? Hello?" The customer gets back on and tells him "Don't hang up on me, I'm here." Turns out the guy lived in a second story apartment that had windows that go down to the floor. While bending over trying to read that number, he fell out of the window, portable phone and all, and landed in a trash dumpster that was sitting down below. Then there was the work ticket I saw that came from one of the Gateway Country stores about the PC that was brought in because it wouldn't boot. When the techs opened it up, they found hundreds of cockroaches. Apparently the bugs had nested inside the system and the piles of roach crap had shorted out the systems circuits. The rest of the ticket was a description of them putting the computer in a trash bag then chasing the damn bugs all over the shop before it got infested with them.
I just finished grade 12, and in my last semester i had 2 classes in one of the labs (the crappy one). one of them was my entrepreneurship class, which i took cuz i needed to fill my course schedual, and the other one was "Intorduction to Computers". the computers all have deepfreeze on them, so first i just guessed the password on it, which was "hi", then i changed it so that the people couldnt mess around with my settings. then i just deleted it all together, cuz it was annoying. during that period of time, i installed litestep on my computer, and had numerous teachers asking me to get rid of it, because they couldnt figure it out. the funniest was watching the Infotech teacher trying to figure it out. but the best thing i did in my time in that lab was get winvnc installed on the teacher's computer. my friend and i started very slowly playing around with the computer, turning on winamp in the middle of a lesson, closing the browser when the teacher tried to surf the net, moving the mouse a little bit to the left or right. it was really funny, then one day i was down in the drafting room playing tribes with a couple of my friends, when i decide to check on what the teacher is doin, see what i can do to mess around with her, so i boot up vnc, enter my password, and it appears that the teacher is playing a game of some sort, so i open notepad, and type "I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT!!!!" when i go to class the next day, the infotech teacher and IT department head(i think he was anyways) is looking at the computer, and i hear him saying "you got a virus, gonna need to reinstall everything" and i cant help but laugh my ass off, because to the best of my knowledge, most virii dont have an uninstall option in the add remove programs list. i wish i had been in the class when i did the notepad thing, but i wouldnt have been able to pull it off without giving myself away by laughing.
School Fun HeHe These are great This year in school(im in 8th) my freinds and i pulled pulled several amusing stunts involving our school's computers. First we put one of those hardware keyloggers on the admin's. We now had all the admin level passwords. Now all our computers run one of those atomic clock sync programs so they all have the exact same time. This gave me an idea. When I went home that night I wrote a simple VB prog to continually eject and retract the cupholder for one minute at the end of each hour. It also entered itself into the windows registry so that it would execute automatically on startup. During my next typing class I logged in as an admin and propagated my little prog throughout the network. The results were funny as sh*t. It took 3 days for the dumbass administrator to even figure out how to start removing it from the computers in the library. We did may other interesting things too( u know messing with ppl's filz, etc) but this has to be the most original. I would explain some of our other errr... adventures, but im too damn lazy. :dude:
ahh, good old high school days!! i remember some friends and i used to disconnect peoples mice all the time. we also took out the mouse balls and start a war with them in the middle of the classroom. they ended up glueing them so we couldn't take them out. there were somw gus that even stole some ram from the lab computers. but one of the funniest things we used to do was when somebody was listening to a cd or an mp3 on the pc, we used to wait tille the song was over and on the short silence between the songs we would unplug the speakers and hook them up to a portable radio tuned to nothing but static and turn the volume up all the way. this made areally good noise cause the speakers where usually at its loudest and the volume was controlled throug windoze. this scared the hell out of people every time. at the beggining they would think the cd was ****ed up, but when they got used to us doing it, it was just the shock of the sudden noise. we also where mad at the computer teachers once so we made our own version of autoexec.bat that deleted *.sys, *.exe, *.dll, etc. and got it on every pc. you should have been there the next day to look at their faces when every pc they turned on ended showing "Press any key to reboot"!! i'm in a university now an what we usually do is send some massive messages on the lan and annoy every one. we would have a whole conversation using massive messages and everyone is p***ed couse they don't know who it is. also this friend of mine once told me he was runnig out of space on his pc and he wanted to know if he could, and i'm not kidding on what i'm going to say now, download a new HDD for his pc!! i laughed so hard i almost wet my pants and his lik "what's the matter? what are you laughing about??" so i say "sure u can. by the way, my keyboard's broken, would you download one for me while your on it?"
well you never know... you DL a new HDD, and a cable sprouts from mobo and a wee little HDD grows, and given a couple months and aple watering/light youve got a grand new 120 gig 7200 RPM, least i wish mine came that way, helluva lot a money, but soo owrth it...:dude:
make sure you have a nice window mod to watch it grow and some bloo LEDs so it can get its light! Maybe an lcd display to see some stats on the growth!
OK a couple form me: After I left high school I went to college (just finished the first year). Anyway, went back to the old high school to get a yearbook (um i still need 2 get that). I thought I would go and **** off the IT tech, he really was a ****! I was looking in his new office at the activity logs and that and all the user names, I then saw, My name and others that had also left the school. I told him about it and he said 'oh damn I used the wrong image to restore the server' or somthing like that, but it did mena that some people cound't log on because they didn't have a user name. Ok another one: I was at college and ne decided I need a network cable just a small 2/3m cable to go from my system to my new hub. So I said to me mates cover me, pulled the cable out, wicked stuffed it in me pocket. My mate turned back to his pc went to save his work (he hand't saved it!). The file server for the students had gone down! Ooops bugger, ok reattach the cable ok lets get out of here! The the teacher said 'Make sure you save all your work becasue the network has gone down!' how dumb can you get! It took them 2 days to get it back online the reason for this, they are using a bus network (i'm not hot on networking) but one cable goes most of the network goes with it, well it appeared I pulled a pretty important cable. Neva got caught or anything. MY friend once nicked some RAM from one of the PC's. It took the admins a day to attempt to sort the problem, and then as soon the tech support arrived as they arrived the opend it up a relised there was no RAM. Oh well some people can't be helped! This should be made sticky
Damn some of these stories are priceless. I got a couple i have heard. A lady called up tech supports at some company, gateway i think, and complained that her comp wasn't turning on. When the tech asked her if she pressed the power button she said she was stepping on the peddle as they spoke. Apparently she was thinking that the mouse was like the peddle for sewing machines and placed it on the floor and was stepping on it. Another lady called tech support and said she was having problems pluggin in her system and starting it up. Apparently she hadn't removed the plastic bags thinking it was like a dust cover or something, and tried plugging in the stuff with the bag still on the PC. Here is one i did at my highschool.. I was great friends with the comp admins at the school, i actually got awards and stuff from them. We have a homemade network log checker that checks the internet addys that go through the server and beeps when there is some catch words like boob or sex or whatever. Well this one kid who had been caught a couple of times was at it again (and i actually think he got caught wacking off in one of the rooms (without and wackoff material either!!)) so we desided to see what he was up to. We used winVNC or some other program like that. Well he thought that he might be getting caught and started trying to close windows and stuff, and the bell rang for him to leave. So he quickly tried to log off the system, without closing all windows. Well seeing that we were logged on to the system he couldn't log off. He started frantically running around trying to shut if off. The comp teacher that is also the admin type guy decided to go and catch him and beat him for it... so he started to walk in and the kid got all red and sweating and stuff. When asked what was wrong, the kid said that he couldn't log off and was worried he had done something wrong to break the PC. We could see everything from where we were sitting, and couldn't help but laugh our asses off for the rest of the day. Another girl asked how to put a floppy disk in the drive. She had it backwards and upside down, holding it from the silver cover trying to jam it in the drive.
At school a few years back we would quickly flick the power form the computer off and on again, the computer would still be running but the monitor would turn off and on again, but the monitor wouldnt turn on properly and it would just stick on a black screen with the green light on, the teachers had no clue to what happened because there were 30 computers all seemed like they were on but the monitors wouldnt work, they let us out the double lesson because tech support were being called in, they didnt even restart the computer(which was the first thing the network support blokes did) Im sure some of these IT teachers wake up in the morning and think, " i think ill go for a job teaching IT, it cant be hard I use word all the time". by the end of the first year we were teaching the teachers how to use them.
