Evening all. We all have that one friend who only makes contact with you when they want something, and it appears one of mine has contacted me out of the blue asking for money. Wants me to lend him £200 till the end of next month. Whilst he has paid me back before when I have made small loans of the odd £30 or £40 here and there he's never asked me for this amount before. He did pay me back but it took a while. It was easier to pay it back then too as we lived in the same county, but now that we live quite a distance away from one another its going to be all too easy for him to ignore me if I text or call asking where's my money if he hasn't paid by the end of the month as agreed. Yes I do have his address and he still lives there but it would cost alot for me to drive down to Cornwall to collect and if he didn't have the money to pay it would be a wasted trip The only reason he's bothering me too is because he knows I was made redundant from my old job and has found out that I've started a new job. I've pointed out the most I can spare is £100 as I have my own debts to pay for, car loan and credit card, rent etc and its been a while since any money has been paid into my account - so my redundancy pay is slowly dripping away - quite honestly feels like he's taking the urine as I know recently he's wasted a shed load of money on buying high performance cars, getting bored of them, selling them at a loss and then buying something equally inappropriate as what he had before. He's also a discharged bankrupt. As mentioned before I just feel like he's only asking because he knows I have money and secondly thinks I'm still a soft touch.
As above. "No." is perfectly acceptable as a sentence. I've had 'friends' like this in the past. Get rid of them. You don't need people like that in your life.
I'm only ever happy to lend people cash if it comes in a physical form. I.e. £20. I have no issue paying for rounds when someone can't really afford it, but sending actual cash is a totally different kettle of fish for me.
No, my friend is actually my sister, we all have to make our way and not fair to put pressure on to others. Unless you're flush with cash and owe this friend, best saying no and see how much of a friend they are after
I was reading an article about this just the other day! Have a look... http://metro.co.uk/2017/09/12/how-t...-keeps-asking-you-to-lend-them-money-6912623/
Most of my friends were like that. That's why I f****d them all off and just stay close to the two friends I have in this world who are worth having as friends. There are three things you are likely to fall out with some one else over. Money, drugs, women. Avoid all three and what is left is friendship. Some one who would even ask you that (it takes gall) is not a friend. If they were they would think of you whilst thinking of asking you and think "No, I couldn't do that".
He's been told no. He isn't very happy about it and has tried to pile on the guilt which has made me me more determined not to let him have it. He said something about how his son won't be able to eat this week.
Good man. As someone who in his younger years frequently over-spent on stupid stuff and found himself eating ramen, stove-top and tomato soup for weeks on end (which to be fair, is still awesome, just better out of choice than necessity), the best way is to let him get himself into a bind and figure out how to get out of it, the possibility of not being able to feed his family should be ample encouragement to think laterally. Getting bailed out isn't going to do him any favours. Assuming this man isn't truly destitute (you mention performance cars, so sounds like he's miles from it), he'll find a way.
Tell him he should have thought about that before he burned through all his money on cars... If guilt does get the better of you, order a bag of shopping to be delivered to his door, then at least your conscience will be clear and you'll know the boy will eat.
My response to that would be "then go to a food bank", there's plenty of them in Cornwall and helping to feed a child of a family that's struggling with money is one of the things they're there to do.
As obviously you have not given your 'friend' a loan of 200 quid, rather than it burn a hole in your pocket you could chuck it my way if you like?
