so earlier tonight I rode shotgun in my old ladies motor (parental unit 1) and i am concerned, shes in her early 60's and her driving is getting worse, i mean going to kill someone levels of bad, her reactions and decision making are dreadful, she's scared to take it above 4th so drives considerably slower then the flow of traffic and she's struggling with night driving making me think there's an issue with her eyesight. I don't want to rat her out to the DVLA and get her licence yanked but i am genuinely concerned that shes either going to kill herself or someone else and I don't know what to do. anyone else facing or been through similar problems? I could really use some help here
It's not going to be easy for either of you, but an adult conversation is the only way. My granddad started getting to the point that he shouldn't have been driving any more and we were going to say something, and then he hit a police car in a way such that he was obviously at fault. Nobody was hurt and the damage wasn't massive, so we thought - perfect timing, no longer a need to have "the talk" as they'll take his license. They tested his eyes, he passed, and they sent him back on the road
Yeah, you're gonna have to talk to her mate, it's the only sensible option. Alternatively, if you want some bat**** options, ask the same question on mumsnet, calling her "DM".
You have to offer her some alternative that retains her independence and mobility. Teach her how to Uber (?) or be more on hand to give lifts etc. If you present this you're not taking away her dignity as an individual and locking her up at home. I loathe the day I have to have this talk with my dad, because he's always been wedded to his cars as much as my mum.
I know we had to have the same convo with my wife's gran some years back... She was surprisingly chilled about it, gave the car to her daughter (who is 65 and drives no better, mind... but THAT conversation has been attempted in vain a few times), saying that she doesn't leave the house much anyway... In fairness, the lady is 85 or so now. She uses public transportation (a bus and cabs) nowadays, which are super reliable in some parts of Germany, and super elder-friendly (buses that can drop to the kerb, cabbies that help packing up wheelchairs and walking aids, etc). The adult conversation route really is the only way, and offering alternatives is a must as well.. Since you have Uber in the UK, that's not a terrible suggestion.
