Other What's ruining your life right now?

It's more like £500 all in, with the courier costs.

They're clearly capitalising on business travellers that can't spare their passports for more than a few days, and would rather someone else do all of the leg work in getting the appropriate documentation together (i.e me). To be fair, I've not gone the "cheap" route of doing it before so have no comparison to what the alternative is, but I feel for £300 they could be doing a lot more of the legwork.

 

Stupid ebayers. That is all.

 

Frigging Cancer...

My mom has been told she has it in her breasts and lymph nodes. I am really lost for words she is booked in December for a double vasectomy then who's knows what afterwards. It is really worrying as she is 65 years old and its a major operation. I am struggling mentally with the changes that are happening...

 

If you ever need to talk about it, I lost my mum this year (64) to that ****ing arsehole... Pancreatic, liver and nodes...

 

I lost an uncle to it about two years ago. Then last year another uncle who is like my father (dad died when I was 7) was diagnosed. Then about four months ago Mrs VT had a cancer scare.

Thankfully Mrs VT was given the all clear and my uncle has had a major operation that has seen him enter remission. But I'm forever wary of this horrible shitty disease now.

 

As someone who had throat cancer some 6+ years ago I have a slightly odd perspective on cancer. Mine was probably the result of heavy smoking and drinking and really did not come as a surprise when diagnosed. But what they don't tell you, well not here in the Edinburgh cancer centre is the horrendous and debilitating the treatment is and the effect it has on your quality of life. In my case I still have to live with the side effects as they are pretty much permanent. But that aside it is the reaction of family and friends, some are supportive but I found that a lot seem to look on a cancer diagnosis as a terrible infectious disease and they head for the hills. Most odd.

So if you have someone friend or family member that is diagnosed with big C then support them, it actually does not mean doing anything more than pre diagnosis. I can count on one hand the friends that are still around the rest I feel better off without and that goes doubly so to some family members.

I would recommend looking on FB for groups related to the particular cancer as I learnt more on the two groups I joined than I ever did from my medical team. Plus you are talking with folks that have been their done and bought the T shirt. I still look in daily and offer any help I can usually with a dark humour bent as although there was much pain there was a bunch of laughter. Oddly enough from the lovely dentist at the hospital who removed all my teeth but made me laugh so much which helped during what was a very dark and painful time of my life.

 

Agree... I spent the past two and a half years being optimistic and supportive... It really does help but makes it worse when they suddenly go... And it was sudden. We thought mum had a lot more time left but she fell ill on the Thursday and was gone 5am on the following Tuesday

 

Yeah the same sort of thing happened to my uncle. He seemed perfectly healthy then all of a sudden he starts complaining of a bad back. He was dead six weeks later.

At first they thought he had some sort of lung cancer that is pretty slow going. Then they realised that it wasn't that type of lung cancer and was actually asbestosis. Apparently back in the 70s him and my father had done a job and cleared a load of asbestos without realising the danger.

Not sure whether it would have affected my father or not because he died of a heart attack at 35 but yeah, not nice and not a nice way to go.

My other uncle had prostate cancer that had spread to his bladder area. So they did keyhole surgery on him with a robot. They were expecting that it would still be there in cells but he's now had all of the tests and apparently it's completely gone so he won't have to have radio/chemo etc.

It's a scary illness. I mean, we all know that we are going to die it's just that cancer sort of puts a date on it whilst you're still alive. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like. I just hope I never have to. I gave up smoking nearly three years ago for the vape, and stopped drinking about seven years ago due to meds I take. I don't really miss either.

 

I had cancer for nearly 9 months before I was diagnosed, purely by chance by the way, and to be honest cancer is not really scary, the treatment and it's possible side effects most certainly are but cancer diagnosis is not a death sentence by any means. Most cancers can be treated successfully if caught early enough but we here in the UK have one of the lowest survival rates in Europe because of the delays in identifying and diagnosing cancer. I was told that if I had gone another three months without diagnosis or more importantly treatment then it would have killed me.
So cancer is not necessarily a death sentence but to some, like me it is life changing, but to many like a neighbour it seemed nothing worse than the flue. This is because we all react so differently to the treatment and certainly have different side effects which can be mild of debilitating.

So cancer does not necessarily put a date on your death.

 

Every time a neighbour takes off in his POS car the belt starts squeaking and I jump for a second because I think my watercooling pump is freaking out. Which is more funny than life ruining I suppose.

 

I don't want to be that guy but christmas, I've pretty much straightened out any debts i had in order to start saving and it comes around and bites me in the arse again. I stumbled upon a receipt for gifts that my girlfriend has bought me and it was a couple hundred and i know thats not all of it. Family has basically sorted everything else on behalf of me (we've pooled our money) so thats a chunk i have to pay

It looks like i'll be bringing the credit card back out again unless i shop all on little woods and spread the cost... This and the fact my girlfriend and mother cannot be in the same room makes the season of spending time with loved ones and family pretty difficult

BAH ****ING HUMBUG!

 

Christmas also gets me. I've never really enjoyed it and now it just reminds me of all the people in my family that are no longer here to be with. I've decided to spend it alone this year, just to get some alone time to reflect on things.

BAH ****ING HUMBUG Indeed.

 

Just don't spend money on gifts, or agree a strict budget per gift, works for us, we spend on the kids in the family but not the adults.

Xmas dinner has been paid for by switching ISP and getting a £100 M&S voucher and I started stockpiling booze a little a week over a month ago

 

We did originally, £100 and no more for each other!

Parents and family members is the understanding of pool £10-£15 towards something they want rather than buy 10 things they won't use. I don't buy friends or colleagues gifts unless i know they'll be getting me something and i'm forced to do it.

That and the fact my annual leave is now going to be strict military precision on where i'll be and when. I don't know why i'm trying so hard not to upset people when i'll be doing it either way part of me wishes i had chosen to work over christmas... much less hassle

 

Just do what I do and work for a retail company that exclusively makes and sells Christmas gifts. Never see your family again!

 

On the plus side you get 11 months of the year off

 

I just don't get people gifts anymore, or ask for/suggest anything.

My uncle and I used to trade £20 every year, but that seemed pointless in the end so we stopped that.

Girlfriends, though, throw spanners in the works with their, usually, pro-christmas nature. I've no idea what to do about that.

****ing yuletide nonsense.

 

Wow, that's a ****-ton of money. Don't even spend that on the missus and we're pretty comfortable.

Keep trying to get the family to stop the charade of the cash gift merry-go-round. Failed again this year...

 

Thankfully my family has taken up a tradition of Secret Santa, except we all provide suggestions of some things we'd like at around £30 value. Past few years I've asked for Whisky and drunk the day away.

Don't bother buying anything for the wife and she doesn't for me. Our anniversary is just after Christmas so we just spend the money on going out instead.

 

At least this year, the wife and myself decided to buy something together for xmas as "our present".
Probably going to end up being a nice set of pots or something (which is fine, since I like cooking when I have the time, as does she).

Dad normally gets Whisky (twice this year, since he's turning 60 just before christmas as well), which promptly gets drunk.
Mom is tricky (always is). Probably arts supplies.
Gran gets a book. Every year.
Littlest brother is difficult, since he's got everything he needs in terms of music (my dad just having given him a MONSTER of a guitar in September makes it even harder). So he's getting a hat he wanted and an iTunes voucher, so he can get himself the Nick Johnston album he doesn't want to pirate (big, proud words for a 15 year old broke kid).
Other siblings get a family photo via whastapp or email. 10K km and more between us and them makes things difficult.

The wife's family is always more difficult