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Rant Call me hypocrite...

Discussion in 'General' started by knuck, 5 Jun 2011.

  1. Throbbi

    Throbbi New Member

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    Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Grammar rant thread! :clap:

    I must admit that there are many, many things which annoy greatly regarding grammar and language; I got in trouble at work once for correcting some sales signs. I will be honest and say that there are also a few Americanisms which really grate on me but, most of the grammatical errors I see these days come from our own shores, which is rather worrying. Regardless i shall share some of my grievances as well. (Note - A lot of Americanisms are actually correct if you go back far enough and it is us who have changed to different words. For example using Fall instead of Autumn, it always used to be Fall where the hell ass did Autumn even come from?)

    When pronouncing the letter 'H' it is 'aitch' and not 'haitch'.
    Americans, please note that there is an 'H' at the start of the word 'Herbs'. Please use it, it is not there just to look pretty.
    There, their, they're, your, you're, we're, where, wear, to, too, two. All already stated by people but still damn annoying.
    Fellow Britons, please remember that there is a T in the center of the word water. If someone asks for a glass of 'waw-Ah' they're likely to be wearing it.
    No one has ever 'learned' you anything, they 'taught' it to you.

    There's probably tons more I pick up on from day to day but i can't think of them all right now, however, one final one is my name and the name of many other people who i guarantee hate it just as much. Jonathan is spelled Jonathan. It is not spelled in any of the following ways (and i have had it done all of these ways):
    Jhonathan,
    Johnathan,
    Jonothan,
    Jonathon,
    Jonothon,
    Jonathane,
    Johnathone,
    Janathan,
    Jonothane.
     
  2. BRAWL

    BRAWL Dead and buried.

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    I prefer to know you as "Sir ballbag the second" the first is Nexxington for being able to out-logic me alot -.-

    Either way, I know your pain... my first name is spelt in such a way that looks more Eastern European than it should, so when you're at doctors, interviews etc... everyone gives it this real shitty attempt at a Polish/EE accent on my name. I'm English damnit!

    Grammar and punctuation don't wind me up a great deal, pronouncation of words and specific terms really winds me up, like my little sister says "Gr-arse" or "Coke" instead of cola, Endless arguments over dinner-tables over the correct way of saying something I swear!

    Also... "Janathan" How the feth is that even close?!
     
  3. stonedsurd

    stonedsurd Is a cackling Yuletide Belgian

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    Thank you! I often ask Americans that say 'erbs whether they're French. Never ceases to generate a blank expression and then some degree of annoyance.

    On that note, dear Britons, please do not add the letter 'R' to end of the word 'saw'.

    Surely the spelling is up to the fellow (or woman?) whose name that is?
     
  4. BRAWL

    BRAWL Dead and buried.

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    haha, the H thing seems to be a wonderful accent mindscrew! I have that but force it to not come out alot by speaking as blankly as possible!

    how the hell does that work sir? an R?
     
  5. EvilMerc

    EvilMerc Well-Known Member

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    In this instance you're the one who's wrong. Grass definitely doesn't rhyme with crass and cola just sounds weird.

    One would like a chilled Coke on the gr-arse outside, darling.

    Also, H is aitch. Haitch makes me whinge lots.

    EDIT: 1337 post count!!!!!!!!!!!!111!1!
     
  6. chris66

    chris66 Member

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    That's labour education for you, where everyone's a winner – in a lowest common denominator kind of way….

    I got expelled from school without a qualification to my name, and even I am saddened at the seemingly dumbed down standards in education – spelling and grammar especially – so even I learnt the basics in the ‘70’s and ‘80’s – in the little time I actually spent in school!
    My friend’s son, who was taking his final exams a year ago, told me that the teachers actually asked him what questions he’d like for his exam, in order to achieve the correct result for the school!

    Still, who needs an ‘educashion’ in a country that rewards laziness and fecklessness by way of generous state benefits and punishes those who want to make a go of life themselves – socialism at its worst.
     
  7. Nealieboyee

    Nealieboyee Packaging Master!

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    I hate it when people type without punctuation and write a whole paragraph in one sentence it really makes me angry i can't stand it at all why do people do this
     
  8. BRAWL

    BRAWL Dead and buried.

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    No, damn you it's "Grass" Gr & Ass make the term "Grass" don't they :p therefor you sir are incorrect and my amazing dominance over all lifeforms is assured.

    Also, it's "Cola" because "Coke" is "Coka-Cola" that horrible sugary, fur-mouth inducing stuff that clubs are intent on selling instead of Pepsi!
     
  9. Throbbi

    Throbbi New Member

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    Wait! There's more and they're of British descent (or rather accentual derivatives)

    Film is film and not fill-em. Scone is sc-own and not sc-on. Grass is gr-ass not gr-arse (you bloody poncy git :p jk) just the same as bath is b-ath not b-arth.

    Just remembered that I live near Stoke-On-Trent. My god their accent makes the language infuriating. Cook, book, look are all pronounced cue-k (as ins snooker 'cue') or cew-k, bue-k, lue-k. It makes me want to kill them. They argue that its how you were 'learned' :)wallbash:) it in skewel to which i reply 'So you've got blewd in your veins then have you?'. Sadly they don't seem to understand.

    Still, they've made a lovely place in Trentham where you can meet the family......Here
     
  10. r3loaded

    r3loaded Well-Known Member

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    The "could of" one makes we want to strangle the person in question. People who mix "our", "hour" and "are" come a close second.

    That's because people for whom English is not their native language put the effort into learning it correctly, and paid attention in their English classes. Conversely, our country is a nation of kids who "cant be bovvered 2 lern, like".

    Not strictly grammar-related, but I also particularly hate people who feel the need to interject with "like" every three words in their speech.
     
  11. stonedsurd

    stonedsurd Is a cackling Yuletide Belgian

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    Think "They were snogging last night! I sawr it!"

    I find the term 'snogging' quite charming but a lot of Americans hate it and seeing as I'm here a lot more than I'm in the motherland (GB), I have stopped using it almost entirely. Strangely, I find the term 'making out' quite idiotic too. I prefer 'sucking face' to anything else.
     
  12. Throbbi

    Throbbi New Member

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    Innit tho' :lol:
     
  13. Throbbi

    Throbbi New Member

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    If you combine their slang for 'borrow' and our slang for 'cigarette' you can get some great reactions. ;) Just try it, ask any American if you can 'Bum a ***'
     
  14. stonedsurd

    stonedsurd Is a cackling Yuletide Belgian

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    Oh god, I still remember the silence and shock when I was new here and asked someone where I could buy a ***.

    I rather like my life, though. I've spent enough time in the US and UK to have almost no problems understanding common slang and variations in speech. Still a bit annoying when people ask me if I'm british (non-rhotic speech, use of Commonwealth terms such as petrol and the metric system).
     
  15. shigllgetcha

    shigllgetcha Come at me bro

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    It annoys me too but i do know ive made the mistake once or twice when I havent been paying proper attention
     
  16. Flibblebot

    Flibblebot Smile with me

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    Actually, it's a throwback to the 17th & 18th centuries (when America was being colonised by the British) when the "h" at the beginning of words was silent. Later on, the British started adding the "h" back to the beginning of words, but the Americans didn't.

    A lot of the differences in spelling and pronunciation between American and British English stem from this separation and forked evolution. In some respects, American English is closer to Elizabethan English than British English is (think of American English as the marsupials of the linguistic world).
    Personally, I prefer doing it than talking about it, but anyhoo...;)

    It amazes me that many Americans apparently use the word "bugger" as a polite, non-rude expletive without understanding its true meaning.
     
  17. BRAWL

    BRAWL Dead and buried.

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    Ahh you're speaking of that horrible dialect I call "Tw+t" at the best of times. The complete and total failure of any way of pronouncing anything at all that could possibly be even remotely attached to a language in favour of grunts, rants and overall a shitty attitude. Chavs...

    Tragically most of my customers sound that way :/ fool's
     
  18. Throbbi

    Throbbi New Member

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    The current trend around these parts from the unwashed, Kappa infected yoths is using 'bare' to mean lots of something. Drives me f'king mental.

    "U out tonite bruv?"
    "Yeah man, i gots me bare dollar, gonna be mashed up innit"

    FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!11!
     
  19. BRAWL

    BRAWL Dead and buried.

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    Yeah that drives me made... I say "Pure" to describe 'alot" or 'high' depending on context...

    I.e. "It's pure warm today" but it's rare I do.

    Although saying all this... I swear like a trooper.
     
  20. Canon

    Canon Reformed

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    ERBS



    That makes me want to go ape ****.
     

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