LOL The Fresh Prince meets Scientology

glaeken · 14 Jan 2009

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/willsmithscientology.jpg

Thought this was rather clever/funny.

Ramble · 14 Jan 2009

What's with the minging theme?

knuck · 14 Jan 2009

tbh I don't get it at all, too many expressions/acronyms that I don't understand

Ryu_ookami · 14 Jan 2009

I rather like the Sickapedia version of the defination of Scientology which goes something along the lines of

"Scientology is the belief that 2 giant lizards (turtles) brought to earth a spaceship containing 2 aliens which they landed on an island in the middle of the ocean. before the turtles went to the bottom of the ocean to hide in a cave. the aliens crashed and are awaiting rescue in the near future"

But as the person then continued

"However if you add two italian plumbers and a dinosaur to that you've got the first 4 levels of Super Mario Brothers"

<A88> · 14 Jan 2009

Ghys said: ↑

tbh I don't get it at all, too many expressions/acronyms that I don't understand
Click to expand...

LRH= L Ron Hubbard, founder of said cult.
Xenu is the supposed god-figure or some equivalent I think.
Not quite sure what OTIII really is but Google does.

Oh, and it was pretty darn funny!

Ramble · 14 Jan 2009

OTIII is operating thetan level three. It's like a rank and shows your heirarchy in the organisation.

julianmartin · 14 Jan 2009

hehe, i laughed, good find!

Ryu_ookami · 14 Jan 2009

Wiki has this to say about OTIII

Wiki said:

The story of Xenu is covered in OT III, part of Scientology's secret "Advanced Technology" doctrines taught only to advanced members who have undergone many expensive hours of auditing and reached the state of Clear. It is described in more detail in the accompanying confidential "Assists" lecture of October 3, 1968 and is dramatized in Revolt in the Stars (a screenplay written by L. Ron Hubbard in 1977).[5][11]

Hubbard wrote that seventy-five million years ago, Xenu was the ruler of a Galactic Confederacy which consisted of 26 stars and 76 planets including Earth, which was then known as "Teegeeack". The planets were overpopulated, each having an average population of 178 billion. The Galactic Confederacy's civilization was comparable to our own, with aliens "walking around in clothes which looked very remarkably like the clothes they wear this very minute" and using cars, trains and boats looking exactly the same as those "circa 1950, 1960" on Earth.

Xenu was about to be deposed from power, so he devised a plot to eliminate the excess population from his dominions. With the assistance of psychiatrists, he summoned billions of his citizens together under the pretense of income tax inspections, then paralyzed them and froze them in a mixture of alcohol and glycol to capture their souls. The kidnapped populace was loaded into spacecraft for transport to the site of extermination, the planet of Teegeeack (Earth).The appearance of these spacecraft would later be subconsciously expressed in the design of the Douglas DC-8, the only difference being: "the DC8 had fans, propellers on it and the space plane didn't." When they had reached Teegeeack/Earth, the paralyzed citizens were unloaded around the bases of volcanoes across the planet. Hydrogen bombs were then lowered into the volcanoes and detonated simultaneously. Only a few aliens' physical bodies survived. Hubbard described the scene in his film script, Revolt in the Stars:

Simultaneously, the planted charges erupted. Atomic blasts ballooned from the craters of Loa, Vesuvius, Shasta, Washington, Fujiyama, Etna, and many, many others. Arching higher and higher, up and outwards, towering clouds mushroomed, shot through with flashes of flame, waste and fission. Great winds raced tumultuously across the face of Earth, spreading tales of destruction...

– L. Ron Hubbard, Revolt in the Stars

The now-disembodied victims' souls, which Hubbard called thetans, were blown into the air by the blast. They were captured by Xenu's forces using an "electronic ribbon" ("which also was a type of standing wave") and sucked into "vacuum zones" around the world. The hundreds of billions of captured thetans were taken to a type of cinema, where they were forced to watch a "three-D, super colossal motion picture" for thirty-six days. This implanted what Hubbard termed "various misleading data"' (collectively termed the R6 implant) into the memories of the hapless thetans, "which has to do with God, the Devil, space opera, et cetera". This included all world religions, with Hubbard specifically attributing Roman Catholicism and the image of the Crucifixion to the influence of Xenu. The two "implant stations" cited by Hubbard were said to have been located on Hawaii and Las Palmas in the Canary Islands.

In addition to implanting new beliefs in the thetans, the images deprived them of their sense of personal identity. When the thetans left the projection areas, they started to cluster together in groups of a few thousand, having lost the ability to differentiate between each other. Each cluster of thetans gathered into one of the few remaining bodies that survived the explosion. These became what are known as body thetans, which are said to be still clinging to and adversely affecting everyone except those Scientologists who have performed the necessary steps to remove them.

A government faction known as the Loyal Officers finally overthrew Xenu and his renegades, and locked him away in a mountain, where he was imprisoned forever by a force field powered by an eternal battery. Although the location of Xenu is sometimes said to be the Pyrenees on Earth, this is actually the location Hubbard gave elsewhere for an ancient "Martian report station". Teegeeack/Earth was subsequently abandoned by the Galactic Confederacy and remains a pariah "prison planet" to this day, although it has suffered repeatedly from incursions by alien "Invader Forces" since that time.

The cost of learning these secrets from the Church of Scientology was 3,830 British pounds, or 6,500 US dollars, in 1988. This is additional to the cost of the prior courses which are necessary to be eligible for OT III. Belief in Xenu and body thetans is a requirement for a Scientologist to progress further along the Bridge to Total Freedom.
Click to expand...

to be honest the only thing that it's missing are the words "Once upon a time in a land of make belief unicorns, fairys, aliens and pixies used to play until one day Xenu had an idea etc etc"

adam197 · 15 Jan 2009

Ramble said: ↑

OTIII is operating thetan level three. It's like a rank and shows ~~your heirarchy in~~ how much money you have paid to the organisation.
Click to expand...

Fixed a typo there for you

sui_winbolo · 15 Jan 2009

Hahaha that is so epic. Wow.

Hamish · 16 Jan 2009

its not that impressive when all the intercepts are just dugg down to invisible

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LOL The Fresh Prince meets Scientology

glaeken Freeeeeeeze! I'm a cawp!

Ramble Ginger Nut

knuck Hate your face

Ryu_ookami I write therefore I suffer.

<A88> Trust the Computer

Ramble Ginger Nut

julianmartin resident cyborg.

Ryu_ookami I write therefore I suffer.

adam197 What's a Dremel?

sui_winbolo Giraffe_City

Hamish What's a Dremel?

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LOL The Fresh Prince meets Scientology

glaeken Freeeeeeeze! I'm a cawp!

Ramble Ginger Nut

knuck Hate your face

Ryu_ookami I write therefore I suffer.

<A88> Trust the Computer

Ramble Ginger Nut

julianmartin resident cyborg.

Ryu_ookami I write therefore I suffer.

adam197 What's a Dremel?

sui_winbolo Giraffe_City

Hamish What's a Dremel?

Share This Page

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