I understand that, but what will he achieve by whining about it on the forums? We either validate his feelings, which no doubt will make him feel better but will not acquire him greater insight into the nature of his problems. Or we can challenge him, which will make him feel crap, but has a slightly greater chance at modifying his skewed perspective somewhat. In any case, I am not sure that you can expect lots of understanding and sympathy from people who most likely have had to deal with suckier situations. I'm sorry if I sound like a middle aged cynic (but that's what I am, so that's how it comes out), but being deprived of the difference between DX9 and DX10, and my younger brother getting a mobile at ten when I had to wait until 15 does not qualify to me as slit-my-wrists-time. Or perhaps all those years working with severe mental health problems, brain injury and cancer has made me a bit jaded. And he can't get the girl? Who at 17 could get the girl?!? Of course Computerking's moans could be symptoms of much bigger life/family problems. But in that case is a computer forum really the best place to unburden himself? Again, this place is full of teenage dirtbags (baby), who in between listening to Iron Maiden experience exactly the same problems that he complains about, and then some. This possibly makes them a bit less sympathetic than Computerking had hoped, but he cannot expect more from them than we can expect from him. As opposed to a whinging git?
This reminds me, I've been meaning to get a weekend job. I think I'll do it soon after I sort out my bank card issues--ironically provided by the same bank that employs me... Computerking, look for a weekend job at the grocery store. It's a great place to meet new friends (your co-workers) and you're getting paid for some reasonably easy tasks. I've had some bitterly dark, deep trenches during my teen years as well, but I don't regret them (mostly) as they've made me a resilient and well-seasoned person; something women may find attractive--I don't know. Even so, our family is still living it rough, but we are happy with it.
OK, Nexxo, fair enough, but all people are doing here is saying "these are my problems, they're worse than yours" which doesn't help. We're not going to validate his feelings, of course not, that would be silly, but similarly, totally rejecting him (olly_lewis) doesn't help either. In the same way, saying "get a job" (with no further suggestion) when he's clearly far too immature isn't going to help, which is why I suggested asking his parents to get him a job through a friend, and Amon's post just above this is actually helpful. But if people are nice, and help in general, they can expect it back, even if not from the same person. That's what a community should be about. When computerking grows up a bit, hopefully he'll see that. He does always say "thanks guys" and seemed to appreciate it when people pushed him on in his case thread.
Sorry, but if you can't get a girlfriend at 17, then wake up and smell the vodka and cola and go to a party with somefriends. I know I did. I'm 15 1/2 and a boarding school (a very dispressing place indeed!) and sure every so often a bad thing will happen, but you've got to take that in your stride. For example, in March I was found heavily drunk at school, semi-uncious and ended up doing chors around my school for 3 weeks, spending a total of 5 hours in detention and being told if i'm found in that state again I would be expeled ( I had pushed one of my friends into a pond at this point). I went without pocket money, facebook or a moblie for 3 months and I was pretty pi*sed off. In hindsight, yes i was depressed afterwards, but it taught me a lesson. Just battle through with this its not a big issue in the slightest.
first of all, it seams that you are Egyptian.... i don't know how is life there but if it is like it was here some years ago you can get some cash fixing computers, simply because very few people knew how to fix computers, if you cant get cash from that, get a job somewhere else by doing some work by fixing home stuff or do some traditional/local handicraft and sell it to tourists or other people, a good source for ideas is http://www.instructables.com/ and your local history. as for this " you are emo, get a myspace, kill yourself, etc......".... don't listen to them, walk your own path, what does not kill you just makes you stronger, and about the people that give you hard time, we have a frase "o que é para eles os ratos não roem" which translates to about "the rats wont chew what is for them", so hang on, get a job, don't listen to people that say bad things to you and about you or use them to improve yourself and above all DON'T BECOME EMO!!!!!!! or i will personally swim all the way to Africa and kick your ass. for the other guys, life is not always unfair, life is a challenge, the biggest of them all, either you have it in you to persevere, you learn to persevere or you wont do anything good, either way there are only 2 constants in life and you should not think of the last one.
I agree^^^ The fight maybe unequal, but you'll be better for it later. Though just what qualifies me to give advice, I don't know. H.B.
There's more to life than computers.... and there are plenty of jobs out there which don't involve computers. But it seems CK has to have a [high-end] computer, and is really only interested in jobs which involve working with computers? Get out into the big, bad world CK, and look for any jobs which are available. There has to be something else which interests you - other than computers... surely? But hell... as long as it's bringing in money... a job is a job at the end of the day. It doesn't have to be long term. Just something to help tide you over, whilst you're looking for something else more suitable/permanent. The very reason you're feeling the way you are now, is because you've got nothing else to take your mind off the boredom. Getting out of the house, and doing something... anything, is better than just sitting around moping/feeling sorry for yourself
You make valid points, but I think there is a bit more going on, community wise. This is not the first time that Computerking has asked for attention, thrown a strop when he did not get an immediate response, disregarded useful attempts at helping him and complained about what seems at face value fairly trivial problems. I think he is acquiring a reputation and that the community is getting a bit tired of him. Hence the somewhat curt replies. Computerking is, I assume, a 17-year old of reasonable intelligence. "Get a job" should be a fairly unambiguous suggestion that he can take from there. More specific advice would be difficult without knowing his exact circumstances; I don't know how things work in Egypt. In the UK you apply at Sainsbury's; over there you may approach family or friends of the family; I don't know. But he does. Basically, either Computerking's problems are as he presents them: 1. My parents won't let me upgrade the DX9 card they paid for to a DX10 card; 2. My brother has a mobile at a younger age than I did; 3. I can't get a girl. ...in which case they are fairly trivial and do not warrant a big moan on the forums, let alone talking about reaching for the cut-throat razor or sleeping pills. His complaints basically suggest: nobody listens to him, nobody respects his opinion/feelings, he never gets what he wants. On the other hand his posting behaviour displays: attention seeking, low frustration tolerance, sense of over-entitlement. I think he is creating what he defends against. I'm sure that there may be some very good reasons for him having learnt to behave in this way, in which case his complaints could be symptoms of bigger family problems. But if you bring those behaviours to a public forum, you'll get exactly more of the same. Therapy is designed to be unlike daily life interactions for a reason. These forums are not meant to be group therapy.
It would also be a good idea to find somewhere other than a public forums with thousands of strangers to ask for help with problems, or at least not a tech forum and one with a more specialist interest in this kind of thing. So many people here either don't care or have bad advice, and certainly have no personal connection to CK - This really shouldn't be the first port of call when it comes to asking for life advice. If you genuinely want help, then it may be of mosy benefit to look somewhere else, friends or family, a counsellor, whatever else first (on the other hand, if you're just having an attention seeking rant, stop)
1. his parents wont let him sell hardware that he has, to a guy, at a higher price that it is worth and buy something better at about the same price. 2. this is something interesting, i notice that some kids get expensive mobile phones at a really young and irresponsible age and almost use them as hammers or as i notice in a certain family member of mine, a new addiction that is FUBARing his life. 3. you live in the UK, i live in Portugal he lives in Egypt = different cultures, in my and your culture it is totally normal to chose a girlfriend, in his culture things are different....... it is like as a guy from India saying "i cant eat a big mac and i want to!" and you guys go like "go kill yourself you emo kid" and after all his culture prevents him from eating cow. this has to do with perspective, before jumping to reply some of you should put your self in his shoes, notice your surroundings and think a little. Most of you guys have had the dream of doing something spectacular, useful and long lasting with your life, some of you have the support of family and friends, some of you don't, the ones that don't and don't have the strength to pull them selfs up, to do the work, need to get some strength from somewhere and it looks like Computerking gets his strength from this forum.
As Nexxo has mentioned indirectly, there may be friction between his parents or between him and his parents. It won't matter what age you are, family issues are difficult issues.
Every teenager has friction between themselves and their parents. People are phrasing this as something new or profound. It isn't, it's just teenage angst. I learnt to deal with that long ago. Parents won't buy you hardware? Tough ****, neither will mine. That's why I go out and work.
--Which is the wrong place to get it. This forum is not group therapy. I'm sorry, but: 1. He did not pay for the card; his parents did. This sort of makes it their property and judgement call, no matter what he thinks about it. If he wants to buy and sell his card, he should pay for it from his own money. That way, it is his to do with as he pleases. 2. Your argument is besides the point. When Computering was 10, mobiles were more expensive than now that his little brother is 10. And his baby brother may get away with certain things because he is the baby, but Computerking will get certain priviliges because he is the oldest son. 3. Dating anxieties notwithstanding, in his culture Computerking is virtually guaranteed a bride, because his family will arrange one when the time is due. There probably will be a nice dowry too. The rest of us have to deal with the anxieties of finding the right girl ourselves and winning her hand. Admittedly this requires that you work on your personality a bit. Each culture has its advantages and drawbacks. Oh, and 4. He is pissed off because his parents won't give him money for a new computer. Computerking may have valid problems (although I'm sort of having to guess at that), but he fails to get sympathy and support here because of how he (repeatedly) asks for that sympathy and support, dismisses it when he gets it and throws a tantrum when it is not forthcoming immediately. His problem is not just about his problems, it is also about how he chooses to deal with them. And for me, there is a difference between sympathy and collusion in his behaviour.
I tend to agree with Nexxo. All cultural differences aside, when I was 17 (2001), I couldn't get a girl either. I had no money. I had old hardware. It remained like that until I was 20. I finally found a decent (i.e. fulltime and decent wages) job then, got some money, and started saving up as my old hardware still f'ing worked and did the job. Now, I'm 22. I live in the UK, I'm out of a job again (my own fault, women don't appreciate you telling them you think they shouldn't be managers), I'm running out of money. But I do have a girlfriend. Only took me five years to get one. What I'm trying to say is that I'm an absolute loser. But this loser got there in the end. (And then lost it again, but hey... female managers?! Not on my watch! Also a good lesson in that... bigotry doesn't pay ) And no matter what you may think of yourself, your problems, or life in general, if you sit in front of your computer and whine about how everything sucks, it's not going to change a thing. If you sit in front of your computer and look for jobs, you're getting there. If you get off your arse and try to do something with your life, you're definately going to get there. Getting somewhere or achieving a goal is not done in a few weeks or months, especially not at your age. You're 17, dude. Girl or not, fancy PC or not, ... you're meant to enjoy life while you have the chance - before you end up in the lovely adult system of working 5/6 days out of 7, paying your own rent and utility bills, etcetera. As rude as this may sound: don't act like a spoiled kid, don't be a spoiled kid, get a grip on your life and start thinking. You need money? Get an evening or weekend job, as has been suggested several times. Then you can go out, have some fun, and even meet a girl - because you're not going to meet a girl sitting in your room eh (unless you're a serial killer and lure them in prior to slaughtering them, but that's not necessarily advisable as prison is no fun). Crap, just got an SMS from my girlfriend saying she won't be back home until tomorrow. Where's that "new topic" button....
Anyone wanna help him collect his toys from around his pram and then we can all get back to talking geeky and oogling amazing hardware and hotties . Morgan.
