1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

So the situation...

Discussion in 'Serious' started by KayinBlack, 1 Aug 2018.

  1. KayinBlack

    KayinBlack Currently Rebuilding

    Joined:
    2 Jul 2004
    Posts:
    5,414
    Likes Received:
    269
    Is FUBAR.

    I lost almost everything in the divorce. All my PC equipment, my tools, my calibrated Fluke, everything. I have most of my bows, a few parts, and clothes. And none of my heels, wigs, makeup or dresses, not that I can wear them here. That leads to another problem. I've developed conversion disorder from going back in the closet. It's so bad I seized and broke my fake hip. It's not quite under control yet. Also, so in the closet I'm the third queen at Cair Paravel. Aslan sends his warm wishes.

    My fiancee, Karen has multiple autoimmune disorders. It's the first time I've spent a lot of time around someone as sick as me. We've both been referred to palliative care to help us manage our pain. Stupid opiate bans hurt we who struggle with chronic illness.

    I'm also now the second mom to my fiancee's son, Loki. He's trans just like me, and I'm supposed to be a role model. I suck at it.

    I don't even own a whole PC any more. This is being typed from a shattered fourth gen Fire that I resurrected. It's all that stands between me and insanity. I ordered a new case, so we'll see if I still have what it takes to mod. Some days I wonder if I'm well enough to try.

    We're working on moving to Oregon around New Year's. There I can transition in peace, as can my son. We don't know how we're going to afford it, but we have to go. The plan is to get a cheap RV and go cross country as Marfan prevents me from flying. We know we can do it, we just have to find the money. Fixed income sucks. Vote Democrat if you want me to be able to pay for anything.

    I did keep my fat cat in the divorce. Poor thing isn't the same after how they treated her while I was barred from the house.

    I'm still coming to grips with knowing I'm a woman in a man's body, and being unable to act on it for my safety, as well as knowing burying it is literally killing me. (Literally, not figuratively.)

    I feel pretty desperate. It's good to be home here at Bit.

    Where's Nexxo?
     
  2. Pete J

    Pete J RIP Teelzebub

    Joined:
    28 Sep 2009
    Posts:
    5,275
    Likes Received:
    307
    Dunno what to say Kayin.

    You had any surgery, treatment or otherwise yet for changing sex?
     
  3. DXR_13KE

    DXR_13KE BananaModder

    Joined:
    14 Sep 2005
    Posts:
    9,095
    Likes Received:
    357
    Stay strong.
     
  4. jenners

    jenners New Member

    Joined:
    16 Jul 2018
    Posts:
    24
    Likes Received:
    1
    hi,

    i don't have any experience with this to be of any help sadly, i hope you get yourself in a better place soon.
     
  5. Pliqu3011

    Pliqu3011 all flowers in time bend towards the sun

    Joined:
    8 Aug 2009
    Posts:
    2,670
    Likes Received:
    242
    I hugely admire your strength, Kayin, the things you've been through could fill a book. I know you'll get to Oregon, and I hope you and your son can finally safely be who you are there.
     
  6. Mojo

    Mojo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    18 Nov 2011
    Posts:
    2,477
    Likes Received:
    184
    That's quite the pickle!!

    I repeat what these guys have said - keep strong. Clearly very strong willed to have been through so much and not given up.. so don't stop now.. you're on a roll!
     
  7. Nexxo

    Nexxo Queue Jumper

    Joined:
    23 Oct 2001
    Posts:
    33,153
    Likes Received:
    1,146
    Well that sounds complicated and very, very difficult. :( Sucks to hear that you have all these problems, while living in one of the more repressed places in the world and currently having a psychopath for a president. But while you have a family (and the one you choose can be better than the one you were born in), you have a life.

    And of course, you have Bit-Tech. Welcome back sister. It's been too long.

    Stay focused on Oregon. There's an Amtrak train from Birmingham AL to Portland OR.
     
  8. RedFlames

    RedFlames ...is not a Belgian football team

    Joined:
    23 Apr 2009
    Posts:
    10,152
    Likes Received:
    999
    I was thinking to myself the other day 'Not see Kayin on in a while... wonder if they're ok...'...

    ... Hope bit can be the oasis of sanity you need/want it to be.
     
  9. GeorgeStorm

    GeorgeStorm Aggressive PC Builder

    Joined:
    16 Dec 2008
    Posts:
    5,922
    Likes Received:
    217
    As others have said, glad to see(?) you back, sorry to hear things haven't been great, hopefully they'll be better from here on out, hope you can become more active on here as you once were :)
     
  10. KayinBlack

    KayinBlack Currently Rebuilding

    Joined:
    2 Jul 2004
    Posts:
    5,414
    Likes Received:
    269
    It already feels like home again. Hopefully tomorrow I get my new PC innards ordered, and then I can be more active.

    It's good to see people that missed me. I missed you guys too. Just wish the situation was better.

    Mind if I borrow the red dress, Nexxo?
     
  11. Nexxo

    Nexxo Queue Jumper

    Joined:
    23 Oct 2001
    Posts:
    33,153
    Likes Received:
    1,146
    Yeah, but careful you don't rip it. Got a hot weekend coming up.
     
  12. RedFlames

    RedFlames ...is not a Belgian football team

    Joined:
    23 Apr 2009
    Posts:
    10,152
    Likes Received:
    999
    We all know you have more than one.
     
  13. Nexxo

    Nexxo Queue Jumper

    Joined:
    23 Oct 2001
    Posts:
    33,153
    Likes Received:
    1,146
    The other ones are in the wash... they're in the delicates pile.
     
  14. Jake123456

    Jake123456 Surprise!

    Joined:
    25 Jan 2011
    Posts:
    1,711
    Likes Received:
    45
    I was thinking the same as well, not seen you post in a while Kayin. Hope to see more of you!
     
  15. Byron C

    Byron C *psst!* This guy is a loser!

    Joined:
    12 Apr 2002
    Posts:
    5,208
    Likes Received:
    465
    I'm very glad to see you posting again @KayinBlack.

    I'm not sure what I can say to be honest, you've shown a lot of strength to come through everything you've described so far. Being on the wrong side of the pond I have little control over your government in the US, but if there's anything I - or any of us - can do to help you then please let us know.

    Oh really? I thought you were "washing your hair"?
     
    Jake123456 likes this.

Share This Page