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Other Is is ever okay to say you don't like a present?

Discussion in 'General' started by Guinevere, 2 May 2020.

  1. Guinevere

    Guinevere Mega Mom

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    My gf & kids has just given me three lego sets and I really don't like them. I mean I REALLY don't like them. The only lego set I've got my eyes on is the UCS Falcon, they know that but it was a bit beyond the price range but still managed to spend £300+.

    So now I have a D-0 droid, a Yoda with Creep-AF eyes and a terrible out of scale Millennium Falcon. Haven't opened the boxes yet. Really don't want to.

    D-0 was a pointless character in the movies. Yoda is very ugly model, and the Falcon is just all wrong.

    This is what I get for buying my son the Stranger Things set, my daughter the Friends Central Perk set and just last week - my gf the Lunar Lander (She's a rocket scientist - it was apt)

    Damn, I wish they'd have spoken to me and I would have chipped in the rest of the money and got the UCS Falcon.

    :(

    I feel totally crap for wanting to just tell them I don't like them.
     
  2. KayinBlack

    KayinBlack Currently Rebuilding

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    Is it possible to surreptitiously exchange them as they're unopened? Failing that, reselling them may be a nice alternative.

    It's never easy to dispose of gifts that were not purchased with the utmost of care. I find myself doing it more and more often.
     
  3. Big Elf

    Big Elf Oh no! Not another f----ing elf!

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    If it was £20 I'd just suck it up but if they've spent that amount and you don't like it I think you have to tell them. Then there's the option either to get a refund or if that's not possible then to resell even if it's at a loss.

    Edit: I'm sure the hive mind on here can come up with the perfect way to tell them. Although I'd just be honest otherwise what other stuff might they come up with?
     
    Last edited: 2 May 2020
  4. David

    David Take my advice — I’m not using it.

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    I don't like the present. This year is a ****ing mess. :p:
     
  5. KayinBlack

    KayinBlack Currently Rebuilding

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    That's true as well.
     
  6. Bloody_Pete

    Bloody_Pete Technophile

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    'sorry everyone, although the thought is fantastic, I'm really not into these gifts. Would anyone mine of I exchaned them?'
     
  7. adidan

    adidan Guesswork is still work

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    I'd rather someone tell me if they wanted to exchange a present rather than them just living with it.

    Unless it was a personal gift of course.

    Always been a thing in our family, mum always sends a gift receipt with anything she buys if we need to change it :happy:
     
  8. spolsh

    spolsh Active Member

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    Hmmm ,,, Do they actually like the sets you got them, or are you now all just exchanging Lego out of habit ?

    Don't know how you get out of this without telling them though, Bloody Pete's way is probably best (but still awkward).
     
  9. Spraduke

    Spraduke Lurker

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    To be slightly contrary. You sound a bit ungrateful. Your family bothered to buy you multiple gifts, presumably expensive, that they thought you would enjoy (you clearly enjoy lego).

    Put yourself in their position. How would you feel if they came and said similarly shallow things about a gift you got them?

    So time to either stop being so pedantic and just try to enjoy building them, with your family or face the music and be honest that you really had your heart on another set, would they mind if you traded them up and you'll make up the difference.

    As the recipient of typical dad gifts (socks etc) I would be delighted if someone bought me any lego at all.
     
    Guest-44638, Gunsmith and bawjaws like this.
  10. adidan

    adidan Guesswork is still work

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    I must add the proviso that I don't have kids.

    Could I face telling my mate's adorable kids that I didn't like something they got me? No, I don't think I could.
     
  11. Vault-Tec

    Vault-Tec Green Plastic Watering Can

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    This is why since I was 16 I get money or nothing. In the end I decided on nothing.

    What makes me speak up is that I love my family so much. And, if they don't know me well enough to spend their money on me and it be a total waste I will speak up. I'm very hard to buy gifts for. Incredibly hard. Mostly because there isn't really anything I specifically want, and thus don't logically need. So I know for a fact if some one spends their money on me it will just sit gathering dust unless it's PC parts (which I would not ask for) or bike parts (which again I would never ask for).

    Now? my mother and brother just pay for my TV license yearly and that covers everything. Mum tells me what she needs (this year it was a new dressing gown and slippers) and I get it for her. With my brother? easy, he plays golf and he drinks.

    My honesty cost me as a child, because I used to piss people off. However, at least I was being genuinely honest. No please really, don't waste your money buying things I will never use. It wasn't ungrateful, it was more me feeling guilty about them spending money on me that would be a waste.
     
  12. liratheal

    liratheal Sharing is Caring

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    Honestly, I'd just suck it up and accept it. Sounds like effort went in (Although perhaps not logic, if the price difference between what you wanted and what you got is minimal..) when picking, so.

    I don't remember how I've reacted to gifts I don't like. I'm sure it's happened, though. No one gets perfect gifts every time.

    Although, I do my best to minimise the potential by having various lists of things I want to buy but haven't got around to yet in a variety of price brackets. Stuff that I, often, wouldn't buy myself (Because I'm buying more expensive stuff I'd be uncomfortable asking for) but I am interested in owning.
     
  13. bawjaws

    bawjaws Well-Known Member

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    To be fair, if @Guinevere wanted the UCS Millennium Falcon (price: £650) but got stuff worth £300 instead, then I'd call the price difference a bit more than minimal :) Sure, they still spent a hefty amount, but it's less than half of what the fancy set costs!
     
  14. Guest-44638

    Guest-44638 Guest

    I don't think there will ever be an 'ungrateful sh!t'-free way to say you don't like something you're gifted...

    I'm nigh on impossible to buy gifts/presents for; mostly due to not knowing what the hekk I want in the first place... coupled with having bought nearly everything I wanted myself since I was able to.

    That and having ungodly priced 'dreams' for stuff that I'd like to have... and doing equally ungodly amounts of research into what I want to buy.
     
  15. David

    David Take my advice — I’m not using it.

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    Have a quiet word with GF and be honest, and earnest. If I'm right, I'm sure GF will make things whole with the kids by saying "I think we got the wrong one, my fault, let's exchange these and get something else".
     
  16. liratheal

    liratheal Sharing is Caring

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    Ah, to be honest I'd no idea what the cost was of the wanted item. I thought they were closer with how I read the post.
     
  17. Guest-44638

    Guest-44638 Guest

    In that scenario, @Guinevere a good compromise would've (could've?) been a Lego gift card*; my wife got me one a few Christmases back & I put it towards the Mack Truck kit... mebbe worth a quiet hint when 'small ears' aren't around.

    *not sure if you can only get them from the Lego website or not...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: 2 May 2020
  18. MadGinga

    MadGinga oooh whats this do?

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    I've been a similar situation (not to the cost of those sets though). The wife used to buy me smaller sets that although i like as they are Lego, they weren't the "ones I want", and as we weren't in the position financially for me to just buy the ones i wanted, i was stuck with sets that i resented. I just had to suck it up and try and explain - cant say it was easy, or that it she took it well, but it has resulted in being able to get sets that I want...
     
  19. Pete J

    Pete J Unemployed dole scum

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    Approach 1:

    1) Keep sets safely in storage for 5-10 years.
    2) List on eBay.
    3) ??????
    4) Profit

    Approach 2:

    Go on Rebrickable and look at MOCs to build using all three sets.
     
    MadGinga and liratheal like this.
  20. Guinevere

    Guinevere Mega Mom

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    To all those who said I was being ungrateful. Yep. Been beating myself up over this! Yes they handed over the presents with 'Sorry they're not what you really wanted' but I'm still a b*tch for being ungrateful.

    It's a horrible situation and I feel bad, but it's not something I'd ever do to someone else and put them in this position. I knew my gf wanted a guitar, I bought her a guitar not a ukulele. I knew she wanted a nice telescope, I bought her a nice telescope not a nice pair of binoculars. I knew she wanted a nice GPS running watch, I bought her a nice GPS running watch not a nice watch and a handheld GPS tracker. I knew she wanted a full size electric piano, I bought her a full size electric piano and not a 3/4 sized synth.

    I shouldn't have been so hard on myself. I should have reminded myself that my gf isn't great at understand the desire for things. She's the one three years ago who spent Christmas day angry with our daughter for crying on Christmas Day. Apparently a 10yo isn't allowed to cry even if her Mum forgets there was a special Christmas list that contained a handful of 'cheap but special to her' items. She got nice stuff, and a lot of it she'd seen and liked, but the items she was really hoping for - were nowhere to be seen. 'A blue handbag' 'a pink jumper' and 'any gravity falls book'. Silly little items (in the grand scheme of things). I'd had plenty of discussions with her about the stuff she would like, but the 'special list' never got mentioned as she'd told one of us and considered it a done deal - knowing that it was just a few cheap things. So she cried because she realised her hopes had been forgotten about, then she cried a lot more when the person who forgot them was angry with her for crying.

    Back to Lego : I went with this...

    "Before I start building my awesome new Lego, could you ever forgive me if I suggested we send them back and I add my own money to get the Falcon?"

    It worked but I feel bad, and will always feel bad about this now.
     

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