hey, im a freshmen in high school, and there is a girl that i have liked since fourth grade, but im pretty sure she doesnt even know i exist. i know this is pretty pathetic, but i figured many of you have faced this same problem in high school, so i was wondering if any of you could give me some advice. i figured to start it off, you may need to know a little about me to understand the whole problem, well like many of you i am pretty much a computer geek, except for i go to a rich little kids high school, in which nobody knows much about computers and therefore pretty much hates computer geeks, it is not like i have no life or anything though, because i play soccer on two teams, and play fairly well in basketball, neither of which are for school teams, i also go to the movies and crud.i am about 5'11", brown semi-long hair, she is about 5'5", plays field hockey and tends to hang out with the semi-popular crowd. I have liked her since fourth grade, but am too darn shy to ever talk to her, which as of now has been only during a biology project, which i managed to make a fool out of myself, i am pretty sure she doesnt even know i exist, and am tired of not doing anything, and would really like to date her before christmas. If any of you have and comments on how i could get to know her or something, whether it be changing what i wear, typically old navy, changing my hair style, or whatever, advice would be greatly appreciated, also if you would like to post your sad story, or something, your welcome to do so, please just dont make fun of me, i couldnt come up with anything, so i decided id ask you people at bit-tech thanks alot and happy modding
Welp, first off, don't go changing yourself. Second, you're gonna have to talk to her. You could have someone else force the conversation, but then it's even more akward than it would've been had you just gone up to her and talked to her. As for this, "before christmas" thing, forget it. If you're gonna put a timeline on anything, you don't really care. If you absolutely can't talk to her, a christmas card w/ a nice note and you phone # works sometimes. Of course, if she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you. If she's going to like you, it should be for who you are, not who you pretend to be. "The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it." C. P. Snow
thanks alot man, i dont know why i put that christmas thing in there, it was more or less because once christmas break starts, i won't see her for another 16 days which would suck, so i was kind of hoping to be able to hang out with her then, but you are a great help
lol. poor hecker and his till 9pm practices. ok now I read the post. I would say um, ya, the usual, just talk to her somehow. But if she says you're cute, it's the kiss of death and you are a friend, not a boyfriend. etc. Get right to the point and use some balls. And don't spend any money on her till a date lol, I learned that lesson.
i'm not the best person to post dating advice, but i have to agree with what the other two have said, just talk to her....i should really follow that tip, but i think i already got stuck in the friend thing, and it could be weird if i were to ask and she said no. would rather keep her as a friend and not date her than not talk to her atall.
well, in my experience its very hard to force these kind of things. heres my advice on how to go about it. first, you need to make it understood to your friends that you have it for her. it might them annoy them but keep on bringing her up. then they might mention it to someone who knows her or something like that. if you want to get closer to her, then you need to involve yourself in things she does. you guys are a lil young to work, but if she has a job try to get a job there. if theres a club or somehting in school see if you can get in. more personal situations are much better to get her to notice you, but they might not be possible. in my personal experience if you work with the person you will become close enough so she will know you atleast. i dunno about sending her anything with your phone number in it, that may seem much too forward, and it may get you laughed at if youre rejected. thats all you need is her showing it to all of her friends and laughing. but that just me, i dont like rejection. perhaps get cards for alot of ppl at school and get it to her that way, but the phone number could very well be seen as too forward. and hey! maybe her computer will break and you will have to fix it for her. thats also a great way to make friends in highschool. offer to do things for free to people you barely know, and pretty soon you will know EVERYONE. trust me. it gets annoying after a point, but it gets you in with alot of ppl. but as Ubermich siad, dont change yourself.
From past experience its best not to change for anyone. If your going change yourself make sure its for your self and no one else! You will have to talk to her sometime, so make it NOW! I assume you know something that she is interested in, go and talk to her about that, purhaps in biology, then she'll see your interested and she might (if she doesnt already) like you more. From my experience once you have this nice lady with you another couple will come along, make sure you know who you want! It happnening to me right now, with someone and the person I wanted has now come along, but Im with my new g/f which I love dearly. Remember dont go changing! Not for anyone except yourself! Good luck.
hey, just ask, u wont know untill u ask will u? oh and defiantely dont change urself for her, thats stupid if she likes u she will accept u for who u r!! Good luck!
Yep, rule #1: Never change yourself for anyone. I did it once and it didnt work for more than a few weeks. Main point #2: You are gonna have to talk to this girl sometime, especially if you want to date her so you might as well get over your fear and just find some way to talk to her. Those are the only 2 things I can think of right now. I know how you feel though, been there more than my share of times. PS: the cute thing doesnt always mean just friends, in my experience it has been known to mean "this girl wants you really bad and is basically head over heals in love with you even though you dont like her that way." Thats always fun to try to avoid.
I may be sorta a lurker here but i'll put two cents in as I find your situation disturbingly similar to mine. Lets see, I'm a freshman as well, liked some girl for years, played soccer for my school (Football for the brits. Not that i'm great, its just a small school so few cuts). I'm a wee bit taller and have longer hair, but I am also a smart/ computer geek kid. I'm sorta like you in that I don't conform to whatever the new trend is. First some quick advice: Be friendly with this girls friends, they are amazing assests! And as everyone else is saying, do not comprimise your values for her. Anyway, so during soccer season (She plays as well, as the girls are only a field over ) and in any class I have with her, I would steal a glance as often as possible. I just couldn't get her out of my head, and I decided to do something about it. So one day after practice, there was gonna be a football game and I actually decided to go for once. This happened quite a few weeks, till one cold evening at the game one of her friends asked me if I wanted to ask anyone to the dance coming up. I bit the bullet and just told her that I liked the one girl, but really didn't want to go to the dance. But as things go, I eventually did ask her (Most vulnerable/embarassing moment of my life, but I suppose it was worth it) and we had a fun night. But you know what? Thats about it. Well, not quite. I do get to talk to her a bit more often, and she does go out of her way to talk to me now. However, what I have learned is this: You focus simply on a date with her, that may be all you get. Don't go on a date just to go on a date with her, do it to get to know her, to be closer. Just get to know her. Start talking to her occasionaly, just say Hi in the halls or when you see her around school. The real underlying point in asking her out is that you like this girl, so tell her. Start slow, don't rush. I know how it is thinking she's never given you a second look, I've been there. But, you really just have to put yourself out there. It's not really better safe than sorry. Well anyway, theres my sad story. Kinda pitifull, but I hope it gives ya some ideas. Man do I feel better now
i've never been on a date in my life i don't like the whole 'dating' thing that americans tend to have... i do however know that if you just get close to the girl, talk to her, let her see what sorta pervy love munchkin you are that should work - you don't have to go out on dates just spend time together *n
U see football (soccer) is more than a sport, its brings joy and love into our lives, sorry that had to be said.
btw, thanks to all of you who replied, you have been a great help, i will try to initiate a conversation, and possibly keep you posted, and as for soccer, it is good
Correction: Football is good but Pc's and Modding rule the earth, sure u wont argue over that one! Better?
start off small, say hi everynow and then, and if she says anything back, and means it, you should know when to make your next move, when it comes
I have come to the conclusion that girls at that age are nice to look at, but, being a nerd, I didn't dare utter a word. It usualy resulted in theur eyes glazing over, and them falling asleep (after the first time, I started making sure that they were sitting down when I began speaking). You know that something is not right when the "deer in the headlights look" passes over their face when you walk near them When you do try to talk with them, try to focus on their intrests, and not your own. And if they ask you what you do, mumble computers, and then follow with the rest of the list (in a slightly louder voice). Computers covering all the "nerd" intrests. If they ask you what you do with computers, warn them, and if they still insist, let them have it (HTML, PHP, modding, etc.) I sure hope that when I find a girl, that the can actualy listen to me talk about what I did that day, without falling asleep, or fainting from crainial overload...
