Rant Recording an answer phone message is bloody annoying!

About two years ago I made a custom answer phone message, which due to some confusion with the options menu, went something like this:

'This is Pete's answer phone - I think?'.

This was all well and good but recently I've been applying for some jobs, so I thought it'd be wise to set up a more 'professional' sounding one. This went something like:

'Hello, this is Pete's answer phone...system? Err, please leave a message after the beep. *long silence* Oh, that's right, you have to press hash to stop.'

DELETE

'Hi, this is Pete - err, I mean it's the answer phone so please leave a message.'

DELETE

'This is Pete's system...oh b*gger.'

DELETE

'This is Pete's answer system, err, phone...b*ll*cks.'

DELETE

'This is *clears throat* Pete's...oh what's the use?'

DELETE

'Hello, no I mean hi...f**k it.'

DELETE

'...F**k it.'

DELETE

'F**k it.

DELETE

'...'

DELETE

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I got there in the end after taking a deep breath and calming down.

Anyone else have this problem?

 

As far as answer machine messages go, Write it down 1st.
Sounds daft, but when you read it out you know what to change.

As for the message itself.

"Hi, I can't come to the phone right now, I'm avoiding someone. Please leave your name, number and a quick message. If I don't call back, it's you."

 

One time, back in college, I wanted to create a typical sarcastic witty message naturally befitting a college student living in a dorm. It started off well enough, but my roommate was having none of it.

Me: (in a monotone, dull sounding voice) "Hi, this is the fish. Our owner can't come to the phone..."
Roommate: "Dude, just leave a normal message."
Me: "You done f*cked it up!" (laughing)

Thinking this was the funniest thing ever, I walked over to my friends room to have him call my phone to listen to the awesome new message. He did, and many laughs were had.

When I got back to my room, the light was blinking to indicate that someone had left a message. I thought it was going to be a blank message from when my friend called. Imagine my shock when I heard the following:

(beep) (disappointed tone of voice) "[name], this is your mother. Please call me back."

Let's just say it took while to explain the chain of events to my mother. For some reason she didn't get the joke, but I guess that's just mothers for you.

 

I just leave the robotic voice kick-in

"Hello!................................................................. No one is available to take you call, please leave a message after the tone....PIIIIP".

I assume the person calling me, knows who he is calling, so I dont' have to go "Yo yo s'up Bros! This is G.B. residents, and I am not here, my homies. You know what you got to do. PIIIIIP"

 

I'm a personal fan of the "Hey"..."Oh hey, how are you?"..."Please leave a message".

 

I just leave it up to the posh lady who lives in the phone.

She already has a pretty boring job but I don't want to take that away from her - especially in these harsh economic times.

 

Oh God, +rep for all of you!

I wonder if she talks like that in real life?

 

I just use the generic built-in digitised voice : "Please leave a message after the tone". Short, clear, to the point.

 

I've had a cell phone for 10 years and still haven't recorded a voicemail message

 

As far as I know I don't actually have a voicemail facility... am I doing that posh lady out of a job? Errk - best switch it on. She must have been trapped in there for aggeeeessss doing nothing. Hope she's not bored...

RwD

 

"Hi you're through to the voice mail of ....... Please leave your name and number after the tone and I'll get back to you"

Easy

 

Had my dad speak mine .. In russian. Cue much lol and giggles from listening to the messages my friends left.

 

"Hello?" ........."I cant understand you, it's breaking up" ................ "try leaving a message and I will listen to it later" BEEP

 

Whilst a student, mine was briefly "Pete's Pantry, which tart please?", Till I also realised the whole Mom phoning thing and how she might not be so appreciative of the humour. Now I also use the Posh women who lives in the phone.

 

turn voicemail off. People hate leaving messages as much as you hate recording them. If it is important they will call back.

 

"Hey, this is Chris, leave a message and if you're lucky I'll get back to you before the heat death of the universe"

I've had wrong numbers leave messages saying how much they liked it.

 

"Wasssuuupppp! . . . Dude you alright! . . . sweet one, guess what" Beep

make it sound like you are talking to them, you may find most of your answer messages start off F*****g B*****d then what they were going to say

 

Gah, I did exactly the same thing on my work phone a couple months ago. While trying to listen to a message I had, it prompted the setup routine which caught me off guard with a surprise recording. Ended up with a mumbled "Hi this is XXXX, please leave a message". Can't figure out how to change it to save my life, either.

Personal cell phone goes as follows: "Hello, you've reached XXXX XXXXXXXXX. Please leave a message and I will respond as soon possible."

Nice and simple, lets me use my cell phone as a professional contact number.

 

Back a few months ago the old spice guy was doing requests on reddit, and read out a load of options for generic answerphone messages.



Someone made a website to generate an MP3 file of your choosing.

Of course, I have no idea how to upload this amazingness to my voicemail, but it's nice to know that I have the mp3 ready for when I do figure it out.

 

lol Old Spice...

Go find a song called "Throwing Down" By Psychostick... listen to the intro, that is the answer machine I want on my mobile. "Hi, +oww+ I can't get to the phone +oww+ right now, cause I'm +oww+ beating up +oww+ Dave... Leave a +oww+ message +oww+"